I believe I’m the only person on the planet who up sized after the kids left. We’ve been here about a 5 weeks. The first few weeks I was wondering what I agreed to do it felt so big to me. We used it as an exercise to really pare down our crap though and just take what I loved. We have looked for years for a house on the water and finally found enough of the right stuff to pull the trigger. This is out last house before the home…
In the greater Seattle area, towns are coming to realization that ADUs solve a lot more problems than they supposedly create. They allow creation of higher density housing without demolition of the existing residences, multi-generational families can peacefully coexist (highly popular with Asian and Eastern European population), and older folks can keep up with the increasing tax payments without losing their homes by renting out the detached dwellings. It is still an uphill batte within more urban areas; rural-like suburbia is more lenient towards ADUs.
@dstark, yes. Marin has most everything (water, mountains, kayaking), although it might be hard to be on the water, in walking distance of a town center, and be nor more costly than our house and companion lot in an affluent Boston exurb.
But, I do not think I can convince her to give up her friends in our neighborhood, town, Cambridge and Boston. At least not in one step. Next winter, we’ll spend 5 month in Marin and see how things go.
Marin, as well as much of coastal CA, is heaven. But my California home town is no longer affordable.
However down to earth here in the Midwest, I just moved to my smaller house this last week, from 2200 square feet to now about 1200. Repeatedly, people asked if I was going to a condo. No-as gardening is a big part of my life, and hopefully playing music more in future, which does not work with shared walls.
I closed on my old house last week, after finding and buying the new place last fall. The closets were not perfectly cleaned out, and I was not totally ready for the downsize. But I had bought the old place by word of mouth, and sold the same way, as it was a historic showpiece and the neighborhood popular. With the move on the horizon, I could transition gradually, while doing construction on the new place. Knowing myself, I knew that going into crisis mode would get me out of there, and it worked, over the last 6 months. A lot was tossed, the kids were made to go through their things. But the past month has been sort of a nightmare that is now over. I do have the relief space of a good sized dry basement as well as small garage, as I continue to sort. But the deed is done, and it is a financial, as well as a maintenance relief.
There is sadness as well. This house is functional and has the historic charm that I like, but in smaller ways. The old place was remarkable, and this is ok. I am itching for a kitchen redo. The yard is an exciting blank slate. This place is a bit of a project, which will make the place mine and plans are exciting to formulate. Living on one floor feels such a relief, even if the laundry is in the basement. I miss my old neighborhood, though it is only a mile away. But live near old friends now, and the number of times people drop by has made me very happy. This new neighborhood is very popular, and a rather exciting place to contemplate for the coming decades, as so much is walkable, easy and fun. The light is different, and seeing how light falls in and on the house at the various times of day is one of the exciting things to discover.
Theoretically I believe in small house living. But is interesting to rub up against one’s limits and figure out what is important.
@shawbridge, yes. Marin is expensive and a place on the water, even more so.
I don’t want to oversell Marin because it is expensive.
Edit: And as was pointed out to me, and its true, traffic can be a nightmare.
I would never want to convince my wife on something so major like a move across a country and where friends are left behind.
There was a great Ted Talk recently about a Harvard study that is still on going. The study has been running 75 years. The study looked at 724 men. There are still 60 who are still alive. Plus the study is looking at 2,000 offspring of the original 724 men.
What makes for a happy, successful, long life?
The answer is relationships. The answer was not money or careers or fame. Relationships. Great, meaningful relationships make for a happy successful long life.
So… I keep this in mind.
That’s what we figured out house hunting. I wanted to stay in the area where I’ve lived so long and made so many connections.
@eyemamom, no, you’re not. From post #69 of this thread:
We downsized in terms of yard, pool, etc., and number of bedrooms. But our square footage is actually a couple of hundred feet bigger than our old very large house. That’s because there is a good 1000 feet that DH converted to his office-it has a large room for his office, a mini kitchen, bathroom, and tv room. Also, the master suite is huge and has two full baths. So we “downsized,” yet we didn’t exactly.
As I get older, family and friends become a lot more important. I don’t think I would want to move to a new place and have to start all over again in making friends. Living in NYC, most of my friends are nearby, but even with friends who have moved away, they all come through NYC at some point. It is the same reason my kids want to stay in NYC. A lot of their international friends do come through NYC.
I could have spent a lot less money and had a nicer house if I had chosen a different neighborhood in my city. But location, and friends are the essence of quality of life. Though I do think there are differences between single and coupled in terms of scope of acceptable locations.
Wow! This thread is all over the place! I think only a move will force you to really go through everything. I grew up in Marin County and think it is a wonderful place to visit. If I came back, I would look in a more southern area like Los Gatos( below Palo Alto).
We’re cleaning our my mother’s place now. Don’t do this to your kids.
My parents put their single family home on sale. They got rid of a lot of stuff but have rooms of furniture. None of the kids want anything. When the house is sold most of it will be donated. It is very good quality furniture and enough beds to fill 7 bedrooms. My mom offered me a china set that I had always liked but I don’t have the space or need for it. Once dd moves out it will just be me and I am already thinking what items can be used to furnish her apt. (I really don’t have much collected to get rid off)
@dstark, @Nrdsb4 and @oldfort, friends and relationships are definitely important to both ShawWife and me. I took a leave of absence as a professor and spent 5 years working on Wall Street many years ago and the move was both tough and very valuable for ShawWife as she is a painter so her working day is mostly spent alone. She had to meet new people but it did help her career by the end of it. I think moving to a place we didn’t know people would be difficult.
I have fewer friends than ShawWife, who is not only a wonderful and generous person but seriously social. I have a number of close friends, but they are not concentrated in any geographic location. So, I can live any place. I do get some benefit from a university affiliation in my local area and by virtue of having lived in this area for most of 30 years, we seem to know many people who have gone on to do interesting things. Dinner party conversations can sometimes be really interesting. But, when we were in Marin, we started with some friends and then met more interesting people – VCs, artists, writers, tech folks. Because we started with friends, it was much easier for ShawWife.
Why was I mentioned in a post about the importance of friends?
As we get older and the kids move on with their own life it is important to have a daily routine and have a social outlet or sense of community.
No idea @Nrdsb4. I’m moving too fast I guess.
Here is a nice article on what it is like to live in a tiny home.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/money/realestate/this-is-what-its-really-like-to-live-in-a-tiny-house/ar-BBtn7gb?li=BBnb7Kz