<p>3 boys, all driving age. We never gave anyone of them a car, but always have a car around for their use if they need it. By school rules, they are allowed to drive when they are seniors in high school, so we will permit that, much for my sanity. High school is 20 minutes from here with no traffic, and there is often traffic and there is no late bus, so I am sick of doing the drive after all these years. We pay to maintain the car, and if they have a accident, they are responsible for the repair bill. If they get a ticket, they would be responsible for that cost, too.</p>
<p>Oldest son hinted frequently that he would like a car at school, outside the Philadelphia area, but never made an appropriate case that it was a necessity. It was not. A luxury yes, a necessity, no. He is now in graduate school in Chicago and uses a Zipcar when he feels he absolutely needs a car. Wolfpackmom, I would like to line up for a shot at being one of your daughters. I cook quite well… :D</p>
<p>Those of us who grew up in NYC often don’t learn to drive until we absolutely have to. In my case it was when I was 27, getting married, and moving to the suburbs. Before that, I only lived in cities and had no access to a car, so getting a license would have been pointless, since there would have been no way for me to practice driving after I’d gotten it.</p>
<p>That said, I’m glad both of my kids learned in high school, since I’m very happy not to be a chauffeur any more.</p>
<p>Two kids, age 20 and 17, “share” a car. At least they do when the 20 year old is home from college. This past semester he had the car with him on campus. It wasn’t a huge burden on the 17 year old though, because DH works from home and doesn’t need a car most days, so she used his car.</p>
<p>The car they share was mine previously, it’s a 10 year old Camry with 90,000 miles on it. We pay the insurance.</p>
<p>Oldest daughter is 28 and lives in a city and has never owned a car. Uses public transportation for everything and relishes the money she saves and splurges on a once a year fabulous trip.</p>
<p>Younger D goes to school in a city and doesn’t have a car either. Never had one in high school, had to borrow my 10 year old van when she wanted to drive to school. </p>
<p>Kate43 - Your parents are lookin’ better aren’t they?</p>
<p>I think DS who does not enjoy driving would like to live in such a city. No wonder he once hinted that he would not mind at all to live in NYC if he ends up not being able to get back to his home state. (He has visited NYC once only and he is impressed by its public transportation system.) We are essentially immobile in our suburban area if we do not have a car.</p>
<p>Thanks, all, for the answers! My college area does have Zipcar, and it is great. Of course, there is always something to complain about, like how it’s hard to get one with short notice, I need to plan my trips to the minute so I don’t get back late (and if I make a reservation too long, then I pay extra for time that I’m not using the car), the cars are parked very far from my dorm, etc. My parents do pay for the times I use the Zipcar though, which is super nice.</p>
<p>I would love to have my own car, but it’s hard to think of a practical way to have one right now. Like, should I keep it at home, where I’ll only have it for the summer? Or, at school where I’ll have it for the school year but not for when I’m at home? (Driving cross-country or shipping it back and forth would be way too much of a hassle).</p>
<p>The reason I posted this was because I had a discussion with my mom earlier about how i think that it’s hard to be an otherwise self-sufficient, responsible college student (with a perfect driving record!) who relies on her parents to take her places. I just wanted some perspective about how common my “situation” is, and if I really should feel upset or if it’s the norm. I’ll continue to read all your helpful responses!!</p>
<p>ps. I drove my mom’s 15-year-old Toyota Camry station wagon to school my senior year of high school. The transmission was dying so the car would hardly go in reverse, and would make this really loud embarrassing noise when I tried to leave the parking loud.</p>
<p>We purchased a car for our kids in high school because there weren’t enough of us to go around the transport them in different directions at the same time. Their first year or two in college, they went without, except for the one who went to school locally commuting from home to school (the others went out of state). Once they did move off campus, they did have a car to use.</p>
<p>Our youngest, who will be going away to college this fall, will not have a car for at least his first two years there. He’s required to live in the dorms those two years and the college discourages bringing a car unless it’s needed for work.</p>
<p>We also bought our children new cars on for their 16th birthdays. I found it essential since their school was a 20 to 30 min drive away (depending on traffic) and I had to be elsewhere with their younger sibling. Car was chosen based upon that years 5 star safety rating. D1 got a Honda Accord EX and D2 got a Toyota Camry XLE. D1 is still driving her Accord and plan is to upgrade her to new car for either her college or grad. school graduation, depending upon where she lives. We also pay insurance, gas and maintenance on the kids cars. I suppose we will have to get my son a car next year when he turns 16 just to be fair, although he is going to the public school 1 mile from our house. </p>
<p>Since my kids were born I have had numerous friends tell me that they want to be reincarnated as one of my children. I always assumed it was because I was such a hands on mom but maybe it was the toys…</p>
<p>We bought a third car (used Honda Civic) when D turned 16. At that point I was driving her to school early and picking her up late for activities as well as carpooling her to dance 5-6 days/week, so it was a big convenience for us. She drops her brother off at middle school on the way to school ( he starts earlier and this was part of the agreement). Most of the kids in our area have cars as juniors and seniors.
Next year she goes to school in NYC-so no car at college. I will be driving the Civic to work instead of my SUV.</p>
<p>We bought both of our S’s very used (more than 10 years old) vehicles when they turned 16. Between sports practices/games and their part-time gro. store jobs with rotating schedules, it made our life much simpler for them to have their own transportation. I would say the vast majority of their friends had a vehicle or at least easy access to a vehicle in h.s. We live in a sprawling suburb with no public transportation.</p>
<p>Since then we have replaced those old vehicles with newer but not new (2000/2001) trucks. Both took their vehicles to college.</p>
<p>My first car was a handydown from my brother who moved. My parents and grandmother paid for it. It was used.</p>
<p>I used it until my second year of college and it finally broke down. My dad bought me a new used car. He pays the insurance. I pay for gas. I know he has a hard time making the payments, but they hate taking me to school/driving me places so its pretty helpful to have it, though I don’t like to say that I need anything. </p>
<p>My parents don’t pay anything for my school.</p>
<p>Our take was that even though they wouldn’t get a car, it would be good for them to get a learner’s permit as soon as possible (around 15) after taking a driving course so they could learn to drive under our supervision. It’s a skill better mastered early. We live within walking distance of the school, so both S1 and S2 have been dropped off at school every morning. Their way back has been on their own, usually walking. As soon as S1 got a regular license, he was able to borrow one of our cars as needed, a privilege that luckily was not abused. He doesn’t need one in college (smallish, kind of urban, with great transportation). S2 has different ideas, but is set up for the same treatment. We are lucky that their activities have been concentrated in a small area. Insurance is very expensive (very is too nice a word) in our area, even though they don’t have cars, but is the price to pay for them to learn under our supervision. Privilege to use car weighs heavily as a bargaining tool, too. All the money saved is being used to pay for even more expensive that car insurance college tuition.</p>
<p>wolfpackmom and seiclan, just curious, how did how did the parents of your kids’ friends react to you getting your kids new cars at such a young age? I was involved in the h.s. school PTO and actually had some parents make negative and resentful comments about my getting my daughter a car because it made it harder for them to hold to their positions with their own kids that they would not do the same. I found the reactions often to be petty and presumptuous. It was an interesting lesson for my daughter when she would learn that the parent of one of her friends would make comments behind my daughter’s back that my daughter was spoiled or snipe about how “easy” my daughter had it but then be all smiles and “sweetness” to my daughter’s face.</p>
<p>MichaelnKat- We live in a very affluent area so I really do not feel much resentment at my kid’s having nice cars. Most parents get their children cars at 16 or 17 here. The seniors have a lottery to park in the senior lot at the hs and the sophomores and juniors can get a city decal to park in the community park about 1/2 block from the school. The only difference between the haves and have nots seems to be which car the kids get. I know of kids who got a Ford Focus and I know of kids whose first car was a Lexus IS, BMW 328, or Acura TSX (very popular here). </p>
<p>I am a very active volunteer at my son’s high school and I work with all types. I definitely would not advertise to my coworkers the luxurys that we share with our children though. That said, occasionally I do run across someone who seems to feel resentful. I know what that feels like. </p>
<p>I grew up in an affluent neighborhood in Northern New Jersey and was surrounding by people who endulged their children’s every whim…I used to think that my family was poor because my parents didn’t give us what the other kids had (Cars, Huckapoo shirts, Calvin Klein jeans, whatever). I learned later in adulthood that it is all about choices. Who is anyone to criticise another’s choices? My parent’s were very frugal but because of this, my mother is able to support herself in her retirement today (Dad died many years ago). I did not own a car until I was 25 years old. </p>
<p>My husband and I are very fortunate to be able to give our children luxuries that we did not have as children, but it is our choice and, we can. The really sad thing about living in this area is the amount of people who “keep up with the Jones’s” and really cannot afford it. I know so many people who live in huge fancy houses with no furniture AND their kids are driving fancy new cars too! At least now, with the economy in a slump, it is cool again to be frugal! Unfortunately, many of these wannabe’s who have overextended themselves to the max are now in major hot water.</p>
<p>D1 no car in high school- no car in college- no car three years after college graduation.
Part of criteria for college selection was that it was relatively easy to get around without.
D2 no car in high school- currently is traveling ( sans car)
may get one in college, but she doesnt have her liscense anyway,</p>
<p>My S has a car to drive to (private day) school. It’s an older Jeep and it was that or drive him … or pay for the bus. In our case, driving is cheaper, and substantially more convenient. I was spending a lot of money on part time store help when I had to do the driving! </p>
<p>My older S has a car at college also – living off campus. </p>
<p>I think this is one thread where YMMDV (Your Mileage May Definitely Vary)!</p>
<p>Daughter truly needed a car in H.S. so she had one - a beater - but we sold it when she left for college. Now she is home for a few weeks and car-less.</p>
<p>My sister gifted D with a (rather nice) used car about 6 months before she even learned to drive. She drove it all through HS (where guys were impressed that she could drive stick) and 3 years of college so far. It has low mileage and I encourage her to take really good care of it as it might be a collector if/when the brand goes away, which is VERY likely. </p>
<p>We pay for insurance, which finally went down when she turned 21 recently, and maintenance. I buy her a tank of gas when she comes to visit which isn’t too often. She has room for 3 passengers, but the back seat is NOT comfy so her car isn’t used for groups or road trips.</p>
<p>My 20 year old only has a learner’s permit. He’s in college in a city with decent public transportation, better than where we live - though we have a very easy commute into NYC. I didn’t get my license until the summer after I graduated from college so I guess he’s following in my footsteps. (I needed one then as I had a grant for a cross country road trip.) I’ve got no plans to buy him a car. My husband got his first car (on my urging) after he’d been in grad school for a year and I was there for the summer. (Pasadena) Some of their friends have cars, most don’t.</p>