There are kids who take the bus to college and branch out academically and artistically and intellectually and spiritually- and kids who are 3,000 miles away from home who replicate their parents lifestyles with the frat/sorority substituting for the country club.
I would STRONGLY urge all the parents here to encourage their kid to opt to room with a stranger for freshman year. It may be wonderful, it may be horrible, but at least it will make sure your kid doesnât fall back into their HS persona by virtue of living with someone who has known them since they were 13. For a kid who needs/wants a reboot, living with someone who knows all your own baggage can be a real trap.
OP- shy introverts can thrive ANYWHERE. Donât let that become the defining characteristic of a college. There are kids who hid during HS but become the business manager for their a cappella group, organizing tours around the world and navigating interview requests and negotiating licensing and recording deals. There are kids who hid during HS but are helping a professor organize an exhibit of rare ephemera in the U library and end up as co-author of the scholarly monograph and co-host of a podcast discussing why the exhibit is so significant. There are LOTS of kids who hid during HS because there were virtually no social outlets which interested them, but they blossom in college because at a big school there is âevery typeâ, and at a small school (if itâs big enough) itâs easier to find your people.
One of mine is an extreme introvert and we pretty much spent four years of college wondering âwho are you and what did you do with our kid?â
No, kid never changed (still hasnât). Needs alone time to recharge, doesnât like big parties, reserved among strangers. But got involved to a degree which was kind of shocking-- because the opportunities were there, professors were intensely interested in âlighting a sparkâ, and because you live, eat, sleep, study in the same spaces, it became very easy very quickly to blur the lines between socializing, volunteering, studying, researching, etc. Won a competitive fellowship (this was a kid who hated competing at ANYTHING) because a professor insisted âyou must apply for this or I wonât stop bugging youâ.
Mid-sized university- about 7,000 undergrads, 5,000 grad students (on the same campus). We figured four years of good academics but relative anonymity and we were REALLY wrong!
I view this trip as an amazing opportunity to see different parts of the US and think it is very generous you are including him. Such different regional foods, political views will be on full display with road side signs, different architecture and climate. Enjoy !
Is there a reason you are coming from Iowa instead of flying into Minn/St. Paul?
St. Olaf is so small I donât remember our tour being more than an hour or so. And that was with the information session. While there isnât much to see, there is a lot to learn.
Itâs one of the places that I wouldnât want to self-tour as what S23 found the most intriguing was hearing about the honor code and all the small things about the library, bike lending, cup lending, etc.
Plus, then youâll get a look at the actual town of Northfield. St. Olaf is kind of up on its own little hill and the town isnât really walkable (it is, but you wouldnât want to do it if there was an alternative), but they do have regular van service. I think Charleton can be a quick self guided tour or even just a drive through.
I agree with this. Both my kids instinctively and immediately rejected at least three colleges merely by seeing the campus. At one college, my son stated, as a particular building came into view, âI am not going here.â We did a tour anyway, which confirmed that he was not going there. With my eldest, we did an initial driveby in the summer, and she didnât like the upscale, manicured area. We went back for a âproperâ visit, and she liked it even less.
We should not have wasted time at either school. The point being that if your child immediately dislikes what they see, I think thatâs a good enough reason to skip a campus tour and do something more fun instead.
I agree, itâs so generous of you to include the exchange student! I predict he will have a great time and will learn soooo much about the US on that trip.
I like that both kids get to do this together. While there could be a worry of influence (as in âugh, isnât that lameâ to someone who was thinking "i kinda love this!), getting to bounce ideas and impressions off each other should be helpful. My kid would definitely say it was better than traveling alone with parents!
So true. On our last spring break tour we took Dâs best friend. It was great as she thought of things that my D hadnât considered. Plus it was fun!
Agreed. My D23 was accepted to Carleton but not to Wesleyan. She was waitlisted mostly at schools where she was above the 75th percentile for stats and accepted to those that were reaches for all. So I wouldnât rule out Carleton if you have Vassar, Bates, Wes, etc. on the list. I think if youâre in the area near Carleton and your son thinks heâd like to see it, visit. (I wouldnât cross it off the list because it seems harder to get into than WesâŠmy D was accepted at Carleton and waitlisted at Skidmore, for example, though Carleton would seem to be the harder to get into).
My daughter went on several tour with her cousin, to colleges we couldnât afford, but she enjoyed it anyway (and then Covid hit and she couldnât tour any colleges more affordable).
My S22 attends a college heâd never visited before he arrived with his bags in hand in Fall 22 and is doing great. My D20 visited her school twice before committing and has not had the best experience. Sometimes I think we put a little too much emphasis on visits and fit.
I forgot to mention that we might well sync up with at least one friend for at least part of the spring trip. And he has friends from his summer in France living around Manhattan and is hoping for a mini-reunion. So thatâs something else fun to look forward to.
Oh, sure. And so much of oneâs impression of a school comes down to random events like the weather on a given day, or how good or bad the tour guide is. A friend of ours had a very dim view of Clark University after a crappy tour/presentation â but Iâve read very different impressions in the long thread about how college visits changed peopleâs minds about various schools.
I think for us, Iâm hoping that the visits will catalyze some discussions about how college will work â what he wants to do and experience, and the kind of person he wants to be. I think, too, that it gives him more of a sense of agency (aside from the obvious filling out the applications).
Yes, RD to both. Also had results like RD waitlist Denison and same at MoHo but RD acceptances to Vassar, Wellesley, Bowdoin, Bates, Pomona, others. There are so many factors involved. As long as itâs affordable and he has a shot, I wouldnât rule it out preemptively (of course if he doesnât think itâs a fit or doesnât want to write the essays, etc., thatâs different). As you noted, some schools are more heavily skewed ED. Some consider ability to pay or likelihood of yielding the applicant. (Or any number of other institutional priorities).
