Dogless and Sad

Parent Cafe
21

<p>I sympathize with you. We also lost our dog not that long before my youngest went off for college. However, I ended up thinking it was just too quiet around here with no kids (or dog) in the house anymore so I replaced my D with a dog - i.e. we adopted a dog from a rescue place (Boxer - same breed as the previous dog) shortly after my youngest went off to college. I was somewhat reluctant to do this at first but am quite glad I did since he’s a great dog and adds a lot to the household.</p>

<p>You need to focus on the fact that your dog brought your family a lot of pleasure over the years and you did the same for the dog. The dog lived a long and hopefully happy life and that’s all anyone (or any dog) can ask for. Try to focus on the happiness of the memories rather than the sadness of the void.</p>

22

<p>We had to put our 16 year old lab down in June. I feel your pain. It is like losing a “member” of the family. We had a lot of good times with her, and I cried a few times. I am sorry for your loss. We have another dog, a 4 yr old yorkie, which is nothing like a lab. Labs are great - always happy and unconditional love. We really can’t get another larger dog again, although I am tempted. Labs really are like angels who help us. I know I sound crazy, but our dog was really special, as I am sure yours was too.</p>

23

<p>I still remember losing my very first lab…we had her way before I was born, and then when I was about 8, we found out that she had a mass on the inside of her hip.</p>

<p>The mass was so bad by this point that she could not eat or drink (she was about 13 by this point…OLD for a lab). The vet said that he could do surgery, but she was so old and sick there was more of a chance that she would pass away on the table.</p>

<p>My dad had her put down that night.</p>

<p>My mom told my sister and I the next morning…I was very sad for several days, and our house was sad for several days as well.</p>

<p>Luckily, though, we already had a new addition to our family.</p>

<p>We had been in Modesto visiting family that weekend, and our parents surprised my sister and I with a new male black lab puppy.</p>

<p>I will never forget the night we brought him home…he went toddling over to our old lab, Roxy (in that “my feet are wayyy too big for my body so I’m not sure how to walk” way that lab puppies have), and laid down next to her.</p>

<p>And the next thing that happened, I absolutely swear: they touched noses with one another. Mom swears Roxy was “passing the torch”.</p>

<p>Jake is getting old now…I’m wondering how much time he has left, and it makes me sad. But at least we’ll still have our other lab.</p>

<p>Two years after Jake we got our yellow female, Izzy. She is…ahem…“special” for a lab. She hates water, and the car, and she cannot catch. And she doesn’t quite understand the “fetch” concept.</p>

<p>But she is MY dog. I love her to death, she listens to me best…and now that I’m home from college, she is my shadow. She follows me everywhere around the house.</p>

<p>I will hate to leave her again. I formed a special bond with her the minute we got her…maybe because we got her from the same breeder as Roxy, maybe because of her “doggie mind meld” powers. Either way, she is MY dog, and I always duke it out with my sister when she starts ragging on Izzy for being a “stupid lab”.</p>

24

<p>Your dog is a part of your heart. I still miss all my dogs all the way back to the one I first remember. My life would have been so much poorer without dogs in it. Humans can learn so much from animals, especially dogs. We were dogless for about 6 months, during which time we got a cat whom we have all come to love. But after 6 months, I needed someone to walk and take out in the yard. It scares me as he is now 9 years old and gray in the muzzle. I know that there will be another dog after him; not to replace him, but to honor him and the dogs before him. </p>

<p>So sorry again.</p>

25

<p>I am so sorry…as the mother of goldens (all rescued) I can truly say that any dog is a part of the family if you let it be…Hugs</p>

26

<p>I am so sorry. I know how much you loved your furry friend. It is heart-breaking to have to say goodbye to a wonderful pet.</p>

27

<p>I’m sorry - and Hayden, what you wrote was beautiful.</p>

28

<p>I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I’m sure the absence is palpable. We lost our our 13 year old cavalier king charles spaniel a year ago. He was my husband’s best friend. At first we cried; now we laugh when we recall all the joy that dog brought us. Just last week, I put on a pair of shorts that I hadn’t worn ( and obviously not washed) in awhile. I put my hand in the pocket and pulled out a long lost liver treat. It triggered another round of dog stories.</p>

29

<p>I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your ‘fur friend’. We lost our boy a year ago in June and we still tear up when we talk about him. He was a found-dog (found by the side of the road) and was with us for 14 yrs. I’m pushing hard for us to buy a new house (we just moved to a new town) as soon as possible because right after that, it’ll be time for a visit to a rescue. I want two this time!</p>

30

<p>I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog. The timing certainly adds an additional challenge for you and your kids as you have to process this just before they head off (back) to school. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>They would be sadly mistaken.</p>

31

<p>Not just a dog, but a member of your family…</p>

<p>You have my sincere sympathy.</p>

32

<p>You are living what I am fearing. I have three old dogs- 16, 13 (blind and diabetic) and 12 (big with heart problems). I am having to have discussions with my husband and mom (who lives with us) about what our plans are going to be and how much we will do or not do. Daughter leaves in two weeks. </p>

<p>I am trying to mentally prepare just in case, and have contingency plans in place incase something happens while we are away. My gut is telling me we will lose one by holidays. We lost one two years ago and one a few months ago (she was anywhere from 12-15- we just had her about 2 years).</p>

<p>My heart goes out to you and all I can say is just know you were family to your dog. You were his pack. </p>

<p>I think when our dogs, we will take a break, so when I get the tug, i am going to send checks to various rescue groups, etc.</p>

<p>I know the feeling of every morning, seeing if their chests are moving. The older dog is getting loopy. Sigh.</p>

<p>Many arfs your way and take that energy, that empytiness and fill it with something good. After having dogs forever, it can be really hollow in the home without their energy.</p>

<p>Take care and my advice, if I had any, would be to put away all dog stuff, our consolodate into one area, like their bed so when you come home you went get smacked by little reminders in every room.</p>

<p>For us, we put her collar, and her toys on her bed, and then we donated them to a rescue group.</p>

<p>Its good to be sad, it means you lost someone very special.</p>

33

<p>Oh, no, not “just a dog”. Here is a quote from Audrey Hepburn that I give to friends when they lose a dog. I feel like it articulates it better than I possibly can:</p>

<p>“I think an animal, especially a dog, is possibly the purest experience you can have. No person, and few children, unless they’re still infants, are as unpremeditated, as undemanding, really. They ask only to survive. They want to eat. They are totally dependent on you, and therefore completely vulnerable. And this vulnerability is what enables you to open up your heart completely, which you rarely do to a human being, except, perhaps children. Who think you’re as fantastic as your dog does?”</p>

<p>So sorry for your loss.</p>

34

<p>So sorry. Our dog passed in his sleep just a few months ago. I understand.</p>

35

<p>Thank you, truly, for the many kind words and sentiments. We are managing, although it is hard. Our home is so very quiet. She panted terribly…constantly…(yet another sign of how sick she was), so we are really “hearing” her loss. Kids are dealing, but college freshman daughter is struggling the most. She simply won’t talk about her dog. I think there is value in talking, remembering, sobbing, being angry… but this is one of those lessons in living that a mom can’t solve.</p>

<p>Thanks again, everyone. I’m working hard to push onward----------college move in is two weeks from today. There’s still much to gather. I need to frame a picture of our wonderful dog to send with my girls to school. And I think I’d better buy more kleenex. The “blubbering” will start all over again as we return to our even emptier house.</p>

<p>Why can’t kids and dogs all stay young forever?</p>

36

<p>Take the tissues with you. I cry in the car every time. And you may find your daughter’s emotions about the dog come out when you least expect them, like when you are driving up there.</p>

37

<p>Oh Colc, I’m so sorry! I fear we are getting very close to what you are experiencing now. </p>

<p>We were always cat people, but when our youngest was 7-8, she started asking if we could get a dog. She asked on and off for nearly two years. My husband finally said, “Well, I don’t want a dog and you don’t want a dog, but if a kid wants a dog they should be allowed to have a dog!” And that was it! After we picked up the puppy and got into the car, I turned to see her holding the him on her lap in the backseat of the car just crying her eyes out. All she could say was, “Thank (sob, sob)…you (sob, sob, sob)…” That D is now a rising junior in college and the dog has heart disease, bouts of congestive heart failure, and his own pharmacy account at Wal-Mart. He has been the best friend imaginable and when he leaves us there will be a huge hole in our family.</p>

38

<p>There just might be a god. This thread comes at the most opportune time. I am sitting here wasting time on CC while my almost 13 year old shih tzu is dying of a presumed cerebellar brain tumor (H and I are physicians and our knowledge plus web search make that the most likely diagnosis). Son gets back next Sunday from his summer OOS, he said he hopes our dog makes it long enough to see him again (son has already been off to college 3 years now- shrinking household will shrink even further and son often ignored our dog so it is touching that he cares that much), and our vet also gets back from his 2 week vacation so we are delaying the inevitable. I have mixed feelings- the vet we would have to see now is a their practice’s cat person and is adamant about the 10 days post bite rules (my already blind dog fought me putting on a halter and caught the back of my hand- there is no way he has rabies and no necropsy needed)- tomorrow is coming.</p>

<p>I feel guilty for not letting go yet and know our dog isn’t suffering unduly- now quiet periods with periods of incessant leg motion et al (the physician part of me finds it interesting, but you don’t want interesting when you or a loved one is the patient). I’m giving him whatever he will take from his mouth- water, gatorade and even peanut butter/honey to avoid dehydration, starving. Daily sink baths with poured shampoo water for urine messes and gated in the laundry room except for holding him. It will have been a month with any problems (all sorts of odd sequences- day of coma after prednisone, a fever days after antibiotics- it may have been a stroke from which dogs can recover from in only a few weeks and he was improving before a week ago’s setback).</p>

<p>Thanks for “listening”. Dogs DO have souls- I would argue any religious authority on that. I sometimes wonder if there is reincarnation what my dog did in a previous life to deserve having me as his owner/major person in his life- he was either very bad or is headed for nirvana for being so good to me for so long (and yet he had his own stubborn shih tzu personality lest anyone think he was perfect). Shih tzus are so emotionally aware and social that the dog I knew is already gone. We are hanging in there for us and son, plus preparing ourselves for a future without our dog. Why couldn’t a dog with a long time heart murmur/valve leak die of his heart …? Part of me feels cruel for letting our needs keep him alive an extra week or two but the extra time will take care of any “what ifs”- such as maybe he will improve…</p>

<p>All of my sympathy to those with recent pet losses. I knew the end would come someday, but had hoped he would have just faded from heart disease, not this way.</p>

39

<p>Colclif, please accept my most heartfelt condolence on your family’s loss. As with wis75, a timely post for me as well–just 10 days ago we unexpectedly had to put our 14 year old terrier mix rescue dog to sleep.He had a malignant tumor on one of his front legs, and the vet assured us that by amputating the leg, she would remove the entire tumor, and that he should heal well in 3 weeks’ time. A day after the surgery, while he was recuperating at the vet’s, he apparently developed blood clots, may have had a stroke, and by the time we got there, he was breathing but with the aid of a machine. We had no choice but to help him go peacefully. Our 19 year old D doesn’t remember a time without our dog, and she and DH too were terribly distraught–and our 24 year old S, who we called on the phone during all this, was no less affected.</p>

<p>As DH pointed out to me, we lost not only a wonderful pet and companion, but a tangible piece of our kids’ childhoods. Even I, the one who loved him the least, have been pretty broken up about it. Even though we are still so sad, we are able to tell stories about him and his antics without crying–most of the time. DD goes back to school in 2 weeks and we are just grateful she was able to be with him at the end.</p>

40

<p>Colc and Wis, my deepest sympathy to you and all others who lost a four-legged family member… Four weeks ago I though I’d be the one to start a similar thread because my dog suddenly lost control of his back legs. He is 10 years old, but was in perfect health (not a single hint of hip problems either). When H took him to be seen by a neurologist, H cried - it was his first dog. We did not expect a miracle because we though we missed a window for successful surgery (so much bad advice was given to us until I called my trusted veterinary consultant - my little sister!). The surgery cost us our vacation and some other things, but not giving this dog a chance would have been something that we could not forgive ourselves! After the surgery, I poured over Medline looking at veterinary journal articles trying to figure out what our dog’s odds of being able to walk again really were - 25% at best! Four weeks later, the dog can get up on his own and follow me around the yard without being supported by a towel. I know we’ll be crying for days when his time comes…</p>