<p>Each kid’s and each family’s situation with regard to this issue differs. The thought of making my D tell me her grades or asking her, has not come up. The reason is because she TELLS us because she WANTS to. It is not so much checking up on her as much as both our interest and care about her as well as her strong desire to share her life with us. I am not saying this circumstance is the one for everyone, it just is ours. I have not asked her any grades but she has shared each one so far pretty much. In fact, I recall a phone call one day this semester, where I was walking downtown in a small city when my D called my cell with enormous excitement and ethusiasm with “guess what MOM!, I am so happy I had to call you!” and she went on to tell me the grades she got on some initial papers she had gotten back in her first semester of college. She calls home about every three days and shares what is going on in her life at school, in all areas of college life. The sharing of how she is doing with grades is just one thing she chooses to share. So, it has not occurred to me to have to make her tell us or anything like that. We have always shared this stuff and taken an interest in these facets of their lives. Our only expectation is to do the best they can. </p>
<p>IF my D had not chosen to share her grades as she went along, I think that would be ok but I would want to see official semester report cards because it is a part of their lives I think parents should connect over and not in a threatening way but more out of care and interest in their lives. I can’t imagine my kids telling me I could not see the report card so I don’t know how I would feel in some situations described here. I think since we are supporting her education, it is reasonable to see reports from school over performance. Maybe it is because we don’t have “threats” connected to performance, that this is a nonissue. I am not sure. Sharing grades and how school is going is how we have always done things so it really is a nonissue here. If I thought my child was not working up to his/her potential, I would talk about my expectations of improving or whatever the issue might be. </p>
<p>Susan</p>