<p>I know that I am always struggling to achieve a balance of what I do for my kids and what I consider their responsibility. There is a huge part of me that wants to take care of their basic needs, like they are still little children. That is my issue, and I should not burden them with it. I know it is not in their best interest, so I take each situation and see if it is something they could learn from doing on their own. They usually feel better when they are responsible for themselves, anyway. Remember the personal joy they felt when they were little and learned a new skill. Mommy, I DID IT!!! To the OP. Is it possible that he is homesick? If he wants you to come take him shopping, when there are other ways to get it done, maybe he just wants to see you. That being said, it does not mean you need to go, but an acknowledgment of this for yourself might help with the struggle. I know my primary responsibility is to help my children develop into self-reliant individuals that can take care of their own needs, and start to be able to take care of the needs of others. There are reasonable requests and there are plain selfish requests. If we let our D/Ss know the ground rules that work for us, they will have some good rules to follow and will therefore feel better in the end.</p>
<p>If it is something you have to buy, go for Amazon Prime. Pay the annual fee, and then there are no charges for 2 day shipping on just about anything you buy from Amazon (sold by Amazon, not one of their other sellers.) Price is generally about what you’d pay at Target, though there usually isn’t tax, the stuff shows up quickly, and it only takes about ten orders a year (for the whole family or anyone you send gifts to) to have this make great financial sense. </p>
<p>They have a remarkable array of stuff that goes way beyond books. Shipping costs at the Post Office or UPS have increased so dramatically as to make a lot of previous shopping choices a lot less sensible if you have to pay for shipping. </p>
<p>I don’t mind packing up ski clothes and shipping them, but if they need contact lens solution, shampoo, books, … we’ve found Amazon to be a much less expensive option.</p>
<p>My S texted us and asked us to ship him a loaf of bread because he didn’t want the upscale, fancy baked bread that was all he could get within walking distance. He wanted cheap supermarket bread.</p>
<p>We asked him to consider the cost of shipping and all laughed about it.</p>
<p>Gotta love 'em.</p>
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<p>My kids can both get to the store for these kinds of purchases themselves. That’s what I tell them to do. The only things I’ll ship are items that are too expensive to replace…that they have left at home. E.g. DD left a set of Sephora make up brushes here…they cost $100. Shipping $much less than replacement. DS needed sneakers. We told him to go to the store and buy them.</p>
<p>I have shipped boxes of collected “stuff” to DD over the last 3 years. I tend to accumulate things that she will need and then mail them together. Items range from mail that needs forwarded to special request on long sleeved Ts to run in as the weather gets colder. I fill the box with Caribou Bars as they are a favorite. DD is amazingly self-sufficient and I am proud of her resourcefulness. DS on the otherhand…</p>
<p>P.S. Hi Thumper! How is your DS (trumpet player) doing?</p>
<p>I suppose that if my D left something at home that she really needed & couldn’t replace in her college town, I’d send it. But ordering things for her online, on command, that she could order herself? Nope! Our agreement is that she will cover her books & spending money from her own earnings, and she has a Visa debit card with her bank account that can be used for online ordering.</p>
<p>Care packages are another thing entirely. I do expect to send her care packages. She can’t order Mom’s cookies online. :)</p>