<p>" I do believe the benefits are more incremental to the poorer / less represented kid than they are to my comfortable upper middle class want-for-nothing kids who already have social capital to stand them in good stead."</p>
<p>The data agree with you. It’s the kids who don’t already have social capital who benefit the most from what I view as cultural immersion at a top school.</p>
<p>Like a number of others on this thread, we are currently considering this issue . Our son has full tuition offers from a couple of schools that are ranked in the top 50 - 60. He really likes both schools and feels he would be happy there. He is also waiting to hear back from a couple of Ivy league schools, which he also liked a lot. We assume that he will get no merit aid from the Ivies and very little FA (guessing cost of $40,000 per year). We can afford to pay if we must. Beyond the cost, my son is leaning toward the full tuition schools because those schools have demonstrated a real interest in having him attend. They have offered special housing, faculty mentorship, research opportunities, etc.(a big fish in a small pond). At the Ivies, he would get a great education but he would just be another fish in the pond. No idea what his final decision will be but it helps me to read threads like this one. Thanks to everyone for contributing. </p>
<p>midwestblues, there is no merit money at the Ivies. If you qualify for need-based aid, they will likely be among the most generous schools, however, because of their large endowments. They don’t “gap” families the way less well-endowed schools often do. </p>
<p>Another plus if he decides to go to the full-tuition schools is that kids accepted to Ivies and comparable schools typically do well regardless of where they finally end up. Unless he has his heart set on IB or some other very exclusive field, he’ll be fine at that less selective school. And, yes, it’s really nice when those schools make you feel wanted, isn’t it?</p>
<p>Im losing sleep over this…My daughter is accepted at Tulane with a merit scholarship that covers half the annual costs, Grinnell merit that covers almost half…and her favorite - Wellesley for full pay. We wont get FA. Shes still waiting for a few more acceptances but Wellesley has always been her goal. If she would have won one of the full tuition scholarships Tulane gives she had her mind set that shed go there and be happy…but she didnt win.</p>
<p>Is Wellesley that much better than Tulane or Grinnell? We can cover about half to 2/3 of Wellesley oop…the rest would somehow be loans or outside scholarships (knock on wood for something) Tulane & Grinnell would be debt free and Id be sleeping better. Fwiw we are nearest Grinnell but havent seen that school yet. </p>
<p>Grinnell is going to have more in common with Wellesley than Tulane will. Assuming you can visit and like the campus, go to Grinnell. It’s late to start looking for outside scholarships, and most of those are relatively small. Wellesley is a wonderful school, but taking on 100K or more in loans for an undergraduate degree would keep me awake at night, too. </p>
<p>How much is “status” worth? Will graduating from Wellesley mean more?? Will she receive a better education at Wellesley?? I agree that Grinnell is much more similar to Wellesley (& its some of those similarities that trouble me a little) but Grinnell was basically a safety…the college office at her HS said she’s a shoe-in for Grinnell…so getting in was a given…she was very happy and flattered none the less, but last week when she found out she got into Wellesley teachers, guidance counselors, kids…everyone was wowed and excited for her…and their reactions reinforced to her that getting into Wellesley is a big deal. </p>
<p>We visited both Wellesley (last fall so she could interview) and recently Tulane which we both really liked alot. I have a few reservations about Wellesley…I dont want to interject my opinions too much right now because God forbid she follow my favorite and hate it haha…and btw, im not at all adverse to telling her no, we just cannot pull Wellesley off…but im just trying to get a more balanced view of the situation before I guide her in a certain direction. </p>
<p>ChocoChip, no one can really answer your question for you. </p>
<p>Wellesley people will tell you that the prestige opened up all sorts of opportunities for them. They have no idea though what opportunities would have been afforded them if they had gone to another school.
It causes too much internal dissonance to say that they spent $100,000 for something and it wasn’t worth it.</p>
<p>The other problem is that your bucket of money is specific to you. Some people will tell you $100,000 is well worth it. Only you and your spouse know what $100,000 is worth to your family situation. Other people…different size buckets.</p>
<p>In addition each kid is different. Does your childs personality lend itself to taking control and searching out opportunities or is she more of take it as it comes kid? Will she feel bad if she cant afford what other kids have and can do because they come from wealth? </p>
<p>edited to add that those who choose the cheaper school will also convince themselves it was for the better…</p>
<p>chocochip mom…sending my sympathy. we are in a similar situation with a different LAC with > half tuition scholarship vs. prestigious women’s college and no aid. i am all ears. </p>
<p>When we were making decisions we looked at outcomes at the different colleges.</p>
<p>Do kids get into top grad schools?
Are they hired by good companies?
Does the school offer the chance to get prestigious awards?
Is there enough varied research being done that your daughter might find something that really interests her and can get involved in as a freshman.</p>
<p>The other thing you will never know is how much of someones success from these top schools was due to their parents connections and wealth.</p>
<p>This helped us see what was possible.</p>
<p>Thanks 
My mind is a jumbled cluttered mess. I can see her being happy at either Tulane or Wellesley for various reasons. She is a super smart, funny, and intellectual and would probably thrive in an all girl environment…she’s not a drinker or partier at all…Grinnell kind of has a rep for drinking and the location in the middle of pretty much nowhere depresses me…Wellesley is also pretty isolated…She wants to ultimately lobby for the rignts of the disabled and mentally ill…without dumping alot of personal info…she is legally blind…With that in mind I liked the layout of Tulane and its location. Wellesley is so sprawled and a crazy road right thru the middle. But Wellesley seems like some sort of bootcamp that if u make it thru u are set.</p>
<p>I just keep thinking- hopefully -that things will fall into place and work out as they should but that hasnt happened quite yet and the clock is ticking. </p>
<p>Does Wellesley offer any scholarships or merit money once the student enters and does well?</p>
<p>Some schools have additional awards for upperclassmen. Check it out or ask.</p>
<p>I would not consider W isolated. There is a shuttle bus to MIT to facilitate the academic exchange (and many women at W take advantage of cross registering at MIT); there is decent train service to Boston within walking distance, and the shopping right by campus (the Ann Taylor chain stores plus local boutiques) are convenient.</p>
<p>I’m also questioning the description of bootcamp? I know W alum’s (both my generation, i.e. women in their 50’s as well as more recent) and I don’t think any of them would have described it as a bootcamp. It’s a place which takes intellectuals and learning seriously-- but I don’t think of it as competitive or stressful.</p>
<p>What gave you the bootcamp impression?</p>
<p>Blossom, I got that bootcamp impression from reading on these forums lol…And I guess a bit from our visit. It seemed no fun. Lacked any sort of welcoming warmth and a few other things…the dorms, the classrooms, all seemed very old shabby and low tech (Just our impression and it could be wrong im sure as we just spent a day there and im not out to insult anyone…im almost hoping for somebody to say im wrong because my daughter loved it sooo much… but I think part of that love is that she has stars in her eyes and dreams for herself and sees Wellesley as the means to that end) My daughter can be very type A perfectionist…she does that to herself…and I worry about her being in a cut throat competitive type of environment. I want a happy kid. On the other hand Tulane was so friendly, happy, welcoming, dorms were nice, u can walk to fun in minutes…just a different vibe completely. </p>
<p>Do you think an education at Wellesley is far above one at Tulane or Grinnell? Im kind of leaning toward yes myself…but I am concerned about the happy kid factor and the cost. And part of me also thinks education is what you make of it and she is a learner who will do well anywhere. </p>
<p>It is so individual. I was always sorry I chose another college over W, but was very happy to get a job there after grad school. I haven’t been back in years, so I cannot address if it is shabby or not, now. I don’t think it is isolated. The town is lovely. Weekdays are for studying, and there is plenty to do on weekends in Cambridge or Boston.</p>
<p>Some kids absolutely do not want an isolated school. Mine always wanted to be near a city. I don’t enough kids at either Grinnell nor Tulane to offer an opinion.</p>
<p>@consolation went to Wellesley. She might have some insight for you.</p>
<p>ChocoChip, if you’re wavering about paying full price for Wellesley, it would probably behoove your daughter to at least visit Grinnell. </p>
<p>Given Grinnell’s impressive endowment (which clearly your daughter would be a beneficiary of), I find it hard to believe the quality of the education is measurably inferior to Welleseley’s. The SAT scores for the two schools’ 25th-75th percentile students are almost identical (1290-1480 for Wellesley; 1280-1500 for Grinnell) and their admissions’ rates are similar as well (30% vs. 36%). </p>
<p>Does your daughter know what she wants to study? </p>
<p>LucietheLakie, yes we are definitely going to visit Grinnell in the next few weeks. We were invited to their special weekend for the early write acceptances but had a conflict that could not be rescheduled. Grinnell is still a possibility </p>
<p>She is thinking to major in US History. Involvement in music ensembles is a big priority for her wherever she goes. She may wind up minoring in music.</p>
<p>I have seen that acceptance rate.Tulane’s is even lower. I’ve seen it at 27%. She also got into Case Western with a big chunk of merit money - a bit more than Tulane offered. She did not take the SAT - good old College Board would not accommodate her for SAT or PSAT (so she’s not NMF) and even getting accommodations for AP exams is an ordeal. She took ACT as they accommodated her just fine. She got a 34 then a 35. The day the results came in, her first words were “Now I can go to Wellesley!” Grinnell was one I actually found and urged her to apply to as it’s within a day drive vs all others she applied to. Tulane was a safety she applied to because of their letter to her. It was free to apply, no extra essay, and they waved the merit scholarships in front of her, so applying was a no brainer. But we both really loved it when we visited. For all Grinnell’s ginormous endowment, their merit offer was was 7K less than Tulane’s and they padded it with work study money and a govt loan so the bottom line figure we’d be paying looked more appealing…which, I’m not going to lie, kind of turned me off for some reason. </p>
<p>I really am struggling with letting all the generous merit money go to waste. I have never had any trouble telling my kids “NO” before…that’s why I have two terrific kids 
But this is such a huge decision and she has overcome enormous obstacles in her life to get to this point. She’s driven and motivated and wants the best education. And I do think she wants it with a little WOW factor and feels like Wellesley has the combo of that.</p>
<p>Thanks everybody for the feedback. I appreciate it. </p>
<p>I understand completely, ChocoChipMom. It’s tough. We’ll need merit money or sizable financial aid for our son to be able to go to his top choices. In some ways, it’s probably easier that we can’t afford to be full pay at the top privates, so we aren’t forced to make that decision, but I do wish we could just write a check for the school that’s the best fit for him. I’m hoping that, in the end, the best school is one of the schools we can afford! </p>
<p>BTW, I pushed my son to apply to Grinnell, too, but so far he’s not received a decision one way or the other and certainly no merit offer from them. For what it’s worth, the Fiske Guide says their history department is among their academic standouts.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son Lucie Thanks for the replies. Options are good. I know we could have worse decisions to make…ill just be relieved when this all comes together. </p>
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<p>It is a big deal, but it sounds like Tulane and Grinnell with merit are also a big deal. It’s hard to overlook the opinions of others in high school and yet, I think it’s important to do that.</p>