<p>The school never said exactly what was wrong with the dress. Where exactly did it violate the dress code? When compared to the friend’s dress, I am hard pressed to understand how she violated the dress code and her friend did not. </p>
<p>Seems that it would be a simple matter to point out the exact part of the rule that was broken. I have no idea why the school did not do this. That is what makes this seem so arbitrary. </p>
<p>And the way the mother was handled is just bizarre. It makes so sense that the principal refused to meet with her.</p>
<p>With seniors, behavior was not related to the way they were dressed, my biggest problems were with the boys.I didn’t chaperone events where my daughter was present, and I didn’t know most of the kids, and wasn’t stymied by their inappropriate behavior.
For the most part they were well behaved and very sweet.
I really enjoyed chaperoning, and admired the experienced teachers who did so every year, then taught class the next day!</p>
<p>On the other hand, I think you can expect bad karma when you name your kid after a brand of margarine…</p>
<p>But seriously, the code’s requirement that clothing be “decent” gives the principal ridiculous power. I’ve never see that kind of language in any dress code.</p>
<p>I think there are two different issues here.</p>
<p>One is whether the school was right in forcing this student to wear a coat at the dance. I agree that it was an overreaction.</p>
<p>The other is whether the school was right to have mom arrested. Honestly, I don’t feel like I have a clear picture of what happened when mom came up to school. These stories are so one sided, because confidentiality concerns limit what the school can say or explain. I can’t tell if this mom was doing what I might have done, which is walk calmly to the office, sign in, show ID, ask politely if the principal is available, when told no indicate that I’ll wait until he’s available, and have a seat in the office. Or was she doing something completely different? Something that might have involved not following procedures, screaming and yelling, going to other parts of the building without permission.</p>
<p>I do think that schools need to have the ability to limit who is in their building, and to ask people to leave if they are disruptive or unsafe. I think it’s a little bit like an airplane, where the pilot makes the final decision about who is onboard. However, without knowing what happened in the school I can’t comment on whether she needed to be escorted out, or arrested. </p>
<p>I don’t think it’s fair to say that this mom was arrested because her kid was “dress coded”. Clearly something else happened between the dance and the arrest.</p>
<p>Although I agree that the dress was no tighter or shorter than her friends’, she was showing cleavage, whereas they don’t appear to be. I certainly wouldn’t call it indecent, and thought the principal went too far by labeling it as such, but if I had the dress code in front of me, there would be no doubt in my mind that the way the dress fit her was in violation of school policy. </p>
<p>Regardless, this was a 9th grade dance, not the senior prom. The D wasn’t asked to leave or punished other than by being asked to throw on a t shirt or a wrap. There were five other girls also “dress coded.” Absent some kind of a history with the girl or her (histrionic) mother, I don’t see much evidence to support the contention that the girl was singled out.</p>
<p>There is a local principal at a catholic middle school. She is new to the job.</p>
<p>She required all girls in 7th and 8th grade submit photosmof themselves in the out fits they were to wear to grad dance four days aheadof time. Including shoes, shawls, accessories… Not such request for the boys.</p>
<p>Most parens found it really creepy but as it was such a shock and on such short notice to protest en masses they complied. </p>
<p>Many moms said their daughters hadn’t finalized choices etc.</p>
<p>If this had been my kid, i would have sent in ten pictures of all the outfits my d was trying to pick from, even if we just did it at the mall.</p>
<p>According to the moms, the dress code for the dances was a very minor issues with almost all not pushing any boundaries when it came to length, straps, cleavage etc.</p>
<p>Oh and you showed up in a different outfit, maybe one even more covered up, you would not be able to attend the dance.</p>