<p>Marite - same problem here with the 20 minutes for lunch! So she buys once a week and I make the rest of the time - If she doesn’t eat it (infrequent) it definitely comes home and I don’t fuss about it. Favorites are quesadillas made in the am and heated in the microwave at school, leftover fettucini alfredo, turkey and provolone rolled together with toothpicks, chicken caesar salads, yogurt, mozzarella sticks, fruit salads, carrots with ranch dressing.</p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for sharing your points of view on this. I guess I was half hoping you all would resoundingly tell me to stop babying my D and let her make her own darn lunch. But since this study was inconclusive, I guess I’ll do it for 9 more months. She works hard at school, has meetings at lunch several days a week and her school is not near a wide variety of eating establishments. The ones nearby have long lines of her fellow students and getting back to class on time is stressful. I will however, try hard to really appreciate being able to contribute to her sustenance for what little time I have left with her under my wing. At least she knows what a healthy lunch is and hopefully will carry that with her.</p>
<p>Yep, I’ve been making lunches for 16 years (counting pre-school). I made lunch while they were eating breakfast so we could talk or study spelling words. And this way I knew they’d get fruit in their lunch.</p>
<p>They only have 22 minutes for lunch, lines are long and the food is, if not inedible, very very bad. They can’t leave campus either. I will definitely miss making lunches in 2 years.</p>
<p>I definitely miss my kids (college freshman and senior), but I do not miss making their lunches. They refused to buy their lunches from the cafeteria since elementary school, and, in my daughter’s case, she did not have a lunch period in high school because she took an extra elective and she ate in class.
Each of my kids brought the same thing for lunch pretty much every day, so making the lunches was mindless (son - turkey sandwich, apple, tastycake. daughter - bagel or pbj, orange juice, carrots and dip or pinapple cup, fruit snacks) but I will not miss doing it!</p>
<p>
OK. Quit babying your D. and let her make her own darn lunch! 
Of course you can do what you want – if it makes you feel good, make the lunch. But I’m the one who has been letting my kids fend for themselves for breakfast & lunch since they were tykes - I supply the fixings, but they have to put it together. I’m not entirely heartless - from time to time I have offered to make them lunch, and if a kid was running late and said “please” - then I was happy to pitch in to put it all together. It’s just that it was always their responsibility, not mine. </p>
<p>I think the rule should be: if a parent enjoys doing it for their kids, then by all means do it. But if the parent starts feeling resentful, then the kids should make their own lunch - or perhaps the family can work out a schedule to share the job. (Same with every other household task - if you are feeling put upon, like you end up doing all the grunge work for everybody while they go out and party – it’s time to speak up and ask for help). </p>
<p>In a family there are many things we do out of love that we are happy to do. But parents are not the personal servants of their kids - you shouldn’t be making lunch for a middle schooler or high schooler with the false rationalization that they are too busy with all their schoolwork to take 5 minutes to put together a sandwich. They can find the time. So if you are sick of doing it… just say so.</p>
<p>In our family, both kids buy lunch. I’ve always had the ingredients for them to make lunch, but they’ve always declined. I’ve also always told them they could save the money I give them for buying school lunch by making their own, but I think the social aspects of school lunch & eating are very important to them. I give both of them money & they make it last until they get more. It has worked for us all these years and now they’re in 10th & 12th grade & none of us wants to change the plan.
I pack them breakfast to eat in the car if they’re running late & they always have a nutritous hot meal at home.
Both are very good students and have lean athletic builds. Unfortunately, no one is dangling athletic scholarships at them, but perhaps academic ones. <grin>
HImom</grin></p>
<p>YoMama–there is a compromise on making your D lunch. You can buy very healthy stuff that just requires being thrown in a bag. Lunch does not HAVE to be a sandwich. It can be cheese, crackers, an apple, a little bag of carrots or snow peas, and a few squares of chocolate. In fact, that was my daughter’s favorite middle school lunch to take (she went to boarding school for high school, which made lunches a moot point). (D was fond of a hunk of parmesan and gnawed at it like a mouse. S preferred a few slices of roast beef in a baggie.)</p>