Like @happy1, we are a full pay family. Our son’s choices came down to $40K (merit) 800 mi away, $100K 3 mi away, $240K 1100 mi away, and $270K (400mi away). The $100K/3mi school was the best rated (top 10) for his intended study area, the $240K/1100mi a close 2nd, and the $270K/400mi away was the school he liked best from a social perspective, but it was ranked a distant 3rd in his area. All 3 were top 25 national universities. The merit school was the lowest ranked.
Ultimately, it came down to desires vs economics. We chose the $100K 3 mi away school, deeming it the best value. He lives in a dorm. It has worked out very well. He stops by (15 min bus ride) when his roommate is driving him crazy or when he wants to use cook with his friends (also students) or during short school breaks. We even get to see him for family events or when out of town guests stop by on the weekends for a game (like @Fish125 , we never see him at games except with binoculars) . Any other visits are initiated by him. He says that despite living in his hometown, his experience is completely different and that he is discovering something new all of the time. So I think that in our case, being close has worked out for everyone.