Domineering Roommate

[austinmshauri]

My child is… sick of the constant ordering around (which they do give in on a lot just to avoid confrontation), and the negative comments on their personality and intelligence.

The roommate is always there so my child has no where to go to relax.

the roommate constantly asks what my child is working on and… comments on how long it takes my child to do homework, goes to any activity my child attends and dominates the conversation so no one else can talk, and has even gotten to the point of telling my child when to brush their teeth and go to bed.

My child is very shy and just recently started talking more to the roommate and other people on the floor- to which the roommate responded that they don’t like my child’s true personality and they preferred it when they were quiet.

I work at a university. We would take this, especially the personal comments, seriously. It’s not an RA issue. RA issues are a difference in preferences for thermostat settings and similar disagreements. It sounds like the roommate is creating a hostile living environment.

Your son should be documenting what the roommate is doing/saying (dates, times, witnesses). I’d recommend seeing a counselor on campus for suggestions on dealing with the roommate, then go to the Dean of Residential Life with his documentation and tell them he wants a room change. Start creating a paper trail.

In the meantime, he should live his life. Invite people over, go to events without explaining his schedule to the roommate, and quit giving in on things he doesn’t want just to avoid conflict. The roommate can only run his life if continues to let him.