Do You Like Your Neighborhood?

Parent Cafe
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<p>We originally chose this house/neighborhood for it’s physical properties. Lots big enough for privacy, but not too big. Great schools, library, parks and shopping area within walking distance. A big must was being able to walk to a good espresso. World Class biking from our front door. If you keep the windows open at night all you hear is the birds in the morning.</p>

<p>What we found as a huge plus was the community. People are friendly, and helpful, and there for you. Neighbors all know each other and watch out for each other. Every walk downtown I run into people I know. And when tragedy strikes, people pull together and envelope you into a truly loving cocoon. My husband died last Feb. and I’m not sure what I would have done without the community pulling together to care for me and my family. I still get hugs from folks when I’m out for walks. </p>

<p>With my oldest away at college, and my youngest in high school, the house is beginning to feel very large, but I can’t imagine moving away.</p>

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<p>No! We bought this house because we had to get our stuff out of the house we had sold (H’s job change to a different state), and after eight months of looking, it worked for us and our largish furniture. However, the town is more sports oriented than arts, there is no way to walk anywhere, and the neighbors are friendly if you see them, but after four years, still have never met woman across the street…she drives next door to see her mom, not an in the yard kind of person to whom you can call out…and the lots are not that big, just bigger than half an acre each. We should have lived in city where we could walk places and catch the train, or in a university town…bummer.</p>

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<p>I get the impression that few others had our experience. In '81 (20% down payment required, 18% interest rates) we moved to this neighborhood, comprised mostly of people with older kids and retirees. Very gradually we’ve seen some of the retirees move out and some younger families move in, but kids weren’t plentiful when D was young. Thank heaven a family w/younger kids moved in next door for several years. Except for that neighbor, I never knew another stay-at-home mom. My other neighbor raised 7 kids; she says that only 3 families that she befriended while her kids were growing up remain in the neighborhood today.</p>

<p>Trees are mature; I love my cottonwood. Neighborhood attends an ethnically diverse HS; a few people left this neighborhood for that reason, and those that remain are nice and not snobs. That and the good access to a variety of highways without bad local traffic are the pluses. Now H works an hour from here, and w/D leaving HS we’re talking of moving closer to his work and our families, but D doesn’t want to leave! In sum, it’s a nice neighborhood in a nice location, and we could do far worse, but your stories make me a little wistful for more community.</p>

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<p>^ Treetopleaf, it is possible that the feeling of community will evolve. When we first moved into our house 20 years ago, we were the token young couple among many much older original owners. These people told us that at one time they had socialized a lot (had a daily neighborhood cocktail hour at rotating houses!) but for some reason all that had died down. There were no other young kids and little socializing. Those original owners have now mostly moved on and have been replaced by new families who are enthusiastic about doing neighborhood things. Some are young families, but others are middle-aged like we are. The new people brought vitality to the neighborhood after many years of it being in the doldroms. Perhaps this will happen in your area.</p>

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<p>I like my neighborhood. It’s in New England (aren’t you jealous, pugmadkate and lspf? ha ha), about 20 miles outside Boston. It’s homogenous but that’s ok; we all moved in 15 years ago when it was built and we all pretty much have the same floor plan. My street has the oldest kids; there are a lot of high school, middle school and elementary kids around. Nice friendly neighbors, our kids are the same age so we have a lot in common. We can count on each other if we need things. Downside- we have to drive to get anywhere. DH used to take the train to commute into Boston, but now he works at home. I work locally.</p>

<p>While I like our neighborhood, I’m of mixed feelings about the town. It’s a nice mix of white and blue collar, but racially homogenous. Worse, there is a large vocal element of “townies” that make no bones about the fact that the rapid growth of the past 20 years has “ruined” their little town and driven up their taxes. They are rapidly becoming outnumbered and losing power which makes them even more angry and negative. They can be counted on to come out and vote against anything involving the schools, (they think all us newcomers are spoiled and want our kids to have the <em>best</em> of everything, while all we want is the average of what the rest of the state has) and as a result our once-vaunted school system is in a rapid downhill slide. I could give more details, but suffice it to say I can’t get my 11th grader out of this hs fast enough. I’ve told people with kids in middle schools to look at private school; I don’t see our hs situation improving any time soon (I work in the schools so I see what is happening). Frankly, the new neighborhoods were built on land that was sold to local developers by townies who owned it, so I don’t see how they can complain. I’ve lived in the area over 20 years and both my kids were born here; however I will <em>never</em> be considered local, and I don’t think my kids will be <em>good enough</em> for the townies either. But the “new” people in town are great, and as I said we’re taking over!</p>

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<p>We have lived in many places over the years, three main geographic areas and various homes in each place. I guess I am an ‘in the moment’ person as I found things I liked about each place.</p>

<p>We lived the longest in the country on acreage and when I first moved to a small town from SoCal I had to learn to become accustomed to different styles and no shopping. I shed that shallower self quickly, though I still stay I could get better deals with tons of shopping around.</p>

<p>We raised our kids on property in the country on a gravel road, but only 1-2 miles from their school and a nice neighborhood with a local pool and lake and lots of friends. The small local grocery store and a few other necessities covered most needs within 15 minutes allowing less frequent trips to ‘town’ 30 minutes away.</p>

<p>My kids have gone to university in bigger cities, SoCal and the Bay area and they all prefer the small town, more rural lifestyle.</p>

<p>I have lived in neigborhoods and not and what I like about my current home is that of the 15 homes on our end of the block only 3 of us are full time, the rest are second homes. I get all the privacy of living in the country without having to maintain acreage and still get the flurry and activity of neighbors sometimes. I am in email contact with half a dozen second homers so we develop a relationship, connect when they are here, watch over their places when they are not, and yet still have that privacy to which we became accustomed in 10-15 years out in the country.</p>

<p>No sidewalks, nearest emergency groceries 10-15 minutes away, real stores 20-30 minutes away and "town’ 30-40 minutes away. But gorgeous trees, nature-bald eagles, blue herons ducks, geese, raccoons, coyotes, etc; stars, ocean, a 1000 acre area with old logging roads to walk the dog.</p>

<p>I do think the property taxes with no limit on increases are scary and wonder about that for long term planning.</p>

<p>As to diversity, no place has been as diverse as SoCal where i knew people from 20-30 countries easily, but our area has some interesting diversity, one local high school has issues between not really gangs, but strong ethnic groupings of Hispanics, Tribal kids, and Russian kids who some times have issues with each other and apparently one must have their locker in the proper ehtnic area! There is a very large nearby Asian population and a smattering of ‘everything’ else, but one does not have to go far inland to come across enclaves of nearly all one ethnicity in farming communities settled a hundred years ago or more by a group from an particular area, very interesting.</p>

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<p>I live in a small town in Central Massachusetts (pop.–5,000), so I don’t really have a neighborhood. All of the homes in my area are zoned for 1.5 acre lots. There are very few places where one can see his/her neighbors. Many homes in my town sit at the end of long driveways on mostly wooded lots. We don’t even have sidewalks. It sounds like people would be isolated, but there’s a great sense of community. During a recent ice storm and power outage people were checking on one another and those with power offered shelter to those without. There’s a town common at the center of town with a small store, the schools (small system with strong academics–about 1200 kids in K-12), and several churches. We’ve also got a museum in our town and lots of conservation land and a huge pond that provides great summer recreation for kids–swimming lessons, sailing, canoeing, etc. Tons of community organizations for kids and adults and a beautiful, new library. My H and I moved here from the midwest and we’d not go back. Our kids grew up here and I wouldn’t be surprised if they moved back here to raise families.</p>

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<p>I love our neighborhood in southern Ct…it’s so unlike the “bubble” I grew up in. My old neighborhood was mainly Italian and no one seemed to want that to change . My children grew up in a larger city, but suburban-type street with so many different and diverse neighbors. In grade school, they knew about customs of India, Africa and Hasidic Jews by playing and talking to neighbors. Watching our neighbor build a sukka for Sukkot taught more than a book could. It also had a nice blend of older and younger families.Everyone was very friendly despite stereotypes and they learned from observing and interaction which helped them form opinions that they hold today.</p>

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<p>The best community I lived in was not a neighborhood. We lived all over a huge Asian city, but the focus was on the school and through that community we supported one another through bomb threats, tragic deaths borne of terrorism, horrible sadness of young people dying. The community had strength due to an ability to incorporate the beliefs of many without judgment, an encompassing, spontaneous and flexible communication style and the recognition that we are only as good as we are to each other.</p>

<p>The worst community I lived in was a suburban neighborhood of houses which had facades of affluence and conformity. I won’t name names because I know that for some this is the ‘dream.’ My experience was different. We were judged by the window coverings I chose, by the plants we selected for our front garden and mostly for our lack of affiliation to the chosen house of worship. Free thinking was discouraged and discussion unwelcome. Children were judged and recognized for every imaginable (non) accomplishment. Fortunately, this community’s only tragedy was itself as it possessed none of the strengths of the other.</p>

<p>Be grateful for the unexpected strengths that come in the least likely of places. We ran from the ‘worst’ after 2 years and have never looked back.</p>