I can relate to this “no rushes of affection” thing. I also felt this way and questioned my ability to love at all until I had a child. Then it came rushing in and is still there 16 years later. You might not have to wait that long, but it’s also very valuable to have somebody you’re just comfortable and happy to be with. But don’t rush relationships just because everybody around you is dating, this is a recipe for unhappiness.
And yes, there are 7 billion people on the planet, and you’re not the smartest or most attractive. In fact, nobody is. Geniuses and superstars probably have more self-doubt than us mere mortals, and I’ve known quite a few very attractive women who were unhappy in their relationships. “Give it time” is probably not a very new or encouraging advice, but it’s still true.