Does my roommate need professional help?

I have to ask the OP, what is your roomate's intended major? Suggest he cross teaching, business, and any other sociable-required major off the list if he doesn't agree to seek help.


Uh, yeah...I don't recommend you do this. It would be extremely rude and condescending. </p>

<p>I don't know that you really have any options here. As long as he is not harming himself or hurting you in any way, I don't see any reason to complain. Some people are just of the hermit variety, and I don't really think it's your place to tell him how he should handle his social life. </p>

<p>Also, I'm not surprised that the dinner was awkward. He probably knows it was a pity invite and can tell you're not that fond of him. Also, if it was an already established group, he probably felt like the fifth wheel.</p>

<p>I know plenty of people like that, or at least very similar. I wouldn't suggest trying to force your friends on him; he probably doesn't like to hang out with groups and, beyond that, doesn't have any common interests with your friends.</p>

<p>It's quite possibly he's a perfectly happy person the way he is so I agree with everyone else about just leaving him be unless he seems clearly depressed. Perhaps he'll meet a group of be similar to him in nature and interests yet; some people are just really picky about who they chose to spend time with like that.</p>

<p>I would suggest leaving the guy alone. Just because you live together doesn't mean you have to be friends, you just have to live peacefully together. Some people are introverted and more private, the sooner you realize that the sooner you can move on from trying to force this guy out of his box. My roommate right now doesn't say a word to almost anybody, and I couldn't care less, he seems content with his own situation.</p>

<p>I think you should leave him alone. If he is content with his life, then don't force him to do things he doesn't want to. It sounds like he is ****ed at you. I would be if someone gave me a copy of "How to Win Friends." That is an insult. If you some how find things in common try to build on that. Other than that just let him do his thing.</p>

<p>I am just trying to help him.</p>

<p>That's the thing, maybe he doesn't need help. Not everyone is the same and they don't all have the same tastes or hobbies. I know you want him be more social, but maybe there are reasons he likes being on his own.</p>

<p>I have to agree with a few others just leave the guy alone and find a new roommate next year. </p>

<p>I can relate to the OP roommate, at one time I remember being the one that did not really seek out friends. I stayed to myself and if I made a friend it was just something that happened and was not forced. As I have gotten older (28 now) it has become much easier for me to make friends but its never been because I sought out to make friends.</p>

<p>Seems to me with all the attempts to get him out, doing this doing that, is making this guy go back into his shell. And I know if someone kept pushing this on me that I did not want to do would tick me off and close any doors of ever being friends with said person.</p>

<p>I know you think you are helping but please back off the guy and let him live his life his way. You are not him and he is not you so leave him be.</p>

<p>Well I would give up on him then ; he doesn't have people skills-too bad because it sounds as if you would have liked a social room mate. How do these kids get past the interview?</p>

<p>If he's content with his situation and isn't causing you any trouble I suggest you leave him alone. </p>

<p>I'm not an extreme case like your roommate, I'm in a club, have a good amount of aquantinces, make sure I have at least one or two people to chat with in my classes, ect. I can't imagine a day without some positive human contact.
Nonetheless, I'm a very introverted person myself. I can see where you're roommate is coming from. It's frustrating when my more extraverted friends and even my own social butterfly of a mother act as if my need to be alone for a while is some type mental problem of sorts. Of course they don't mean any harm, I can understand that it might be hard for them to understand why being with people can be more of a draining experience for some. I'm sure you don't mean any harm too, but you should understand that some people are more inclined to be more "hermit like" than others. Maybe your roomate is one of them. </p>

<p>If you want your roommate to open up to you more, then you're going to have to take it slow. It may take even longer in your case since your attempts to help him, might've pushed him back even further in his shell. The best thing is to just let him be, and maybe try to start up some small talk when it looks like he's in the mood and see how it goes from there.</p>

<p>^^ haha.. that made me laugh.. (the maybe he just doesn't like you part.. ha)</p>

<p>Responding to the OPs last post, if he thinks you're patronizing him by trying to get him to go out, why don't you do stuff with him in your room. But casually. Not like you're forcing him too. It may seem bland, but maybe even ask for help on homework. Or just make an effort to do something with him in the dorm first. If you feel he isn't receptive, ask him why he doesn't want to hang with you. If he is receptive, maybe then ask him to do something with you that you think he would be interested in.</p>

<p>Many people, as others have said, just like being alone.</p>

Well I would give up on him then ; he doesn't have people skills-too bad because it sounds as if you would have liked a social room mate. How do these kids get past the interview?


<p>Don't assume he doesn't have social skills, and don't assume there was an interview. He may be able to social if he needs to, for example an interview in there was one, but if for the most part he might just like hanging out on his own.</p>

<p>Guys, I want to confess something: I lied to you.</p>

<p>I don't have a roommate like the one I described. I do, however, have a roommate who is an awful lot like the character I played on this forum. That is correct, guys, I am the socially awkward, slacker rooomate I referred to, and I felt compelled to write my message from the presumed point of view of my roommate because I wanted to see what type of responses I obtained.</p>

<p>Since I like your responses (thanks guys, for being so accepting of my lifestyle), I am now tempted to print this thread and show it to my roommate. Perhaps now he will stop trying to get me to "come out of my shell" and treat me more respectfully.</p>

<p> think that by showing your roommate that instead of socializing, you pretend to be someone else online and ask if you need professional help while pretending to be him, he'll respect you more? my advice is...No. </p>

<p>but yeah him giving you that book was pretty rude. just tell him what we told you - some people prefer being alone. sooner or later, he'll get it.</p>

<p>No, he doesn't get it, and probably won't.</p>

<p>I wonder if I, as the 'weird' roommate, have a chance of convincing the people in charge of student housing to transfer me to another room. I am just sick and tired of being treated like 'the poor kid who needs help'. I feel very inappropriate, almost abnormal :(</p>

<p>Have you been extra clear about how upset you are about his treatment? Having a long and clear talk about it (without getting angry or really emotional, that might lead him to think you have some bigger issues that are bothering you) may help. Also, perhaps he treats you the way he does because he thinks you are depressed; make sure to talk to him about how much you're enjoying your freedom and other aspects of your college life; I think he'll really get the message then and stop pestering you.</p>

<p>Also though, your room is not the only place you can be to relax. Go to the study lounge or the library once in a while if you need the quiet time away from your roommate.</p>

<p>one more tiny suggestion: if you have at least one or two friends, introduce them to your roommate. Maybe he just needs to know you have some people in your life you can talk to right now.</p>

<p>LOL................Why are you so concerned about what your roommate thinks? If you don't like him you don't have to see him after this year. Just do your own thing and let him worry about himself.</p>

<p>Okay.. Well since the tables are turned..</p>

<p>Do you hate your roommate, or would you be chill doing something with him, even if it’s homework or something in the dorm room? Trust me, I like my alone time too, and I could see how you’d find him annoying. But would you consider just being his casual friend?</p>

<p>I don't dislike my roommate, I just want him to stop acting like a life counselor.</p>

<p>Maybe you should stop complaining and be thankful you don't have a jerk for a roommate. All he's doing is reaching out to you. Trust me, as far as roommates go, you could be in a much worse situation than you are now.
Rather then spending your time on CC discussing this issue, why don't you just open your mouth and talk with your roommate.</p>

<p>Next year, try for a single if you prefer being by yourself.</p>