<p>Wow - I leave for the day and come home to find such a wonderfully rich, detailed and helpful discussion here. Thanks to everyone. </p>
<p>I appreciate all the views. The reason I came over here from my usual haunts (the musical theater thread) was because this dilemma was starting to feel like more of a parenting issue now. I"m the one who is wavering. My D is absolutely determined to follow her career goals, is perfectly aware of the pitfalls and minefields out there, and is very clear about what she wants to study (and get as training) and what she does not. She cannot imagine any other life right now, and from my point of view, has been headed in this direction since she was 5 or 6 years old and creating little productions in our backyard casting neighborhood pals in various roles. [No need to mention how many of our bedsheets were ruined by being “curtains” and being dragged through the yard!]</p>
<p>She does have other skills and talents, and I have no doubt that she will find her way successfully, somehow. It’s feeling like my main job now is to support the dream if I can (financially, to the extent we can), help her find safe and decent housing, and let go of the process. </p>
<p>I really appreciate the mention of other schools in NYC that would offer theater opportunities and DORMS!</p>
<p>A friends son graduated from HS 4 years ago. He went to the University of the Arts for one year in Philadelphia and then Boston Conseravatory for one year. After that he did local theatre and then decided to move to NYC and get a job and just audition. He got a job ushering at a theatre on Broadway and last year got his foot in the door touring with a Broadway show around the country. He’s always worked, but boy, is it work!</p>
<p>And then there is the shy boy I knew in high school. I am serious when I say I never heard him speak. He went to a state university and majored in history. Then went to broadway, started doing auditions ,and has worked steadily ever since - not a star or a name, but earns a decent living apparently. No sign at all in high school that he would ever even be interested in theater. No professional training that i am aware of. So, you never know. The fates work in strange ways sometimes.</p>
<p>What is a typical outcome for those who participate in the types of theater programs – and especially, the specific program – your daughter has in mind? Do a large percentage end up getting jobs as actors – and how critical was this particular education in their doing so? Do most graduates go into acting or into other aspects of theater (e.g., crew, costume design, producing, directing, theater management)? If your daughter never saw success as an actor but could work professionally in some other aspect – let’s say, as lighting manager of a Broadway show – would she be happy? If your daughter were to go the college route, would the answers be the same? The key benefits of following the college route that I see are (1) a broader/deeper level of education; (2) fall-back if the theater thing doesn’t work out; (3) possibility that she falls in love with something else (perhaps her first astrophysics class will convince her to go that direction!). </p>
<p>Second set of questions: Are yor goals and hers the same? Perhaps she just wants the most direct route to an acting job, even if she never hits the big-time. Perhaps you want a different type of education for her or a better feeling about the possibility of a more secure economic future.</p>
<p>chrism, I haven’t followed your daughter’s story on the MT thread so I may not have all the details right. It seems that although she was accepted to several colleges, she was not offered a space in a coveted theater program, so she is considering opting for acting school in NYC instead. What bothers you about this is 1) you think she should get a “real” college degree 2) youd like her to have a college experience and 3) if she does go the acting school route, you’d like her to be a structured living environment in New York. Did I get that right?</p>
<p>I’m involved in retailing and often talk to would-be fashion designers who are trying to decide whether to go to technical school or get a bachelors. Unless they are VERY talented and VERY driven, I usually advise them to go for the BA or BS either with a fashion supplement or a plan to get design training later. The parallels are not exactly valid for acting as verbal communication and analytic skills are not necessarily as valuable in theater as they would be in a business environment; however, the talent and drive aspect certainly applies. </p>
<p>(Actually the daughter of one of the execs in my company deferred then eventually turned down a top Ivy to pursue a Hollywood career. Her parents were crushed but three years later the contracts are rolling in! So it can happen. . .) So if you daughter has the talent and the drive and it sounds like she does – it seems to me that you wont be able to talk her out of it, so the best approach will be to proceed with an insurance policy in hand.</p>
<p>In that case, would it be possible for her to defer her one of her acceptance so that if after a year in the real world she changes her mind the option would still be available? Or would she consider taking the acting course and simultaneously re-applying to the schools that denied her or to others that she didnt apply to with the added experience on her resume? For the money, if your family is eligible for need-based financial aid, I would think it would there after a Gap year whether your daughter came in as a freshman or a sophomore.</p>
<p>As far as a safe and structured place to live in NYC, Im totally out of my element in acting schools, but I know that most programs that attract young people do offer suggestions on living spaces, usually shares, that are convenient and parent-friendly. Any one remember the Barbizon? Checking apartment listings at Columbia or NYU would be a good place to start. New Yorks going through an expensive phase right now (the good news is that its safer than ever!) so she may have to look outside of Manhattan. Again, I dont know the whole story so its difficult to tell how much urban experience your daughter has had. A roommate that she knows would alleviate a lot of anxiety.</p>
<p>You wrote:
“What bothers you about this is 1) you think she should get a “real” college degree 2) youd like her to have a college experience and 3) if she does go the acting school route, you’d like her to be a structured living environment in New York. Did I get that right?”</p>
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<p>Yes, right on the mark. In terms of importance to ME, #3, #1, then #2. Actually #2 isn’t that important at all. To me or her. </p>
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<p>"In that case, …would she consider taking the acting course and simultaneously re-applying to the schools that denied her or to others that she didnt apply to with the added experience on her resume? "</p>
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<p>She’s planning to re-apply to some schools in addition to applying to the acting school. Both would be for fall 2006. This coming fall she would not be in the acting school but would be interning and performing locally. </p>
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<p>"As far as a safe and structured place to live in NYC, …Checking apartment listings at Columbia or NYU would be a good place to start. "</p>
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<p>Actually last night I found an organization that organizes dorm-style living situations for students who are on internships in NYC, etc. Anyone interested can email me privately and I’ll send the link. This could be the key for us! Yea!</p>
<p>I read a lot of comments that if a kid who studies theater does not make it (and it is a difficult field to get work, of course), then he/she will be waiting tables. Not necessarily so. Many kids who are interested in theater have other talents or skills. Some choose to waitress because they are simulataneously doing the audition circuit and need a night job so they can attend auditions. In my own kid’s case, I feel pretty confident if her career on stage does not take hold, that she has other possibilities and things she would be able to do, besides waitressing.</p>
<p>Chris…while I know your D might not want a college but still look into Fordham, Wagner, or Pace in NYC. But with CITS, AADA, and Neighborhood Playhouse, try to talk to the schools and ask where students are living and if they pair up or group up and while that is not the same as dorms, it might put her in with other students in her school, and not just out there on her own. </p>
<p>I know kids who have "made it " in theatre and other fields and still bartend or wait or bus. My friend’s D has an enviable position with a major newspaper, but it just does not pay well. She tends bar at a prestigious restaraunt that really brings in the money.</p>