Parents have a vision for their kids as much as the kids do. Some is how they see the kids at their schools, some is how they see themselves relating to others about their kids’ decisions. A number of friends have gotten pretty wound up as their kids have chosen non-Ivies over Ivies, etc. And to be fair, the parents had done a lot over the years to ensure that those “premium” options would be available to their kids so were understandably shocked/disappointed to discover that that when they had them, the kids didn’t want them!
I would have a candid conversation with your D with the goal of understanding her decision and articulating why you had imagined something different for her. It shouldn’t be about changing her mind or making her feel guilty for not following “your plan”. This is an interesting time in the parent child relationship as it becomes one between adults but where there is still dependence and control. Ideally, you can become a trusted advisor for her as she navigates the next stage of her life, and this is an old to do a bit of a reset/readjustment.
Sending hugs. This is hard!