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<p>She was teaching the children to be successful in the environment in which they were living. We expect boys from cultures where women are second class citizens to react with equal politeness and respect to both male and female teachers while they are in this country, dont we?
Besides, it’s also quite possible that he picked it up from hearing the other kids say it, just like regional accents.</p>
<p>Is anyone a fan of the show Castle on ABC? The new boss insists on being called sir</p>
<pre><code> - a female boss who corrects people to say sir everytime someone says ma’am.
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<p>Sure - I get that; my midwestern-born and raised kids say some words differently from how I do. However, to me there’s a difference between, say, saying pop instead of soda, or sprinkles instead of jimmies, or water fountain instead of bubbler – all things which are just merely charming regional differences – and saying sir / ma’am. I don’t think a lot of southerners really hear what we’re saying, which is that we find it downright rude to us to be addressed as sir/ma’am by our own kids. It makes a kid sound mouthy and disrespectful, or a little too Beaver Cleaver and ingratiating. I can “excuse” it if I know the kid is from the south and was raised that way, but I wouldn’t want my <em>own</em> kid sounding like that if I can help it.</p>
<p>So here’s my honest question, since (come to think of it) none of my clients are in the southeast (with the exception of Jacksonville, FL - but it’s a subsidiary of a company headquartered in the Northeast, so a lot of transplants). Would it really be appropriate for, say, one of my twentysomething employees to call a client “ma’am” or “sir” in the workplace? I can’t picture it.</p>
<p>Speaking of cultural variations, it was the norm where I was raised for kids to address adults (even completely unrelated ones) as uncle and auntie or, less frequently, grandpa and grandma. eg. if you were walking on the street and something fell out of your pocket, a stranger kid who saw this would say, “Uncle, you dropped something”, to alert you. (Wives didn’t call their husbands by name either, but that’s another story). </p>
<p>Needless to say it causes confusion in racially/culturally mixed gatherings when a dozen kids refer to the same two adults as auntie and uncle. In these circumstances, I typically went as “Mr G” to all the kids, and some adults too, who didn’t have to remember my name or pronunciation.</p>
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That’s because up north “sir” in addition to being a distancing word, as Pizzagirl explained, it’s also a way to emphasize the pecking order in the hierarchy. “Ma’am” doesn’t cut it.</p>
<p>I don’t think there’s anything wrong with learning the rules of the local culture, but I agree with Pizzagirl, if my kids were to use sir or ma’am it would sound snarky, not respectful.</p>
<p>Of course it’s o.k.! I’m surprised you view it so negatively.</p>
<p>Honest question: What’s wrong with or disrespectful about “Yes, Dad,” or “Yes, Mrs. Smith”? What is the purpose of the sir and the ma’am when you already know the person’s name?</p>
<p>mathmom - is it common for a woman to be expected to be called sir because of their position?</p>
<p>Good grief, I’m 46 and “ma’am” just makes me feel really, really, old. Look, if I dropped my glove and others needed to call my attention to it, people would say, “Excuse me, miss, you dropped your glove.” Ma’am is about as old-fashioned as they come, and means that I’d better look into some Botox, PDQ :-). You’ve got to be my 92 yo grandmother’s age to get ma’am!</p>
<p>Recently had this conversation. My wife and I were talking to a very nice young lady (late 20s) who repeatedly responded “yes ma’am” to my wife’s questions. I told her she was making my wife feel real old by saying “ma’am” to which she replied, “It’s a southern thing.”</p>
<p>I just got back from Alabama and heard yes ma’am at least 300 times before I left the airport with my rental car !</p>
<p>Does anyone remember the Sen Boxer/General-someone “ma’am” incident? Geography definitely gives maam a 180 degree difference.</p>
<p>While I do hear “sir” and “m’am” more here in the south than in the north (and I have now spend more than half my life in the south) I would not say it is really “common” or “frequent” here.</p>
<p>fauxmaven… yep still very strong here in alabama. my kids said ma’am and sir all through school. my poor kids must be so mixed up :)…we came from canada where it is not said…and with family friends use the uncle and aunt. I am called ma’am all the time, dont see anything negative about it, just what is common for here</p>
<p>This may be politically incorrect, but the use of sir / ma’am also makes me think of what a black maid had to call the master / mistress of the household. Very subservient.</p>
<p>But it is also common/routine in the military. Yes, it is a reference to rank, but it is clearly colorblind.</p>
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No not at all. Women up north don’t expect to be called sir or ma’am normally. But in a military or quasi-military organization like the police, yes I think, it very common for women to prefer sir in situations where you’d be saying “Yes sir!” to a male boss.</p>
<p>Anyone here watch “Castle”? Kate Beckett roputinely calls the female tough-as-nails medical examiner (Lanie Parish) “sir”. Cracks me up.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - I think the teacher wanting my S to say sir and ma’am was a cultural learning experience for both of us. I’m sure I’ve had students whose parents wished I had required their children to say sir and ma’am in my classroom, but I don’t. Also, I have never felt the use of sir and ma’am being connected to color. It’s just part of the southern culture. It doesn’t bother me. Anyway, over the years my kids have had very few teachers who are native to the south. My boys’ speech is a melting pot of many regions.</p>