I take my youngest, S20 to his school a week from Tuesday. I was avoiding all the dorm shopping for so long, waiting for it to be cancelled. Now we are going and I’m trying to get everything prepared. We are flying and have a 2 hour move-in window. I won’t have an empty nest however, since my D17 is staying home and doing her online college from here for at least Fall semester.
I managed not to cry all day, but then cried as we were leaving the dorm room. My son hugged me and said he loved me - in that moment I knew a chapter had closed.
My husband seemed indifferent, but a couple days later he was tossing and turning in bed and couldn’t sleep. The next day his brother asked him if it was weird not having our son home and he got tears in his eyes.
I’m a sap about change and time passing in general. I always say if I could turn back the clock I’d go back to the birth of my eldest and do it all over again.
I’m the parent of an only. I was a SAHM mom her whole life. Big, big adjustment. Drop off was OK for us freshman year. D was so happy and excited that it wasn’t hard to feed off of that. It was much harder being back at the house without her.
We were also in the camp of “keep busy.” I started taking long walks every day, and picked up some new hobbies - gardening and baking. (All Covid friendly activities).
I found that sophomore year was harder because she took herself to school. Very crazy feeling watching her drive away.
This year we are going down with her because there is no way she can fit everything in her car because she’s living alone so isn’t splitting the small appliances and stuff. I fully expect to cry the entire ride home.
Like @momofsenior1 I was a stay at home mother of one. It was a very difficult adjustment when my daughter went off to college. My husband would find me just sitting on the floor in the hall crying. She and I are very close (still are and she is 26 now) and she was always a home body (never even went to sleepovers).
My husband still says that when we said goodbye, he wasn’t sure she was going to last the night (she is still living in that city 8 years later.)
I adjusted by visiting her a few times that first semester and finding things to do to stay busy. Those things are harder to do right now. I started cleaning up the house right away (going through closets etc. decluttering). I am still cleaning up (I don’t think that every ends). It was sad, but we all adjusted over time.
I left my youngest last year. I had a little practice because much of summer of 2018 she worked away at a camp. So Fall of 2019 I did okay but we also saw her every few weeks. DH complains more about the kids being gone than I do.
One thing that I like, though it doesn’t work for everyone, is having a Snapchat streak with my kids. It’s a daily “sign of life” and particularly my youngest tries to send something interesting or aesthetic or a cute selfie (not just a black screen that says Streaks). A tiny look into her day that I enjoy.
I remember feeling the same way. It was just so different than dropping off the older two as there was no kid at home. I work full time so that helped. That first weekend we went to a jazz fest at the beach. But I honestly wanted some time to be a bit sad quietly and did not make a lot of social plans for a few weeks. My youngest is not the most talkative so we often only spoke once a week. It gets better. You get used to them being gone. I spent more time at the gym and took an art class. He came home the first summer but then spent the next ones at school. After his junior year, he and I took a camping trip out west which was a really nice way to reconnect since he wasn’t coming home for the summer.
He moved home last September for what was supposed to be a brief time until he saved enough for an apartment. But between not loving his job and now Covid, seems like he will be here for the foreseeable future. Definitely mostly good having him home.
I am also someone who would do it all over again if I could! I don’t like how quickly time is flying by, even with Covid. We do get out to do socially distant visits with friends, but I worry about what the fall will bring.
Hugs OP!