<p>Ah these kids are too hung up on how “THE” school they adore.
My advice: If you don’t end up at your 1st choice, learn to love your other choices.<br>
Cliche: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”
:)) </p>
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<p>Please consider the potential family conflict if you spend all of your money and more (debt) on the first kid and then have to tell the second kid that there is no money left for her.</p>
<p>I think of that all the time. My older daughter needs to start thinking of that and come to a reality check…and its about FIT too.reality is that campus is not the best for a blind girl. its a shame teachers etc keep feeding her dreams and saying 100k in debt after graduating from a school like wellesley is nothing&can be paid back in no time blah blah…and acting disappointed she may not be able to go. </p>
<p>I have a daughter at Wellesley but Grinnell is certainly an equally “worthy” choice IMO. To be honest, your daughter’s need for a campus that accommodates her vision issues would seem to be an overriding factor to everything. Wellesley IS quite hilly, though the road that runs through campus is more restricted to people who have a need to be on campus - not a city thoroughfare. Good luck! </p>
<p>@ChocoChipMom</p>
<p>I would write the teachers and explain the situation with your daughter. Then politely ask them to “chill”. lol</p>
<p>@pizzagirl thanks…yes as a mom safety and happiness are my top concerns…even if we had 65k sitting in the bank right now id have 2nd thoughts about wellesley due to the hills, stairs, disability svc meeting we had etc - its just hard for my daughter to look at the reality that this one time her disability probably is going to factor into this decision. The whole time we toured, id point out concerns and her reply was “ill have a dog” …well another reality check…she may not. </p>
<p>I really secretly wished she wouldnt be accepted to Wellesley. </p>
<p>@ChocoChipMom You sound like a caring mother and a reasonable one at that. I would definitely either talk to the teachers or the school’s principle and ask them to stop souping my child up, when they don’t know her unique family situation.
They say that teachers don’t make enough money. I wonder if the teacher(s) who told your daughter that $100,000 is not a lot and can be pay back in not time, is/are trying to <em>stick</em> it to you. Jealousy???<br>
Why would anyone tell a child that $100,000 is not a lot of money, and disregard loan interest, the job market, family situation??</p>
<p>@LanaHere I honestly dont know why theyd say that type of stuff to her other than they know how excited she was to be acccepted to Wellesley and want her to be able to go (but it makes me feel like loser mom that they all know finances are a part of why she may not be able to go and they r slipping her scholarship info).these are teachers she likes a lot& respects. Then it makes me wonder if they know something I dont… I know we could make it work financially…yes it be very painful and I would lose sleep over it…but I have other considerations too. </p>
<p>Several kids she goes to school with got into grinnell…so i spose to anyone in her school grinnell doesnt have the elite wow that wellesley has …maybe thats a part of it?</p>
<p>Echo those who say Grinnell isn’t enough of a difference to justify high debt for Wellesley.</p>
<p>Not so sure about Tulane though that could be my NE area’s biased perception of it having more of a party school reputation than those two academically elite LACs. </p>
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<p>Sorry, but those parents sound like they’re either very wealthy to the point $100k is a drop in the bucket or they don’t seem to understand the serious implications of having so much debt weighing on the family/student. You would do best to ignore them as they don’t know your financial situation and they may very well be going off their personal financial cliff. </p>
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<p>Back when I was in HS at my public magnet, many classmates were dismissive of Wellesley’s elite status because many were admitted from my graduating class, the GPA/stats of admitted students, and considering there was a libertarian-right political orientation among many students at the time…because Hillary Rodham Clinton attended. </p>
<p>In short, dumb reasons which shouldn’t seriously affect one’s decision to attend…especially considering the backbiting context of such reasons. Especially considering the last point should actually be considered a major plus IMO. </p>
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<p>I’d probably ask those teachers to stop meddling in your family’s financial business.</p>
<p>^^^I’d ask those “teachers etc.” if they’re planning to chip in to pay for DD’s expenses. That should shut them up! ;-)</p>
<p>Re so many kids getting accepted to Grinnell from your D’s school, could that have anything to do with its closer proximity to where you live, and the fact that it’s coed? </p>
<p>Wellesley is a GREAT school. DS goes to college near there and took a math class via cross-enrollment. But based on your info, it has two strikes against it - cost and accessibility. It ver y well may need to come off the list, especially since you have a younger kid too. Certainly many of us would support you in that decision. </p>
<p>I hope you get to take great advantage of the opportunity to visit Grinnell. Your DD could be a “big fish” there, and perhaps that would compensate for some of the sight challenges. Good luck whatever you decide! </p>
<p>We’ve been talking about @sax type story for months in our home. Although we think we can afford our EFC, I’m just wondering if it’s wise. No loans here but I’d love to save the $$ to help w grad work/med school. We cast the net super wide also to have choices in the end. Super inexpensive mid tiers to EFC top tiers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about Alabama. If it weren’t 2 plane rides away, we would’ve visited last month for sure. I love all the Alabama success stories. </p>
<p>I’m baffled that any adult would think $100k in debt is ok. A few yrs ago though, before I was immersed in this subject, I used to tell kids to go for it not realizing how much debt families were taking on. Wow, how naive was I? Shame on me. A note to those teachers is in order. </p>
<p>College decisions are personal and it is whatever your family feels comfortable with. Our family’s goal was to have our kids graduate with no debt and have enough money so we can retire. It worked out for us as both my kids chose the scholarships. We were willing to pay for any in-state school so if they chose to go OOS then they had to have a merit scholarship covering the difference. They both loved the schools they picked and were challenged by the schools. Just because it wasn’t a top 20 school didn’t mean they weren’t challenged!!! </p>
<p>I can’t tell you how many people we know with major debt (student loans). They are carrying $70,000+ in student loans (bachelor & masters) and will be paying it off until they are in the 60’s. I certainly didn’t want that to happen to my kids and it really curtails your choices with such a large debt hanging over your head. </p>
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<p>Sine @Hanna is a better diplomat than I am, let me elaborate. If Grinnell were in New England rather than in the middle of a cornfield in Iowa, everyone here would consider it in the same breath with the NESCAC schools, and I actually found it significantly more impressive than several of those. The facilities are top notch, the faculty is great, and the endowment is close to $1 million per student. More East Coast kids finally seem to be “discovering” the place. </p>
<p>Chocchip - FWIW, we looked at this same decision for our two kids much like others on this thread. Our feeling was that to be accepted and succeed at the top schools, a student needs to be very bright, focused and motivated. With these characteristics, however, we could see no discernable evidence that a few ranking spots in their undergrad university would have any effect on the eventual outcome of their undergrad education (note: kids were not finance or other types where recruitment patterns would matter) I think you will find plenty of this type of student at any of the 3 schools you listed, and anecdotal opinions you get here are not based on sufficient sample size or evidence to make any type of meaningful statement about the relative “quality” of these schools for your particular situation (plus, some people are just biased towards LACs or universities).</p>
<p>So as long as our kids chose colleges/universities where there was a substanital peer group of similarly qualified students, any differences in the “quality” of education they would receive at the top 20-100 type schools would be negligible (and even that range of schools is probably too narrow). This then opened up the school criteria to other things besides prestige, such as location, size, weather, cost, quality of life, music, etc. with the thought that after the ego and emotion of the whole dream school thing, the undergrad years would be most successful if the student’s day-to-day life is happy. It was a tough sell to get our kids to approach this rationally, and it never sunk in with one, but fate took care of it for us (unlike your situation).</p>
<p>My older kid was crushed when he did not get into what he thought was his dream school, but is now extremely happy and successful where he ended up, and grateful he was “forced” by circumstances to be there. My younger son turned down athletic slots at Ivy and higher Nescac schools (mom and dad’s dream schools) due to non-academic/prestige criteria and is now extremely happy to be choosing from great schools (including Tulane and some NMF schools) that offered him tons of merit money and the social and other qualities he wanted.</p>
<p>The moral of all this is that I think your daughter will be equally well-served academically at any of these schools. Only you can answer the money question, but I would caution not to rely on your investments increasing as part of any short-term financial plan.</p>
<p>I love what this student had to say about finding her ‘fit’ in an unexpected place. <a href=“"Falling in Love with my Safety School" - Applying to College - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1532205-falling-in-love-with-my-safety-school.html</a></p>
<p>Thank you all…its helping to relieve my guilt…because I do have some.</p>
<p>@Hen4763 I loved that article.thanks for the link. Kind of ironic too because I made her apply to fordham based on mailings they sent us re scholarships but she was/is adamant that she doesnt want to go to a catholic school (we are catholic btw lol) so she hasnt even logged into her account there…I think she was turned off though becuz they waived the $50 application fee for her, then after she applied kept hounding her incessantly in emails to pay the fee lol. Im going to send her that article. 
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<p>her new wellesley selling point is about alumni connections…how fabulous they are at wellesley vs tulane or grinnell…she thinks shed be guaranteed a job post graduation. ??? </p>
<p>@ChocoChipMom, sorry if you have already answered this question before, but Wellesley has not sent out its FA to admitted students yet, why do you say you are full-pay to Wellesley? Did not you apply for Wellesley’s FA? If you did, you might get surprise from Wellesley.</p>
<p>@Txhandan, u r right…we did the fafsa and css…and everyone else that replied so far said sorry youre not eligible for any need based aid at the moment type thing…so maybe I am jumping the gun. I assumed we’d be full pay at wellesley too…and also based on their “the affordable wellesley” brochure with the 4 examples of family situations they gave…I believe a family of 4, with a 127k income (its been a few months since I saw this, so im not positive on the income but I thnk im close) was at full pay. </p>