I agree that it’s hard to see your child make a choice that you would not have made, but it sounds like you are OK with her making her own choice even if you are struggling and, to me, that means you are far ahead of where we were when our son chose the military over what we, even today, think were better college choices, especially as he is our only and turned his back on our alma mater breaking the family chain. Though easy on our wallet, his choice confounded us and, for a while, we didn’t know how to process it or what to say about it to others.
So, I get it. But, as posted several times above, this choice of hers will get her anywhere she wants to go. There is no downside. As @twogirls advised above, please resist the urge to ever mention to anyone what she turned down. It’s irrelevant and will reflect poorly on you. (Ask me how I know.) I think it’s valid for you to ask with interest and no judgement how she came to her conclusion and keep a gentle interest-only conversation going. You never know, her decision may not be carved in stone yet, and she may be open to hearing any points you want to make. But if, in the end, she’s truly made her choice, embrace it, embrace her, and don’t look back. She will thrive best where she feels she fits best.
Our son is three years out of college now and enjoying a very satisfying life even though he’s conscripted for six more years. We still shake our heads privately, but he made the right choice for himself in spite of us. It’s easy to say even if it’s hard to hear, but it really is all about them and not about us. Hugs to you as you get to that better place. You will.
ETA: Amen, @gouf78. Amen.