It is definitely a must that families on budgets make their children aware of the budget. It’s not fair to set a budget but not tell your high school juniors/seniors what their budget is.
Having a budget does not mean the student can’t dream and apply to expensive schools. It just means that the student is aware that attending expensive schools will not be an option without significant financial aid. And in my situation, “financial aid” does not include the option of a parent taking out (or co-signing) student loans for tens of thousands of dollars each year.
Having a set-in-stone budget simply means making the child aware that he/she must have some fiscally realistic options on their list of colleges.