We just had the kids over for dinner and went through a bunch of stuff, not just their old stuff but stuff of ours as well.
We divided stuff into three groups - take now, take later when they have more room, and never want.
We filled a couple of garbage bags with stuff nobody wants, and DW has an appointment at a consignment shop to try to sell a bunch of stuff.
I want the coconut monkey carving, HiToWaMom!
I have a few elementary school teacher friends that are always looking for stuff for their “reward buckets”. I’ve gotten rid of lots of the kids old items that way which was better than throwing into the trash. Craft kits, small games, figurines, and such. They were thrilled because they didn’t need to spend more money out of their own pockets.
I asked them about it all. The particularly precious stuffed animal collection had to be largely “re-homed”. D and I went through together and she sorted about 2/3 out to get rid of. But she asked if they could remain together. 
As they are all the same species, I was able to offer them free as a group on Freecycle. A mom and her 9 year old came and got them. The remainder can live in a basket in the guest room for now.
I have them take a pass through their books every time they are home, too. We have gradually whittled them down.
Thank you all for your input. I thought kids would have more difficult time parting with their stuff, especially if they see them in person and know that their parents can manage to keep them. Maybe I will wait until they come home for visit during summer and go over together. Maybe I’m worrying too much that they wouldn’t let go anything and use us as free storage.
I still have boxes to organize in the basement of my downsize house from the move. Due to projects as well as still working, it is taking some time to get around to this task. Now one D is getting married and then moving overseas. She and spouse will bring their possessions here in the summer for the two year stint. The wall of bins seems to be a feature of life that will never end.
@“great lakes mom” Isn’t it wonderful that you can still do something for your daughter? 
Who knows where life takes us but I don’t see moving, really ever. We live in a quiet, walkable area where the houses front on lanes and parks. We built the house 8 years ago, putting our bedroom and everything else we need downstairs. Upstairs is just the kids rooms and extra space. Our downsize eventually will just be a refusal to go upstairs, LOL. As for following the kids to other cities, I know I am bucking the norm but I do not see doing that either. Hopefully one at least will be nearby, but otherwise the house will be available for them to visit and will be able to accommodate their families as they grow. The grandchildren will grow up making vacation trips to the hometown of their family, gaining an appreciation not only for this city but also their family roots. But check back with me in ten years to see how this plan is going.
I am very conflicted about my future “right sizing” plans. I keep going back and forth between different plans.
I currently have 1 kid in college and a HS sophomore. I have a home on 6 acres, about 30 minutes commute from my work. I am committed to staying in this home until the youngest graduates high school, because I do not want him to have to change schools this late in his schooling. And if/when I do move, I’d rather broaden my search beyond one high school area.
Once the youngest moves out, do I downsize? It’s hard for me to keep the house and property maintained by myself, while working full time. I am so tired! But downsizing would have a big negative effect on the living situations of my horse and dog (they are family, and I am committed to their care). And once I retire, my current property is exactly what I want! Retirement is 10-15 years away.
“It’s hard for me to keep the house and property maintained by myself, while working full time.”
@Mommertons Can you provide boarding for other people’s horses and use that $ to hire some help with maintenance until you retire?
@doschicos - I do toy with that idea from time to time. My property isn’t super appealing for boarders (no arena, no direct access to trails), but it could maybe work.
It is a huge priority with H and me to live near our kids. We would like to be able to help with grandkids and spend a lot of time with them. We missed that raising our kids 800 or so miles away from our families. Now my mom is in assisted living and I wish I were closer for her.
@mommertons: Your place sounds ideal. If this is where you want to live long-term, I’d stay there – assuming you can afford to maintain it all by both doing it yourself and paying to have some of it done.
We would be happy living near our kids…but right now…they live 2500 miles apart…so we can’t live near both. Plus…the likelihood of either staying where they are permanently is very small. And really…I don’t want to relocate to where either of them lives now!
That’s part of the reason we’re strongly considering retiring to northern VA. S2 lives in DC and he’s much less likely to move around than S1 is - even though S1 is the only one who has a child at this point.
Sometimes I worry about leaving our current area and then not being able to afford to come back if we want to. We live in a HCOL area, and I know people who left, and have never been able to buy back in. Sometimes I think of right-sizing to a place that’s fairly close by, but has more of the amenities we want for retirement. But there’s nothing wrong with our current place, and it seems silly to move, and then maybe move again. I spend a fair amount of time thinking about this topic, but I haven’t figured out the best option for us. My husband plans to work 4 or so more years, so for now we are visiting potential retirement destinations.
A headline in our local news is that the millenniums and boomers all want the same thing—
smaller, walkable and so on and we are fighting each other for the same properties.
I wish my D could afford to buy our house as it is great for a family. And the best schools. But that
cannot happen anytime soon and we are getting emotionally ready for a change.
I worry about a condo–if the neighbors smoke or if cooking smells are bothersome. I just do not
want to take care of the roof or the driveway or the …anymore. Feeling stuck.
When we are in our 80’s I can see another downsizing, major move to an apartment in the city son will be in. It will be a lot more convenient for him as we have more mental and physical issues by then. For now living in a house, with all of its care, works. Distance, 3000 or 300 miles (or even 30 I suspect), doesn’t make any difference in how often we would see him now. Who knows where he will be in several years.
Sent 7 plus pounds of toy cars and trucks to a nephew (those medium flat rate USPS boxes are fantastic) with a young son recently. We had hauled them with us several years ago because it is hard to find the variety of trucks. Son’s terse email answer to giving them away was “yep, give away”. I took group photos and H also did individual ones of which he sent several. Son’s reply was a what about a specific moving van (there were three different company ones)- memories from his childhood. He’ll get to play with them at his cousin’s house- local for him. Over the years I had given away most of the toys he had outgrown, only some stuff made the long move for sentimental reasons. Some classic kid books and the Legos/Duplos will stay forever.
We culled as much as we felt comfortable doing with our move and now that years have gone by we gave away some stuff we now know we will never use. There is more we could get rid of but we have the closet/bookshelf space. Plus- H and I would save/give away different things.
There is freedom in getting rid of stuff. Living in the now and not the past. The best part of a downsizing move is having a fresh start on one’s home environment. An excuse to get rid of things you never/no longer want (some of those gifts- they accumulate over the years). Furniture that seemed right decades ago but not now. Just because we’re (getting) old it doesn’t mean we have to keep everything.
@wis75 : “Just because we’re (getting) old it doesn’t mean we have to keep everything.” Thank you for that. I need the reminder.
Now that dh is on board with downsizing, he seems to want a fresh start in the new house. With the exception of a couple of very comfortable chairs that are in like-new condition, and our new bed, he doesn’t want to take any of our current furniture to the next house. I’ll point out something and suggest taking it, and he’ll reply that I bought it at a consignment store because it fit the space and the price was right - not because I loved it - and say nope, we can donate it. Even some of the sentimental things aren’t likely to make the move. We’ll take photos of them in case we ever want to reminisce.
Vistajay, I am with you. Saw a very nice small house with a full finished basement the other day. A little voice in my head said ‘I don’t care how nice the basement room is; I am never going down those stairs.’ Another house set on a sloped lot had a great rear deck, but the deck was two TWO STAIRCASES above grade. Nope, crossed it off my list because I would never enjoy the backyard having to climb those stairs or walk around from the front yard. LOL