Dismissing good schools because they are "too close"

I went to our flagship. 20 min from the house I grew up in and only saw my parents on holidays. All my siblings went away, all but one has moved back and we all are 15-45 minutes from my parents. While I lived closest in college, I left for the longest, spending 10 years across the country before moving back.

Our oldest had a similar experience, though as his time in college progressed we saw him more but it was always on his schedule and never ever a pop in scenario. Current college student is 1000 miles away and we only see her on holidays as well. It is a mental adjustment. It was harder with her as we knew that a spontaneous visit would never happen and the next visit date was already set in stone and far away whereas with the oldest we knew if we had to, we could see him very quickly.

Of course he now lives 200 miles from his sister so he can spontaneously visit…and has!

Current senior wants to go far away, farther than the others. My deal with him is that’s ok as long as COA is at or under his sisters and that he has skin in the game (his loans and work) if it is more than our flagship.

I am making him apply to 2 in state schools. 90 min and 60 min away. One is a financial safety and the other a fit safety if he changes his mind on distance from home. Making is an overstatement, he would be happy at either and neither needed to be a parental choice although if he didn’t have one in state option I would have exercised the parental choice/wallet card.

I’ve not worried about the older ones and don’t about this one either.