<p>Patient, there are many parents I know who take your approach, and things are just fine. It is wonderful when it works that way. But sometimes something goes wrong even with a “perfect” child, and though not a failsafe indicator, the grades or class choices could be a clue to a problem that just might be nipped in the bud. Sometimes kids just don’t know enough to ask for advice and go with what their advisor oks, and just a word or two from mom or dad could put a different perspective on things. And kids with great relationships are usually not loathe to share this info with parents anyways. Several parents I know got wind of situations that were easily fixable but could have been a real pain in the neck had they gone the wayside. And unfortunately, many mental amd emotional illnesses rear their ugly heads during those college years. It would really upset me if I found out that something that would have been so apparent had I seen the grades went hidden with dire consequences. I have, unfortunately seen it happen to kids who were unlikely candidates. </p>
<p>Now my boys were the type of kids that really did need to be monitored closely in high school, and I did keep my ears perked up when they were at college as well. My son who just graduated this year, probably would have needed an extra semester of college, if I had not intervened a few times on some choices or come up with some alternative ideas for him. They were not big deal interventions, just a few suggestions that no one thought about. And at $45k a year, that was a pretty big savings. My girls were borderline medschool candidates, and because I am fairly knowlegeable about college courses, professional school admission,etc, I was able to help them in many ways that tipped the balance a bit more in their favor. Without knowing their course selections and grades, I could not have helped them. </p>
<p>I will add that I did not have to strong arm any of them into sharing the info with me. I just made it a matter of course thing. Now had they strenuously objected to my getting any info at all, I don’t know what I would have done. I would not have been happy with the situation. I don’t think I would have trusted the boys, but I would have reluctantly let the girls have their privacy if they still felt that way after I presented my reasons why I should share in this part of college. But none of this came about as it was not a big deal thing to have the transcripts sent to me–don’t even remember exactly how it was done with each kid. And it was a natural question to ask what course they were planning to take the following semester–it never got to the prying stage.</p>
<p>I am glad that your kids have done well on their own. Perhaps mine would have as well without my help. But I was fueling my own comfort level in making it my business to know what was going on as well as being a bit of protection if things started going wrong with the kids.</p>