<p>zoosermom: Is it your belief that we should never give to beggars? Because sometimes it may perpetuate a cycle of abuse?</p>
<p>It is interesting to me how many believe beggars are making a good living. That is a pretty good reason not to give.</p>
<p>So, some “cross-cultural” input:</p>
<p>In village India, the beggar plays an essential role in community affairs. No wedding or other rite of passage can be accomplished without acknowledging and providing for the local beggar(s) - it would be thought to be extremely inauspicious. In fact, lack of beggars, in certain communities, can be a real problem. In the Dalit (“untouchable”) community in which my Indian “mother” grew up, after dinner and before going to work in the morning, all cooked “white foods” - rice, yoghurt, milk, eggs - had to be given away before other tasks could be taken on. Women would literally stand by the side of the road waiting for beggars to arrive early in the morning so that this duty could be fulfilled before going to the fields to work. A beggar was supposed to be present at the naming ceremony for a baby. And the monks would go about with “beggar’s bowls” - they couldn’t accept money (there wasn’t a lot of cash in the economy anyway - it wasn’t a matter of people giving food rather than cash); only cooked food, and it would be inauspicious not to provide. (This is not instead of “giving to charity” - one was also supposed to give to the caste society for the upkeep of widows, orphans, and the sick). </p>
<p>The national Tamil myth revolves around the story of Manimegalai, the daughter of a courtesan, and a beggar, whose “magic bowl” eventually saves the entire kingdom. </p>
<p>It was a very peaceful society, of which remnants still remain.</p>
<p>If somebody steals painkillers from his parents it is not the parents’ fault. Is it their fault if he steals and crashes the family car? Most parents do not want to live their lives with anything potentially dangerous kept under lock and key.
I give to one street guy when he is out. He has obvious medical problems but is always very nice when he can make it to his corner at the James and I-5 NB exit.</p>
<p>If a 13-year-old receives 90 days worth of painkillers from a dentist (for two days of pain) and the parents don’t supervise their use, and don’t dispose of them properly when the episode passes, it is the parents’ fault. If the parent has a large supply of prescription opiates in the home, knows of the risks attached to their use, and knows that abuse of these drugs is going on in neighborhood schools, and doesn’t make an effort to keep them away from teens, it is the parents’ fault. If a doctor doesn’t inform a patient in intermittent pain of the dangers of large amounts of opiates, and continues to prescribe higher amounts without a pain consultation, the doctor is at fault. If a doctor doesn’t check the statewide Prescription Monitoring Program before prescribing opiates, he can be held both civilly and criminally liable (this is developing case law: first state up to bat is Kentucky).</p>
<p>And your post, mini, makes it very clear why our family dentist did not think my comment about the whole family sharing DD’s prescription after her wisdom teeth extraction was funny.;)</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>How would this get by the pharmacist? Even if it did, how would it get by the insurance company?</p>
<p>BTW, I’ve had wisdom teeth taken out, root canals and lots of fillings and crowns. I didn’t take anything other than aspirin or tylenol before or afterwards for the wisdom teeth and root canal. The fillings and crowns? There isn’t enough pain to bother with painkillers, OTC or prescription. What are these dentists doing that causes even two days of pain?</p>
<p>I think thae 3o-day supply was an exaggeration, but two or three days is appropriate. When a kid has all four wisdom teeth removed at once, it can be pretty uncomfortable. It also depends on where the teeth are and how much digging and prying they have to do. it is not the same for everyone. I drove myself home when I had mine out.</p>
<p>My parents kept a large supply of very sharp knives in the house. Nobody ever got stabbed. If your kids are stealing from you there are bigger issues.
There already is a large pushback happening on the Washington pain killer control laws. They won’t last long. Many people have severe chronic pain and need strong meds to function daily. And they do not want to take methadone.</p>
<p>Our state is debating a bill to create a database of people and the drugs that they are prescribed to prevent people from getting multiple prescriptions from multiple doctors. Apparently this sort of thing already exists in a lot of other states. It seems to me that it wouldn’t be hard to do the data analysis to determine where investigation into over-prescription is warranted.</p>
<p>Of course I’m not a fan of the huge privacy problems that these databases create.</p>
<p>“How would this get by the pharmacist? Even if it did, how would it get by the insurance company?”</p>
<p>Happens all the time. I have hundreds of stories that would curl your hair. </p>
<p>You are referring to the Prescription Monitoring Programs. They exist in about 40 states now. The point is not a “gotcha” for docs (though they will be used that way in lawsuits, as they are now in Kentucky. The impact of that will be that docs will feel obligated to use the database - a good thing!) The point is to get docs to actually look at what the patient is already receiving. It will also help docs prevent against adverse drug interactions. </p>
<p>“If your kids are stealing from you there are bigger issues.”</p>
<p>Doesn’t have to be your kid. Your kids’ friends could do it. If you keep a loaded gun around, and your son or your son’s friend happens to use it, guess who is responsible (for not keeping it out of harm’s way)? And this is true even if “most” kids’ friends didn’t pick up and use the loaded gun (or steal it, sell it, and then someone else uses it.)</p>
<p>Not true. Most states do not hold owner liable in cases of a stolen gun later used in a crime. Even when not locked away.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>I work in data warehousing software and my son is pretty good with data mining.</p>
<p>What I expect to see is university researchers slicing and dicing the data to spot
a variety of problems with this data. I also expect abuse of the data given the
relative widespread access available to medical professionals.</p>
<p>“Not true. Most states do not hold owner liable in cases of a stolen gun later used in a crime. Even when not locked away.”</p>
<p>Why do you confuse “crime” with “responsibility”???</p>
<p>“I also expect abuse of the data given the
relative widespread access available to medical professionals.”</p>
<p>Perhaps. They’ve existed in 40 states, many for quite some time now. That hasn’t been a problem so far, though it certainly could. (The problem so far is doctors’ failure to use it. Now that there are lawsuits about what the doctor “should have known”, I think that will be changing fairly rapidly.)</p>
<p>
No, but I think it’s good to assess the situation. I won’t give cash when I see someone in the same spot every day. I will give food and call the local social services group. If it is a woman begging with a man lurking, I don’t give money and I call the police every day.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>By this, do you assume that all beggars have bank accounts? If not, what percentage do? And how do you tell the difference when you see them on the street?</p>
<p>
You can’t–and I think this explains some of the difference in views and approach we see here. If you’re a methodical person who thinks in terms of budgeting, then you are more likely to think in terms of giving to charities rather than to individuals. If you are less methodical, then you are more likely to think in terms of dealing with each individual. It’s not easy–I also think that you can get burned out if there are a lot of aggressive or scammy-seeming beggars where you live.</p>
<p>And then there are those that do both, which logically seems like the best thing to do since it has been acknowledged that many of the homeless operate outside of the “system”. </p>
<p>Organized giving would never reach them.</p>
<p>Getting burned by aggressive and scammy seeming types?^^^ </p>
<p>I associate that more with our more legitimate members of society!</p>
<p>Never . And not just because I rarely carry cash , but I doubt that food is what they are hungry for. I have however given food and been thanked for it
I had several dozen bagels that were left over from a fund raiser that my husband and I founded. I was approached by a woman in the parking lot of my local DMV and she told me she was trying to feed her family. I told her I don’t have cashe\ but I did have the bagels and she was more than welcome to have them all. She took them and was genuinely grateful for them. I think she really WAS trying to make ends meet , unlike so many other beggars
I was brought up to not give money to beggars by my hard working, single head of household mother.
Food is another matter though…that I can always find a way to help with</p>
<p>Hmm. How about this for a procedure–offer food, and if it is accepted, then offer some money as well.</p>
<p>
That’s logistically difficult unless you’re on a mission specifically to give food to them since most people aren’t randomly carrying food in their cars when the beggars, who are often begging from median strips or intersection corners, are soliciting drivers for money. It’s difficult to randomly give food to the sidewalk beggars as well since most people aren’t carrying food with them down the sidewalk.</p>
<p>Maybe it varies with the locale but almost all of the beggars I encounter simply want money - they’re simply beggars and scammers preying on the good-hearted folks like some of the posters on this thread who think they’re actually helping the beggars when in fact they may be hurting them in the long run.</p>
<p>But maybe some of the beggars consider their begging as providing a ‘service’ - they provide a means for some people to feel better about themselves for having given cash to the beggar despite regardless of whether the beggar is lying to them about their situation or the use of the money.</p>