Thanks for sharing and I can definitely understand your disappointment. There are a bunch of viewpoints shared, but I think you’re the only person who can determine the right path forward.
Truly listening to her reasons (true listening defined as listening with the intent of having your mind and perspective changed rather than listening to try and figure out a way to show her why your perspective is right) is definitely the way to go.
I also think you know your daughter the best. Is she apt to make rash decisions? Given the schools that she got into, she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders. Has she considered your concerns? Ultimately, I agree that it’s her decision AS LONG as she can provide a rational reason why. You don’t have to agree with her reasons, but if they’re solid, I would advise respecting them.
I speak from experience when I say that she will have a bright future if she’s able to articulate her reasons and stay staunch in her decision. Thirty plus years ago, I made a decision to go to UVA instead of an Ivy League school despite my parent’s protests.
Today, my closest friends and relationships are from that decision I made, I’m independently wealthy, have a great relationship with my family, etc.
She’ll do great! … However, if UNC wins the NCAA tournament, then she should definitely go to UNC!!! j/k. 