<p>We’ve always worked to support our kids in their reaching out to available resources to resolve issues, discuss options, etc., rather than doing it for them. Starting in elementary school, we’ve coached them on how to appropriately and respectfully approach teachers with questions on grading or to ask for help. By high school, they are/were mostly self-sufficient, although we still talk about best approaches for getting help or self-advocating, even with the one in college. The younger is a HS senior now, and we have met with a GC once ever (for a specific issue with the older child where we all met together).</p>
<p>I remember one of our first experiences when we had a different opinion than one of our kids about “course selection” and it was in elementary school. Our child wanted to be pulled out of class four times a week so she could participate in both orchestra and band, and we didn’t agree. As there are no GCs in fifth grade, we coached our shy kiddo about getting input from two academic teachers. She nervously followed through and came home (to our surprise!) with support from the teachers, including a plan how they would help monitor her and intervene if it turned out to be too much. Our parental takeaway was that sometimes our kids and their teachers work out very good approaches without our intervention, so we should give them that chance. </p>
<p>In high school, both our kids met directly with their GC as needed. The senior talks to hers a lot because she has a complicated schedule (recommended by GC), is taking an online course (suggested by the GC), needed a fair number of recommendation letters (school has standard “brag sheet” kids fill out to help GCs with this), and is applying for a national award (requiring extra work from GC). The GC supports about 250 kids (2000 in school and 8 GCs), and my daughter’s treatment is not “special” - but the kids do need to seek any help they need above routine (the GC will reach out to every child periodically for discussions about course selection and completion of college recommendations, etc). I do know parents at our school that routinely call or meet with a GC, but this approach has worked for us. Of course, your mileage may vary as all kids and GCs are different!</p>