<p>Maybe a month will be OK, but I don’t think that landlord will allow the apartment to be kept as storage, even if you or your sister pay the rent. It is risky for buildings to have unoccupied apartments - damages or leaks aren’t reported, buildings are vandalized, etc. Additionally, any leases were signed by the deceased, so there is no contract with your sister-in-law to keep the apartment.</p>
<p>If the landlord doesn’t know that the tenant is deceased, he/she should be informed immediately.</p>
<p>We just finished cleaning out my father’s sister’s home a few weeks ago. Fortunately, the will clearly left all of the household belongings to my sister and I - so there was no one to seek permission from for disposal of what we deemed to be of little value. An enormous amount of the belongings were junk. (think cat hair covered 20 year old silk floral arrangements, upholstered furniture covered in dog and cat fur and smoke smell, dirty area rugs). There is a real cost to disposing of things…hauling fees, many trips to the dump, salvation army etc.</p>
<p>Many of her neighbors were quite interested in what we had deemed to be junk. Little stevedor-like country women would show up every Saturday to take what we had boxed that was heading to good will or the dump ( grease covered pyrex, dozens of dirty glasses and mugs, ancient appliances, unattractive accessories, moldy lawn furniture). The stuff would disappear like magic. One of them even wanted the rugs and upholstered furniture…because she smoked and had dogs and cats, it didn’t matter to her! </p>
<p>We set very specific time frames for these folks. If you want it, you pick it up between 1-3 on such and such afternoon and bring people to haul it. One of the women actually CLEANED the silk florals, disassembled them, and is making new arrangements to donate somewhere. </p>
<p>One man’s junk is clearly another’s treasure.</p>
<p>For the valuable items (and there were a few), the will called for us to pick straws and take turns. She and I did not have to do this, because it just ‘worked out’ - we took what fit in our homes, and what had sentimental value. Value wise, it lined up in the end.
I did see this method work extremely well for my grandmothers belongings, because a fight would have ensued.</p>
<p>These times are stressful for families. It is good to bend sometimes within reason. One of my aunt’s neighbor’s wanted a cooking pot that was valuable and that I was REALLY attached to. I gave it to them - I knew they had been good to my aunt and it was important to them.</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss; try to keep relationships positive.</p>
<p>Mathmom, if by “Yugoslavian primitive art” you mean Croatian, and if these paintings are “reverse painted” on glass, you might have some pretty valuable items there. You might want to locate an art appraiser–or take one or two of the pieces in to an art gallery–to see what you really have.</p>
<p>“And if we have to keep the apt another month, we can just do that.” </p>
<p>No time like the present to start putting some boundaries in place. Letter to heirs: “Sis has requested that we extend the lease on the apartment for one more month so we can make a thorough examination of belongings. Though I have some reservations about this, I have agreed. I forwarded the request to the landlord, who was reluctant to grant an extension given that there is no longer a lease in place. But in consideration of the circumstances he did agree to a short extension. Since there isn’t any money in the estate to pay for the additional month’s rent, I will pay it … just so we can keep the process moving forward.”</p>
<p>I would also be sure everyone concerned gets a copy of the letter so that it’s clear that there is an end date for the rental.</p>
<p>If there may be significant funds in the estate and rental is a large sum, you can say you will advance the funds for ONE month’s rent, to be deducted from any proceeds (or save the hassle & be magnanimous like the above poster by just paying the rent outright).</p>
<p>Ever since my sisters and I had to clean out my mother’s assisted-living apartment in five days after her death, I have looked at my possessions with a cynical eye toward what my children will think when they have to clean up after us. There really is no reason to keep those tax records from 1983–gone!</p>
<p>I’ve been working on labeling photos, a list of passwords and financial accounts in the safe, and regular discussions with the kids as to what’s valuable and what’s junk. </p>
<p>Recently, a friend told me that she and her husband have added a clause to their wills saying that the will can’t be changed from this point unless ALL children are informed and have the opportunity to request (at their expense) a competency hearing. Her mother changed her will to give everything to one child, leaving her father without money after her death.</p>
<p>same here dmd77. We were very uncomfortable going through my aunt’s things. We’v e pledged never have that much in our houses to go through. It was personal things too, very disorganized. You might find anything anywhere. </p>
<p>The information you are sharing about your friend’s will is very interesting. We found multiple drafts of wills (unsigned, not witnessed or filed) in my aunt’s home. They were not sensible. I guess you can do what you want with your money, but at a certain point, people can be influenced unduly by loneliness, lies, manipulation, and failing mental state. I also know of cases where children have had parents take out large equity loans, handed the child the money, and had no assets to live on in retirement because they willingly gave the child significant assets. Makes to good kids pretty mad - they are left holding the bag, of course.</p>
<p>I guess I should clear up the financial picture. </p>
<p>Dh, the youngest, is the poorest of the three remaining siblings. We really have nothing we can contribute financially. The other brother is quite wealthy. The packrat sister always says they have no money, though they do have considerable assets (two rental properties and part share of a house in a foreign country). The way the family always has operated is the wealthy brother pulls more of the financial load, and my dh pulls more of the literal “heavy lifting.” We can contribute more time than money; for the brother, it’s the other way around. And that’s all been fine with everyone. The packrat sister is the only one on-site, so she does a lot of the figurative heavy lifting.</p>
<p>For the other siblings, throwing more money at the problem is not an issue. For us, it is. The good news is that they don’t really expect us to contribute much financially, but I’m starting to feel like that’s putting us at a disadvantage, that we need to just go along to get along. Additionally, much to my surprise, the deceased sister, because she wasn’t married and had no kids, left all her retirement money and an annuity to her seven nieces and nephews, including my two. The brother and sister seem willing to let that money be used to cover any number of expenses that may arise, needed or, IMO, unneeded. To me, it feels like frittering away money, but we don’t feel like we have the authority to put our feet down on this matter.</p>
<p>I have laid the groundwork for proceeding with our plan. That basically gives sister two weeks’ notice to take out of there what she wants and/or segregate the items. We’ll come in on that weekend and box up all that we can (I think we’ll be able to knock most of it out) and move items that need to be moved, etc. And then we’ll just have to see what happens from there.</p>
<p>“Additionally, much to my surprise, the deceased sister, because she wasn’t married and had no kids, left all her retirement money and an annuity to her seven nieces and nephews, including my two. The brother and sister seem willing to let that money be used to cover any number of expenses that may arise, needed or, IMO, unneeded. To me, it feels like frittering away money, but we don’t feel like we have the authority to put our feet down on this matter.”</p>
<p>If the kids are the beneficiaries for a formally defined retirement account (IRA, 401k, etc.) and annuity, that money can’t go anywhere except to them. The beneficiaries should receive information directly from the investment firms that hold those accounts. Talk with your own financial advisor about whether it makes sense to convert your kids’ shares into “beneficiary annuities/IRAs”. This would tie the bulk of that money up in a way that is invisible to the financial aid process and will jump-start their own retirement funds, but since it is money that is already paying out they can take out as much as they want each year if they decide to go that route.</p>
<p>How the rest of the value of the estate is distributed will depend on the will. If you think that the executor is moving too slowly, and spending too much of the estate’s money, talk to a lawyer familiar with estate issues in the area where the deceased lived, and find out what everyone’s rights are.</p>
<p>You need to find out who the personal representative is (who has legal authority over the estate). I don’t know if you have said if she had a will. If the PR is one of you siblings, then you may have issues. That person has a lot of control. You have legal remedies if you are not happy with what they are doing, but that causes bad feelings. If the personal representative is an attorney or someone outside the family, you should have no qualms about contacting them to let them know that you are concerned about this and would like to see things “move along” in order to preserve the assets of the estate and not spend them on needless apartment rent, for example.</p>
<p>By the way, if your children are minors, you DO have legal authority in this situation as the legal guardian of heirs to the estate. (Believe me, I have been sued and badgered myself by such a parent!).</p>
<p>I agree that usually this is the case. BUT recently I needed my 1979 or 1980 tax return to verify my employment in another state (I was buying back years of teacher retirement contributions). I initially laughed when they asked me if I had a pay stub or tax return. But oddly, all of my tax returns from the 1980’s were in a desk…and poof the one I needed was there.</p>
<p>I’m getting rid of lots of things I simply don’t use. I mean…do I really need ten sets of towels, 10 or more serving bowls, 5 sets of dishes, 6 baking dishes? NO. So the duplicates are going to Goodwill. </p>