<p>Honestly, we always tell D she’s our favorite D & S he’s our favorite S. D finally said in college that it’s not a very competitive position. LOL! Glad we have just the two and love them both madly!</p>
<p>My siblings and I have talked about this as adults and we ALL think we were the favorite. I guess my parents did a decent job of making us each feel extra special when we needed it most.</p>
<p>There is a terrific poem that is based on that thought but I can’t find it. It says something like “when you fell and scraped your knee and I comforted you, I loved you the most” (or you were my favorite, etc.) then “when so and so had her heart broken by a boy and she cried in my arms I loved her the most”. I’m making these up, but you get the point. It really made sense to me with regard to my own kids - the one that needs me the most at any given time is temporarily “the favorite”.</p>
<p>Thank goodness I finally found it or I would have been up all night!</p>
<p>My Favorite Child – by Erma Bombeck.</p>
<p>Every mother has a favorite child. She cannot help it. She is only human. I have mine –the child for whom I feel a special closeness, with whom I share a love that no one else could possibly understand. My favorite child is the one who was too sick to eat ice cream at his birthday party – who had measles at Christmas – who wore leg braces to bed because he toed in – who had a fever in the middle of the night, the asthma attack, the child in my arms at the emergency ward.</p>
<p>My favorite child spent Christmas alone away from the family, was stranded after the game with a gas tank on E, lost the money for his class ring. </p>
<p>My favorite child is the one who messed up at the piano recital, misspelled committee in a spelling bee, ran the wrong way with the football, and had his bike stolen because he was careless. </p>
<p>My favorite child is the one I punished for lying, grounded for insensitivity to other people’s feelings, and informed he was a royal pain to the entire family. </p>
<p>My favorite child slammed the doors in frustration, cried when she didn’t think I saw her, withdrew and said she could not talk to me. </p>
<p>My favorite child always needed a haircut, had hair that wouldn’t curl, had no date for Saturday night, and a car that cost $600 to fix. My favorite child was selfish, immature, bad-tempered, and self-centered. He was vulnerable, lonely, unsure of what he was doing in the world, and quite wonderful.</p>
<p>All mothers have their favorite child. It is always the same one: the one who needs you at the moment. Who needs you for whatever reason – to cling to, to shout at, to hurt, to hug, to flatter, to reverse charges to, to unload on – but mostly just to be there.</p>
<p>Tears (10)</p>
<p>I love Erma Bombeck & always have. She is so good at articulating the life of a loving parent. :)</p>
<p>Since I’m an only child and my daughter is an only child, I don’t have experience with this. There were some times in my life when I felt that although my parents loved me, they didn’t necessarily like me; not a fun feeling.</p>
<p>I do however have a favorite dog. And I overcompensate with the other one to hide that. Which is ridiculous because they’re dogs and it shouldn’t matter, but I have this compulsion to be “fair”.</p>
<p>It did always make me crazy and I tried to point out to the JR leaders in our summer day camp that it was NOT fair to show blatant favoritism. I did my best to keep things even-handed but some of the JR leaders were bound and determined to have their “pets.” </p>
<p>I always hated it when teachers showed blatant favoritism and/or made certain kids the “goat.” It seemed bad for everyone and never seemed that great for the kids who weren’t selected for those roles either. It always made me think less of the teacher (or others who put people in those roles).</p>
<p>One of the people my brother dated wanted to make young D a “pet,” and tried to bribe her several times but D was repelled by the thought & by extension, by her. Fortunately the woman moved on & found someone who enjoyed being cossetted by her.</p>
<p>I do understand and ID with Erma. Most parents do try to make the favorite whomever is neediest at the time. Some kids take it to the extreme & try to keep being needy to keep the role of the favorite well into adulthood and beyond. I find that very sad, but some folks find it hard to get beyond whatever role they had when they were a child, especially in dealing with their families.</p>