<p>i wouldn’t think the percentage of kids using drugs recreationally would be any different at an ivy league than a state school.</p>
<p>
Come to think of it, I agree with you. This is kinda like saying guns turn people in murderers or something to that effect.</p>
<p>we all have episodes taht can go either way
it is interesting that the OP doesn’t have a teen or older, so I assume is speaking from observation of her peers.
I don’t think that drug use means somebody is * bad* but it * could be* indicative of a deeper concern and is worth paying attention to
Depending on age/personality of child- it could be a real cry for help- or it could just be indicative of an adrenaline seeking personality.</p>
<p>I look at tv and what do I see everyday- are you sad, depressed,- take this prescrition, do you want to be the life of the party- drink</p>
<p>We adults are very hypocritical when it comes to medication</p>
<p>Many kids with isues do drugs- alcohol is a big one- to self medicate</p>
<p>Sure many kids do drugs (and make sure we think of ALL of the them) to get high, but for many, it is medication</p>
<p>When I see stuff - can’t get it up- take this, want to please your lady, take this, can’t deal with any stress in life, take this, a bit nervous, take this</p>
<p>kids see this all the time, and when they self medicate, we get all angry, but when our adult friends do it, its okay</p>
<p>I don’t like kids taking drugs or drinking, but our society has made medicating yourself for pretty much anything the thing to do</p>
<p>Lots of kids need ADHD meds, many others need prozac (I guess), </p>
<p>it is not always being bored or not busy enough, I know of some kids who are so busy they do the uppers route (legal ones so far) so they can do their homework at 2am</p>
<p>kids who are overwhelmed with life do drugs, kids who have not been properly diagnosed and treated for depression with self-medicate, kids with really bad home situations will drink, kids being bullied will pop a pill…it is so much more than being bored</p>
<p>So we must be careful to say, well sports and keeping them busy will fix it, it won’t</p>
<p>I think kids need GOALS and a FUTURE as a reason to avoid drugs. </p>
<p>I have seen kids that should know better get dragged down by pot use to the point of losing a good job, losing any hope of a reference from that good job, and basically losing any hope of getting ahead by getting high in the bathroom during working hours.</p>
<p>Sports are one answer for our kids – the peer/team pressure to not mess up the season with substance abuse is pretty powerful (most of the time!).</p>
<p>but we have to really look because there are kids with chemical imbalances that do drugs to try and “balance” themselves out, and just saying, oh, look to the future and have a plan does little to help</p>
<p>There is no one thing that will work, and for a kid who is depressed, etc, no amount of sports will fix everything</p>
<p>I knew of a boy who drank, and he tried to commit suicide, and he played baseball, alot, he was clinicaly depressed, but no one saw it </p>
<p>It this well, play sports, have a goal, have a plan and then everything will be okay is missing the fact that many kids have so many other issues that send them to drugs that are often ignored</p>
<p>We act like its the lazy, unmotivated, off track kids that are the only ones that get drunk, party, do speed, whatever…it is often the best, the brightest, the busiest that do</p>
<p>I disagree citymom…I, like many other teens, have thought about trying drugs, although I wouldnt touch the hard stuff, but the main reason why I have not has been because they may cause a detrimental effect on my academics. So yea.</p>
<p>PrimeTime has it right. It’s a crap shoot.</p>
<p>More than a few parents experimented with drugs in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s and came out none the worse for wear. Many others were not so lucky. And it does come down to luck. Consider yourself lucky if you can walk away from experimenting with drugs. I know 50 year olds who still smoke pot–one was an athlete recruited for Major league Baseball. </p>
<p>Sport has nothing to do with resistance to addiction, though goals do help as do positive peer influences. Still it comes down to luck for an awful lot of students.</p>
<p>First you have a risk-taking personality who dares to experiment. As a rule, teenagers seek risk. Then you have the roulette wheel of body chemistry. If the body craves the junk, the student is done. If the body can take or leave the junk, you’ve beat the gambit.</p>
<p>It was to good to hear from some students in the earlier posts. They bring up an excellent point. There is a lot of recreational drug use in high school, even by those who are relatively high achievers</p>
<p>Programs like DARE paint such a bleak picture of drug use that they lose credibility and have been shown to not be terribly effective.</p>
<p>And yet… because high school kids are more likely than adults to lack the moderation needed to keep a recreational habit from be coming a serious problem, we need to continue to emphasize a no-tolerance rule regarding kids and drug use. That’s the short-term goal.</p>
<p>The long-term goal is to ingrain concepts like moderation and balance becuase we will never be able to total schedule our kids’ every waking moment. And we will not be able to so at all when they leave home.</p>
<p>My sons both like math. and would like to pursue it in college Since I am a dad, I am allowed to come up with little odd tidbits of wisdom at the dinner table. One of my favorites is “a mathematician getting stoned is like Jessica Alba chasing down a cheesecake with a milkshake”.</p>
<p>Why disagree? Are you disagreeing that some kids have chemical imbalances, that some kids are depressed, that some kids have bad family lives, that some kids do drugs to escape from bad lives? </p>
<p>All I am saying is that if we get lazy, and jsut say, well, if you get kids into sports and keep them busy, you don’t have to worry…that if we set goals, push academics, that kids won’t do drugs</p>
<p>I am saying it is not so simple and to think it is is being naive</p>
<p>I’m a student (In the parent’scafe;)) and attend a high school where drug use is pretty rampant. The school’s tried to crackdown with monthly drug searches but this mostly just results in cancelled morning classes (not officially cancelled, but in a lockdown where we are not allowed to leave the room for 2-3 hours) and the same students getting caught every month; the smart ones have found ways to trick the search dogs and the others just never learn from their mistakes. Luckily, I’m in full-time dual enrollment and am able to avoid that environment most of the time (ironically, the community college I attend has a much less prevelant drug/alcohol scene). </p>
<p>What I find interesting though, is the school has changed so much between the time that my older sister attended and the time that I started (three years after her). I think a lot of the possible causes have been brought up in this thread: too much free time, too little supervision, and peer pressure. I’m not sure if this also contributed to the problem, but it seems that the increase in drug-use occured about the same time as the school became “richer.” Most parents now give their kids tons of money so that their children won’t bother them about being stuck at home with nothing to do. What I don’t think most parents realize (or want to accept) is where this money is disappearing to; drugs and alcohol. As long as this flow of money is handed to the students, I don’t see this problem really being fixed. I personally think that it would be better if the parents were paying for organized activities (sports, drama, etc.) instead of just handing their kids a blank check every week, but I’m not a parent ;)</p>
<p>I don’t think Adderall/Ritalin are as popular at my school, but I’m sure they probably are at more competitive ones with the increased pressure. Even if you look on here, some of the high school boards and others have quite a few threads about the “miracle study drug.” I know one CC poster in real life, that has been trying to “self-medicate” his ADD. His quest for a miracle drug has pretty much consumed his life, which is really extremely sad :(</p>
<p>I guess what I meant to say in this huge post, is that drugs can really have horrible consequences and for those that can try drugs once and then not be addicted, they are extremely lucky. I’ve lost lots of friends to drugs and am glad that I wasn’t one of them. I was lucky to have involved parents and a busy sports-filled life to keep me away from them. For what its worth though, I really don’t think DARE and the other programs were really very helpful. Most of the friends I lost to drugs were the same ones sitting next to me during those classes.</p>
<p>Dadguy, GREAT post. You’re right, the most important thing parents can imbibe in their children is moderation. Responsibility and maturity come when parents show their love for their children and always provide reassurance. The kids at my school who I know do drugs have parents on both extremes of the control spectrum. A dealer in our grade has extremely LENIENT parents who allow him to smoke, etc. The buyers vary–kids with controlling parents, the kids who would “never do drugs.” The buyers also include children of IGNORANt parents. One kid in our grade did a lot of drugs, so his parents give him a mandatory weekly drug test. The consequence? He is now addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. The moral of the story? His parents are missing the point. The problem is not the occasional joint/cigarette/party drink. The problem is what is driving this boy to turn to so many addictive, risky behaviors. Control isn’t the issue here, but many parents seem to think so. Fear won’t stop teens, so DARE only incites curiosity. Parents who are always there for their kids, provide healthy outlets during free time, and who show love and understanding WON’T produce addicts.</p>
<p>DARE was a failure, it wasn’t that it made kids curious, it was just not a good program…in the program kids were mislead, and when you lie to a kid, they will not trust you about other parts of what you are saying, it wasn’t curiousity, it was just a stupid program that failed </p>
<p>And just providing healthy outlets, etc, and love and understanding is not enough…mental illness is high among teens, so is depression</p>
<p>I know a girl who was hearing voices, couldn’t sleep, etc., if her parents weren’t on top of it, this wonderful girl might have started drinking to “kill the demons”</p>
<p>Is is amazing to me how few people see that there are many underlying problems, and not just boredom or lack of caring parents that cause many kids to do drugs</p>
<p>And, ps, really good, caring parents have kids who are addicts, yes they do, so by your logic, if a kids becomes an addict, their parents didn’t care…</p>
<p>Kids become addicts with caring parents, with bad parents, with good parents…the issues are so much deeper and I am suprised that on this forum with so many smart people that people don’t recognize it</p>
<p>recreational use isn’t necessarily bad… it depends on the situation and the extent.</p>
<p>From what I’ve seen most parents don’t want to admit to themselves that their kids have a problem with drugs, so then nothing happens to help the kid. And the schools just do not care. Some of my friends whom I have been hanging out with since 7th grade are now very heavy into drugs (not just weed, but coke, heroine, and other harder drugs) They began smoking pot freshmen year of high school. By junior year most had been caught by their parents a few times, but had received nothing more than a slap on the wrist. They started to really really get into drugs, not just weed and I began talking/hanging out with them less and less. When I came back for the beginning of senior year. I found out they were busted for possession, yet they were still ditching school to smoke. Their parents were still letting them go out and get high and they’d come to class stoned and the teachers just didn’t care enough to intervene. This is when they started to move on past sh rooms, opium, and pot and onto cocaine. Their grades also took a major hit. One, who was a B-student, freshmen - junior year ended up getting straight D-‘s. Every week, we’d talk and they’d say how their parents found their stash or caught them high, but they just simply wouldn’t do anything about it. They didn’t even get a slap on the wrist. Finally, one of my friends’ parents decided enough was enough, and they shipped him off to drug rehab in North Dakota. After about 2 months of rehab we finally heard back from him and the rehab clinic had no effect on him. The rest continue to use drugs and they are beginning to make even worse decisions (driving drunk, mixing drugs, etc…) They are now at the point that the only person who can help them is themselves. Personally, I do not understand why their parents did not step in when they first discovered they were using. Becoming addicted to drugs is ultimately the kid’s choice, but i think the parent has an obligation to their child to step in once they know about it. Because once you get used to using and not getting punished then no one, not even yourself, will be able to stop you.</p>
<p>Wow terrible story, even worse parenting!</p>
<p>well… discovering that also some “non-parents” has posted their opinion I will put here also the private message I sended to Magen…</p>
<p>Hi Magen…</p>
<p>I answer you that way because I am not a parent and so it would be false to post my message in parents cafe also if I think there should be a forum where “kids” and “parents” can be discus the problems they have with each other. </p>
<p>You said that you think that sports can steer away kids from taking drugs. You are wrong… Kids decide by thereselfs if they wanna take them or not. Sports can be a way to keep them busy and to get them involved in a group of kids where you will think that they probably must be in good contact, but it don’t have to be like this. </p>
<p>I have been 15 when I started to take drugs. At this time I was also playing tennis and was going to HipHop Dancing. But that hasn’t prevent me from trying and taking drugs. I get though in it. I started by smoking weed and before I turned 16 I also has taken most of chemical drugs. The reason why I has done it was that I had problems at home and also with myself. I felt me unloved and not adorable. I felt that I was missing something and I everytime when I’ve been at my friends home and when I saw how harmonic they live I was even more sad. I started to go out from friday or thursday evening till late Sunday. Sometimes I wasn’t at home for all the time. I was only partying in the discotheques or hanging out with friends and all the time I has been on drugs. I couldn’t sleep because of the amphitamines and I lost weight because I lost the feeling of being hungry. With a height from 1,73cm my weight was 46 Kilos. Maybe you will think that only kids like me could happen this, kids which are in trouble at home or with other problems. But that isn’t true. There also have been kids with rich parents and which hadn’t a problem with them or with something else. They only wanted to try it and they wanted to be cool. Thats all.</p>
<p>Nowadays I won’t say anymore that the people I hung around with have been my friends but at this time they have been something like a family. It has taken long to get out there and I lost a couple of friends dying cause of drug abuse. In a few days turns the second day of death of good friend of mine. She was like my sister because she was there for me when I need her and she paid attention from me at my wild time because I was the youngest one in the group. I missed to pay attention on her and now it is too late. She was dying at home in her bed cause of an overdose of heroin. </p>
<p>If you want to keep away kids from drugs be there for them. Accept them like they are and try to remember how you felt when you was young. And if you discover that they are taking drugs don’t be angry or sad and don’t try to put them in drug abuse clinics. Show them a way to get out there with your help.</p>
<p>My mum has been very worried when she discovered what I am doing but she was there for me… every day at every hour. She tried to understand me and she hasn’t kept me closed in my room. She nevertheless allowed me to go out… she talked to me to understand what I am feeling on drugs and why I take them. </p>
<p>Well, what would I say. I’ve been for 3 years on a trip… and it has taken even longer to get completly out of drugs… But I finished school and at this moment I am sitting in the library of my University and write my final thesis. In 4 weeks I have to hand it in and than I will get my diploma here in Germany and in october I will get the second one in Italy because I participate at a double diploma program of study. I tell you this because I wanna say you that also if the way my life has taken wasn’t the best one I reached the goal I set me in the age of 16! To stay one day ahead a crowd of people with a diploma in my hands…</p>
<p>Have a nice day and don’t worry… </p>
<p>Best regards, Mogli </p>
<p>P.S. Sorry for my english… hope that everything was intelligible for you.</p>
<p>I think the best way to handle drugs is to make sure teenagers realise that they can get you into trouble that your parents cant ‘fix’. I dont think it has anythign to do with sport or classes, i know kids studying medicine and law that use more drugs than the art student. Yet parents have no idea as they just assume since the kids are ‘smart’ that they would behave themselves. </p>
<p>In all honesty i knew kids who had really strict parents and while in high school they rarely drank and never smoked etc once they hit university and were out of home they went wild. In many ways the kids who got it out of their systems in high school are now mostly really strait and focused on work/study. Obviously its not a nice risk to take as drugs do cause damage… its just that as teenagers we are taught ‘you will die’, yet you see kids come to school each monday from a huge weekend and they are not dead. Its unfortunate that some people can ‘get over it’ and move on with thier life with limited or no damage while others completely destroy themselves. It must be truely terrifying for parents. </p>
<p>Its important to realise its your life and your going to have to pull yourself out of any hole you dig. (well thats my opinion… why make life tougher)</p>