<p>My son is finishing up his sophomore year and loves Princeton! He wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world. He works very hard but has never been happier. He has a great group of friends and is often way too busy to talk to his parents. I wouldn’t let the negativity on this thread bother you - you will find discontent people everywhere - in college, and in life. However, if getting straight As is the absolute most important thing in life (and if it is, I’d say one has other problems), Princeton might not be the place to go.</p>
<p>Wow Yale give 50% As? (A+, A, A-). That’s so inflated.</p>
<p>Add me to the list of parents whose kids love Princeton. Freshman D finds the school work challenging and rewarding and has a happy social life. </p>
<p>So Yale gives out 50% As, and Princeton only 35%. Does anybody really believe that that 15% difference actually significantly changes the basic grade patterns of any given student? The average gpa went down by .07 after grade deflation was instituted–so a 3.2 at Princeton now would be a 3.27 if there were no such thing. Sorry but it seems the policy is a convenient scapegoat that some use for the natural drop in most people’s gpa’s from high school. I do think kids that can’t handle not being on top won’t be happy at Princeton, but it is likely that they wouldn’t be any happier at any peer institutions with the same level of competition.</p>
<p>My children have so loved their time at Princeton it’s hard to put their experience into words. Don’t worry. Seriously. Don’t worry.</p>
<p>Yet another happy parental customer. I remember older child complaining, too, how hard the work was at his midwest LAC, and I’ve no doubt it was. It goes with the territory - shouldn’t college be hard? D grouses about deflation, but when she was making her decision her worry was about the eating clubs. She signed in to one this spring and loves it. I don’t think she’ll stop grousing about deflation, but you know what - she’s getting ahead of the curve because she didn’t roll over and give up. That indicates to me that maybe she’s learned something in her time there. She has a wonderful group of friends - kind and fun and serious about their studies and cooperative in their school work. </p>
<p>Feel free to PM me, if you’d like. The one bit of advice I have is to have your S go on an outdoor action camping trip - and to sign up right away so he isn’t closed out (they end up with a waiting list, more than half the incoming freshman participate). You don’t have to have ANY camping experience. If S really hates the idea of camping, there are other alternatives where you stay on campus and do community service activities during the day. Details on the P website.</p>
<p>For those whose children are freshmen and they love Princeton. Great. I’m happy for you. Just be on the alert for cognitive dissonance. Getting into Princeton is a wonderful achievement and your children are “supposed” to like what they worked so hard for their whole lives. Coach them through the doubts and steer them toward developing relationships with professors as well as students. The professors really help calm the storm caused by the grading/competitive environment for type A personalities who have a hard time with lower grades. The grade competition is exacerbated in sophomore year with the eating club thing. It’s like a one-two punch for some kids; for others it’s where they finally achieve. Certain type A’s are governed by all kinds of “metrics” that define their status and Princeton as a relatively small school has it in spades: grades, clubs, money, power, awards. What’s remarkable about the Princeton student population is the degree of each metric…the BEST grades or the most selective clubs, or parents who have SO MUCH MONEY or power, or the winner of this or that Olympiad… Most have multiple status metrics and those who don’t feel this inadequacy. I’m sure other schools have this too but my kid didn’t go to another school. The best way to help your child through this is to know about it. Keep them comfortable in their own skin.</p>
<p>“Most have multiple status metrics and those who don’t feel this inadequacy.”
-Quote from Tigermom (don’t know how to get the grey box to show up)</p>
<p>Wow. You have a very strange and unhealthy view of the world. I think these posts are beginning to show more about you than about Princeton.</p>
<p>^Also, I resent the fact that you are attributing my son’s great experience to some sort of “cognitive dissonance”. REALLY?</p>
<p>Sometimes people go to Princeton (and other selective universities) only for the reason it’s Princeton and they got in. It’s hard to say no. But sometimes it’s just a rotten fit and that’s a reason to be unhappy.</p>
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<p>Are you kidding? These type A kids whose happiness you suggest is determined by these metrics are going to have just as hard a time, if not harder, in the real world where competition in all those areas is ubiquitous. I do feel sorry for the perfectionist, type A people of this world, for whom happiness is elusive because they are always measuring themselves against others and therefore will always come across those who are “better” or have more. To suggest this is a particular problem at Princeton is unfair, and for those poor kids with feelings of inadequacy, I sustain that it has nothing to do with grade deflation.</p>
<p>As I’ve said before, if the fear of that policy keeps some hyper-competitive kids from matriculating, it contributes to an overall more grounded student body.</p>
<p>Tigermom</p>
<p>I am truly sorry that you and your child seem to be so dissatisfied at Princeton. However, for those who are viewing this thread in order to decide whether to apply/attend, you should take not that Tigermom’s view does not seem to be generally shared by either parents or current students.</p>
<p>Yes, kids question themselves at college and have moments where they’re unhappy (this is fairly universal) and some school newspaper opinion pieces are not overwhelmingly positive (as you can see from the Harvard article I cited above). But on balance, I think that Princeton kids are collaborative, well-adjusted, intelligent and extremely happy with their experience.</p>
<p>Where is silverturtle matriculating to?</p>
<p>I am a parent of a Princeton Senior and Freshman. They both work very hard. I think they assumed college is supposed to be harder then high school.
That being said, they love the campus and have wonderful groups of friends, and know they picked the right school (for them). Both are a bit sad to leave campus is a couple of week.</p>
<p>If it makes anyone here feel better Wharton is graded on a curve and is grade deflated also!</p>
<p>My oldest Daughter is finishing her sophomore year at Princeton, my youngest Daughter will be matriculating in the Fall. D1 absolutely loves Princeton. She was HS valedictorian, and as quite a few other valedictorians and other high-achieving students at Princeton and OTHER selective and top colleges, received her first grade less than an “A” at Princeton. She had a few “B’s” her first semester Freshman Year, which I attribute more to getting used to College than the effects of Grade Deflation. Her grades since have been “A”, “A-”, and she was accepted to her top Study Abroad program this summer. Yes, she does work hard, but that is the type of kid she is, she would work hard at any college, as would the majority of students who are admitted to top schools. More importantly, she has absolutely blossomed socially from the somewhat shy “bookworm” she was in HS. She belongs to a Dance Company, edits for the Prince, tutors kids in Trenton/Princeton for GetSet and bickered for/joined an Eating Club this Spring. She is “out” every Thursday/Saturday night, has a blast at Lawnparties,stayed for Reunions last year (the only reason she is not staying this year is because of her Sister’s HS Graduation). </p>
<p>D2 is an “A” student, but has seen a couple of “B+s” in HS. She has visited/stayed the weekend with her sister 5-6 times in the last two years. D2 fell in Love with Princeton also, but never in her wildest dreams thought that she would be admitted because she was not valedictorian like her Sister. D2 has seen The Street as well the library, studying alongside her Sister during her extended visits. She knows that Princeton will require work, and that she will most probably see a number of “Bs”, and maybe even her first “Cs”, but she also knows that Princeton is a “fit” for her, she cannot wait to attend. She feels at “home” there. Her Prefrosh weekend was less than stellar (as was D1s two years ago). I am not sure why other than the fact that the students are so busy with classes, hosting events and performances. Fortunately D1 had already decided on with Princeton the moment she visited the prior year and D2 had visited enough to know that it was a “fit” ( D1 was also D2’s host this year- busy with Dance Company Spring show,as well as “This Side of Princeton” performance, problem sets due Friday- she really did not have much time to “entertain” her Sister). </p>
<p>As far as students not sharing notes, being “cut throat”, I have not heard of any instances of this from D1. Again, it depends on the student and I doubt that this “problem” is unique to Princeton. D1 shares her notes with friends and vice-versa, I have witnessed it several times.</p>
<p>That said, Princeton is not for everyone, NO school is. I also agree with a previous poster that some kids who are not a “fit” will attend a school merely for its name/prestige. One of D1’s high-achieving HS classmates is attending WashU. I talked to her mother several weeks ago. Her Daughter absolutely HATES it,too stressful,too much work, she struggles for “B’s”, wishes she had gone to the State Flagship instead. This could and does happen ANYWHERE!</p>
<p>I am really sorry that some kids have not had positive experiences at Princeton. I absolutely love the place and wish that I had had the opportunity to attend there years ago. I still pinch myself that both of My Daughters have this opportunity and that it has been such a positive experience for D1. Princeton is a “Dream Come True” for our Family.</p>
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<p>Perhaps it would be more helpful for high schoolers if CCers described schools not in terms of the type of student who would thrive there, which tend to be described in vague adjectives (ambitious, motivated, bright), but in terms of the type of student who would not.</p>
<p>Redblue, I believe Silverturtle is going to Brown?</p>
<p>As a current Princeton senior (yay 2011!), I feel the need to weigh in on this conversation. In my last four years here, I’ve had wonderful times and have grown to appreciate the school immensely, but have had really terrible times as well. The point that I really want to emphasize about this is that I have actually spent weeks of those terrible times living with friends/a boyfriend at other universities (MIT, Harvard, Columbia) when I simply couldn’t stand it here anymore and am very sure that regardless of where I would have been during the last 4 years, those dark moments would have happened for me. In every single university, especially the prestigious ones, there are going to be ‘status metrics’ (what kind of phrasing is that?!) and exclusivity and competition and self-doubt.</p>
<p>A lot of the anxiety over competition and grades is common not even really due to grade deflation in my opinion, but just kids getting used to being at a university where the person sitting next to them in lecture has already published papers on macroeconomics, or the student who always asks questions in COS217 has a father who invented a language and is a big player in the field. My point is, everyone here is incredible. Your ego takes a beating because of it. I had a very difficult time adjusting freshman year because I had defined myself by my achievements so much during high school - once those achievements weren’t necessarily guaranteed, I felt like my world was falling down around me. Silly, yes. Immature, yes. Very very realistic and common, yes. Especially in engineering and the sciences, grade deflation is not something that has a big impact on your grades at all.</p>
<p>A very positive thing to come out of this all is that I adjusted throughout the last few years and I think I’ve seen a lot of personal growth. I still struggle with not being ‘the best,’ but I’m in a small major that I love and have had excellent experiences getting to know the faculty and the students in my major; I joined a sign-in club last year and a co-op this year (was meh about the sign-in club, love the co-op to death); especially in the last year, I’ve really clicked with my friends and have made some close connections. I mean honestly I think I just grew up a lot and stopped being so self-centric being at Princeton, and many, many students do the same thing. </p>
<p>If you read some of my posts about being here as a freshman, I think that it’ll inspire more confidence that even if your kids aren’t super excited about everything (or anything), chances are things will evolve over the next few years.</p>
<p>IAMNOBODY-- Thanks for the personal post about college adjustment.
I am going to show it to my 17 y/o daughter since she is quite the perfectionist
and has exhibited some of the characteristics you express. The stress aspect
of Princeton has not been lost on her as she studies potential schools. You’ve
been helpful.</p>
<p>By the way, your growth will continue post your Princeton graduation. I suspect
you know this by now. Let’s just say that America is a tough town-- sounds
like you are going to do just fine.</p>
<p>.02 David</p>
<p>Thanks so much IAmNoBody to share your growth experience at Pton.</p>