@wellspring I could have written your post! My son always struggled; we overstepped I"m sure many times. Our daughter rarely asks for help and it a great student. S has gotten better - he’s a sophomore in college doing much better than he did in HS, but I still worry every day about him academically!
My husband teaches in the district where my daughter goes to high school. Now that she’s into Chem and Alg2, she does occasionally ask for his help on something she doesn’t get, but she doesn’t like to ask for help. Ironic, since my husband probably makes more than his annual salary in tutoring fees. Does hiring a tutor to help count?? My daughter is in the clear minority by not having a tutor.