<p>I have a friend who just booked a $120/head reception that she really can’t afford. She is counting on significant cash gifts to offset her costs. Nothing about it seems personal to me but it’s what she wants so I hold my tongue. That’s getting harder the more she vents to me about costs. There’s nothing wrong with keeping things simple. I much prefer events which have a more personal feel anyway. Ditch the packaged stuff and have a fun party.</p>
<p>We had a potluck buffet and purchased legs of beer and excellent cakes of various sorts. We used sheets for the table clothes- cheap, colorful, and you can wash them and use them or donate them when you are done…</p>
<p>Shower curtains also make lovely tablecloths and come in interesting designs if you aren’t interested in sheets. Ross and other discounters have good prices on sheets, shower curtains and tablecloths.</p>
<p>Several of my classmates had nice small afternoon receptions, with just punch and cookies and cake at the family’s home after the ceremony. I’m sure the cost was minimal.</p>
<p>somemom, I have been loading up my Pinterest with lots of ideas! (Sorry to those who follow me…)</p>
<p>$120/head for the reception is just the start of it. If that’s the food, then there is the cake (hotels generally charge a serving fee even if you BYO cake), charges for seat covers, chargers, $$ for video/audio setup, yada yada yada. One place I investigated required you to have a wedding planner or they would charge you $900 to use one of their for the day. Also charged $900 if you didn’t use their caterer. </p>
<p>I am so thankful that S and fiancee are not going that route… </p>
<p>If my back yard were in shape, I’d do it here in a heartbeat. Doing it in the front yard seems a little much. We’ll see what the happy couple thinks.</p>
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<p>LOL, I can so relate. As I mentioned, our reception was in my inlaws’ back yard. We did have a caterer for the fajita buffet, and bought a bakery cake, but I wanted the traditional “nuts and mints” with the cake. Part of the way through the reception, MIL signaled to H…to tell him that the nut dish was empty and that* he *needed to refill it! (Good thing she didn’t tell me!)</p>
<p>You might check out the Ribbon Retreat dot com. Really nice ribbons in large variety of colors/styles. And hardware for things like headbands, ponytail covers, nice demo videos. They will send samples for color matching, too.</p>
<p>A great place to buy ribbon at a fabulous price is JKM Ribbons, online. Huge selection. They also do personalized ribbon.</p>
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<p>I spoke with a bridal consultant recently, she actually saw the bill for a nearby resort wedding. They list prices for the meals at the $35+ range, so one might think it is doable, but by the time they add all the extra fees-wine, cake cutting, etc., the total for a 150 person wedding was $35,000. That was paid to the venue so they still had dresses, photos, etc. Crazy add ons!</p>
<p>I’m learning a lot about full-price weddings here! I think I’m going to start NOW with my 12 yo and encourage some level of do-it-yourself plans. H had his 50th Bday recently and we had a big party at home. We looked into catering and found instead some excellent websites for DIY weddings that broke down any number of recipes by how many guests and how many other food offerings you’d have. We did it all ourselves, and the guests had a great time. The trick was to spread out the work so that on THE day, you’re not running around cooking and serving. The websites explain the timetable too.</p>
<p>We watched sales and bought those shelter tents at a chain store on sale, borrowed tables and chairs for free from our church (it’s allowed for members) and bought decorations, table covers, etc. from the dollar store. For plates and cutlery we bought compostable stuff from a restaurant supply store. It cost more than plastic but we didn’t need to worry about garbage in the recycling bin or compostables in the garbage.</p>
<p>We did something similar for our wedding 13 years ago using a friend’s yard and again, everyone had fun. You don’t need to spend a fortune to celebrate with friends.</p>
<p>sseamom, do you have the link to that website? Thanks!</p>
<p>S returned home from the UK last night and they are amenable to an afternoon wedding because they want to livestream it to the grandparents and relatives overseas who will not be able to make it. He applied for their marriage license this am and scheduled the civil ceremony for the end of this month. Holy cow.</p>
<p>Found out this am from S that fiancee’s uncle runs a vegan chocolate shop. Makes everything onsite. DS said they did a tour and it was pretty cool, plus the chocolates were awesome. Problem solved! </p>
<p>This should be a lot of fun.</p>
<p>Counting-I actually saved a few websites, but the last of these was my favorite. It gave suggestions for several party sizes and budgets. We bought our foil pans, basic foods, veggies and fruits at Costco and went from there. </p>
<p>[Wedding</a> Reception Food: FAQs Answered by Experts](<a href=“HugeDomains.com”>HugeDomains.com)</p>
<p>[Wedding</a> Planning Advice for Brides and Family](<a href=“ezweddingplanner.com”>ezweddingplanner.com)</p>
<p>[thrifty</a> frugal wedding reception food ideas recipes tips weeding reception tips](<a href=“http://lotsofinfo.tripod.com/weddinghelp.html]thrifty”>thrifty frugal wedding reception food ideas recipes tips weeding reception tips)</p>
<p>These were some interesting websites.</p>
<p>In the NYT: <a href=“The Reinvented Wedding: Smaller and Cheaper - The New York Times”>The Reinvented Wedding: Smaller and Cheaper - The New York Times;
<p>For DIY cake, my SIL made a carrot cake sheetcake, placing 3 sheetcakes alongside each other, so it looked like one. Slathered cream-cheese frosting. That was the base.</p>
<p>To decorate it: We had a friend who makes cookies that swirl into shapes of her own making. Quite an art form. I wish I knew her recipe. She made all kinds of wedding-type images of people dancing, flowers, cozy cottages and so on. She arrived as a wedding guest, and with no fuss put her cookies across the top of the sheetcake. It looked like a Chagall painting.</p>
<p>It was delicious, easy, original and fun.</p>
<p>I know someone who made a “tiered” wedding cake by making the bottom level of the cake, then faking the rest of the tiers with Styrofoam covered in icing. They got their “cake shot” then served the crowd from homemade sheet cakes. </p>
<p>They bought the toppers and supplies at Michael’s. Michael’s also has tons of craft projects for wedding if you want favors, etc.</p>
<p>I will update this now that we are TEN DAYS away from the wedding!</p>
<p>I have calculated that we have saved S1 & DIL about $15k by doing so much ourselves. It has been darned near a full-time job of late. </p>
<p>I was amused to read upthread that I had worried last summer about running a hotel the week of the wedding. Well, we have guests arriving starting 8/28 and staying through 8/7 (wedding is 8/3), including fifteen in the house the night before the wedding, over my strenuous objections and a prior agreement with DH that we would foot the bill to put most of them at the hotel for Fri. and Sat. night. If that’s the way he feels, then he has no business objecting to me hiring the neighbor’s landscaping company so I don’t have to cut the grass, mulch, weedwhack and trim bushes next week (and that cost is less than the four hotel rooms he decided we didn’t need). Instead, I will be in the air-conditioned house cleaning bathrooms and such. </p>
<p>S & DIL have turned over pretty much everything to me. I do the legwork, provide several options and they pick what they want. In some cases, it has been like pulling teeth to get them to make decisions. My DIL is the furthest thing from a bridezila possible. I am not surprised and is probably part of why S fell in love with her. They have been happy with how things are going, and I hope they like the surprises I’ve made. I take lots of pics of the projects and have an album on gmail they can see. There are a couple of things I haven’t posted there, but am positive they will love them.</p>
<p>Observations to this point:
- Pinterest is serious wedding porn. </p>
<p>2) If the price for something online looks too good to be true, check the shipping costs. One place had fabulous stuff for great prices, but shipping was around 50% of the cost of goods.</p>
<p>3) Buy stuff from places that are not hawking wedding supplies. Prices are lower. The dollar store was good for wire baskets; Lowes was good for a lot of supplies (buckets for wine, cable ties, extension cords, paint chips, etc.)</p>
<p>4) Support Etsy artists. Got the most adorable personalized wedding topper from one, and a geek heart in hammered metal from another.</p>
<p>5) Making a set of steampunk tile coasters for 120 people is incredibly time consuming and takes up every horizontal square foot of space in sight. OTOH, each coaster cost 51 cents, and half the cost was the heavy duty resin that keeps the coasters from sticking together. And they don’t come from The Knot!!! </p>
<p>6) Free projects: directions signs made from old pallets; heart banners made from Lowes paint chips and strung on embroidery thread; vases are used Mason jars that have been in my basement for 15 years. </p>
<p>7) There is a floral warehouse in the DC area where one can get all kinds of flowers, filler, etc. for reasonable prices. Am buying some of the flowers there, roses from Costco, and greenery from our yard.</p>
<p>8) Have made many, many fabric buntings and banners. Started on these in April and am very glad I did so. Also made napkins in their colors instead of renting them. Not cheaper than renting, but I will have a sizeable collection from which to make a quilt afterwards. (I found a wedding blog where the bride did this. Thought it was cool.)</p>
<p>9) Also made ring pillow, bride & groom seat signs with a Doctor Who twist. Got chalkboards for listing ingredients and painted the frames. </p>
<p>10) Am making the veil and tiara. It was surprisingly hard to find loose sequins and seed pearls; the market has dried up since the last time I made a wedding gown. I had some left from my wedding, so that’s the “old.” Have blue seed beads scattered in the lace in the veil, which covers another base. Made a beaded band for the bride’s bouquet.</p>
<p>11) Minted.com has nice invitations for a very reasonable price. This was S’s project. Was stunned to get my Save the Date card address in his (legible!!!) handwriting. I took their engagement photographs and used Photoshop to tweak. They hired a photographer for the wedding, and I will tinker with the shots afterwards.</p>
<p>12) Am doing the programs (fans), table numbers, menu cards here – not shipping them out. There are Etsy folks who will charge $2.50 each for assembled programs; some will design a program and send you a file so you can get it printed at Kinko’s or at home. </p>
<p>13) I am glad I learned calligraphy in high school. Another free service I provide! 
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<p>14) The reason one hires a caterer is that it means: a) you don’t have to think about things like how many glasses for X people for Y hours you’ll need; b) you don’t have to bring oven mitts and a meat thermometer to the wedding; c) you don’t have to purchase lots of “infrastructure” that the rental places don’t provide.</p>
<p>15) I have a 14 page to-do list at this point. This does not include the notebook with who’s arriving when, how long they are staying, and who needs to be picked up. There is also a “Heads and Beds” spreadsheet for who’s staying at the house and where they will be sleeping. Counting sheets, pillows, blankets, air mattresses and cots was also on that to-do list. I also have a command notebook with copies of all contracts and email correspondence.</p>
<p>16) A LOT of S & DIL’s friends have food allergies. Accommodating them has been interesting! </p>
<p>I have had a lot of fun doing this. Have not slept much lately, but that’s life.</p>
<p>What S & DIL decided they didn’t need:</p>
<p>Videographer, transportation to the wedding, bachelor/ette parties, full bar (will have wine), chair covers and sashes (though I rented some sashes to use as decorations), soup-to-nuts photo package, formal engagement pics (I shot those over winter break when we saw them), fancy chairs, engagement party, lighting design, florist, garter toss, diamond engagement ring, sparklers/fireworks/rice/birdseed/bubbles/flower petals for a send-off.</p>
<p>After-party, assuming the many introverts attending are not wiped out by that point, will be in the hotel lobby (this is not a rowdy, drinking group) with simple snacks and the option to walk across the street to the 24-7 IHOP, brunch will be at our house the next day, VERY casual and will not involve cooking. Part of photoshoot will be in the science fiction section of the library across the street from the venue. If we decide to have pics at the park or the Einstein memorial in DC, I will shoot those on Sunday or Monday.</p>
<p>We have enough people for contradancing! Was worried about this, as the band was their big splurge.</p>
<p>Countingdown, it sounds wonderful!! What a great job you have done…</p>
<p>My D and her fiance’ are getting married next March and they both are really busy. So, since DH and I are the old fashioned parents hosting this wedding, I am happily doing pretty much all the leg work for this. My D of course makes decisions about the “look” of things, but it’s my job to carry them out. As she said, she has “her people” to do it! :)</p>
<p>And you are correct: Pinterest IS wedding porn! It’s also handy as a planning tool using “secret” boards. </p>
<p>Blessings to you and your family during this time. You are creating wonderful memories for your son and daughter-in-law, and that is priceless!</p>
<p>Countingdown, I am wowed at what you are doing – what a gift to your S and future daughter-in-law! Can’t wait to hear the after wedding report. Am sure it will be great! Blessings to you all.</p>
<p>My D is being married in her and fiance’s city six hours from us in September. They are handling almost all arrangements (ceremony and reception on the grounds of a museum, required to use museum’s caterer, who fortunately has been great) so my load is relatively light but still I have my lists and agendas. One thing I really enjoyed doing was creating an engagement photos book using Snapfish. There are a lot of creative options available – for example, I could use their wedding color for text and other features. I ordered copies for fiance’s parents, etc. and the engagement photos album, as well as another photo book I had made of photos from their dating history, will be on display at the wedding reception.</p>
<p>Hoping you do build rest time in for yourself. Will be thinking of you and wishing you and your loved ones a lovely day!</p>
<p>I guess I will go ahead and share some of the DIY things I am doing:</p>
<p>-. My own wedding dress is not something my DD could ever wear, but the lace on it is lovely. DD and I both wanted to incorporate it somehow…considered making her dress and using it, but she found a gown she loves and I am glad not to have that pressure. SOOO</p>
<p>-I cut all the lace of the bottom of my gown and have used it to wrap glass hurricane style candle holders (10 of them). These will be used during the ceremony.</p>
<ul>
<li><p>More bits of the lace will be used to wrap the bride’s and bride’s Maids’ bouquets. </p></li>
<li><p>I probably will make the ring bearer’s pillow out of the fabric from my dress and applique more lace onto it;</p></li>
<li><p>I also took a little bit of the lace and beaded and wired it so she can wear it in her hair;</p></li>
<li><p>DD loves the look of gold, not silver. In fact when first considering what sort of “look” she wanted for her wedding, she said she loves candles, lace, gold and flowers. So the tables for the reception will have taupe table cloths with lace over them, small containers of flowers and tea lights. We will have approximately 30 tables, so I thought having a florist provide 30 unique and old-looking gold (or brass) containers for the flowers would be crazy expensive. So I went and found CHEAP (we are talking 2-3 dollars MAX per stem) stemmed glasses or sundae dishes (some are actually acrylic, not glass) and painted them with a really cool gold metallic paint. Then added some dark brown “distressing” —either lightly stippling it on or sponging it. They end up looking like antique gold or brass containers… and they really do look pretty with loose, “organic” arrangements of flowers and greenery in them. So I will just take all these to the florist the week of the wedding.</p></li>
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<p>-The other thing I am doing is keeping a sort of journal of all the things DD and I are doing together as we plan her wedding. Also my thoughts and some photos along the way…dress shopping, the day we picked the venue, etc. I plan to print it out and get it nicely bound somehow and give it to her, probably the day of her wedding. This was an idea given me by the mom of my oldest son’s wife, who is also a dear friend of mine.</p>
<p>Can you all tell I love weddings and LOVE the process of planning my daughter’s? !!</p>
<p>AND wedding threads on CC! :)</p>