<p>^^ borderline related?!?!? Not even close IMHO - and has not a thing in common with what happened to the students at Duke.</p>
<p>I have told my son that he could easily be perceived as a privileged, careless, good-old-boy. I have told him how District Attorneys get and keep their jobs, and we have discussed the fact that rape accusations are taken quite seriously in our country. And I have advised him not to seek out trashy people, particularly in sexual situations. Will he follow my advice? I have no idea, but he has been warned.</p>
<p>The boys chose to hire people of dubious reputation to entertain them sexually. They didn’t deserve what they got, and I do think they can take the experience and turn it into something positive in their lives. I was quite impressed with the young Evans man, can’t recall his first name, on 60 Minutes. But I do believe a great many people are a lot less naive now.</p>
<p>
They were seeking <em>visual</em> entertainment. I believe that none of them were “entertained sexually” by these “dancers,” though apparently quite a few others were before they showed up at the LAX party.</p>
<p>Sorry, Berurah, I am not trying to start any kind of argument. It’s just a matter of definition, mine versus yours. I do consider that watching someone strip is sexual entertainment. Not suggesting that it was anything more than watching.</p>
<p>…But I do believe a great many people are a lot less naive now…</p>
<p>I completely agree with this :)</p>
<p>…sexual entertainment… vs entertainment (visual)…</p>
<p>I think it is semantics of the use of the words - IMHO - but could have different connotations to the user</p>
<p>I’m just hesitant to follow any line of reasoning that starts with blaming the victims - in this case of a hoax perpetrated by a rogue prosecutor, assisted by an incompetent investigator, and furthered by an unstable accuser. Just as no one should ever say “if only she hadn’t (whatever)” for an actual victim of rape, the same should hold true for those falsely accused of same. In retrospect, myriad people could have done any number of things to make this case not have happened - but those who actively turned this from a case of questionable actions and behavior into a case of three indictments for rape, sexual assault, and kidnapping and now prosecutorial and professional misconduct are those who must still face the music for their actions. </p>
<p>As an aside, for those of us who have read (and occasionally written) the blogs along with the mainstream media, the definition of “reputable source” has changed dramatically… On the positive side, I will say this - the few times I have been in print, I’ve never been misquoted. There was one occasion that the placement in the article added a flavor to my words that I hadn’t intended but it’s a matter of opinion versus fact.</p>
<p>On the negative, take a gander at the New York Times, the Durham Herald-Sun, and the early “work” of the Raleigh News & Observer for instances of “Reputable Sources Gone Bad.”</p>
<p>
Yes, this is <em>one</em> possible reasonable explanation. Another one is the scenario that takes place in my own home on nearly a daily basis. I have six children (five at home now). I call and order pizza for this many. In the interim, three friends of one kid drop by, two friends of another one drop by, two of my “adopteds” call, and son’s gf comes by for a chat. Before we know it, we have 14 or 15 people here, though that was not the original plan. Parties have a way of enlarging in a spontaneous manner. This is another possible explanation for why Mr. Flannerty may have given a smaller number to begin with.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Enought Already! What’s Duke’s record this year?</p>
<p>12-2; ACC finals tomorrow</p>
<p>Cool! Good Luck!</p>
<p>:D Duke won the ACC Lax Championship. Final score: Duke 12, UVA 9!!</p>
<p>Way to go Blue Devils!!! :D</p>
<p>D’oh - you beat me by mere seconds! Woot!</p>
<p>I’m sorry Dr. G!!! I was watching on Comcast and was just so excited by the outcome!!! 
A great game–were you there??</p>
<p>Congrats to the Duke Lax team–tough year, but you worked through it!!</p>
<p>To those of you in the Duke community I’d like to give you an apology. When I first read this story I confess that I immediately jumped to the conclusion that the boys were guilty of what they were accused of doing. I based this on what I read and - I hate to admit this - but also on my impressions of some of the lacrosse boys I knew 35 years ago when I was in high school. </p>
<p>This has been a personal reminder to me that people are innocent until proven otherwise and that I need to check my own personal -long outdated- stereotypes at the door. </p>
<p>I’m happy that the three boys were exonerated and sorry for what they and their families have gone through.<br>
andi</p>
<p>{{{{{{{{{{andi}}}}}}}}}}</p>
<p>On behalf of the Duke parents, thanks for this. You were certainly not alone. I, too, am ashamed to admit that jumped to some serious (and erroneous) conclusioins at the beginning of this story. Though a few people persist in the bashing of the LAX players and Duke, most have come to the very rational and reasonable conclusion that everyone’s been through enough and that the punishment far outweighed any “crime” that was committed, even if that crime was simply some very poor judgment.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to the MIT community right now as it struggles with something similar. The blame for any wrongdoing should be placed squarely on the one who perpetrated it, and this should <em>NOT</em> be an excuse for generalized bashing of a very fine institution.</p>
<p>Again, andi, thanks for this very sweet post.</p>
<p>~berurah</p>
<p>Hi andi!! Thanks for your very kind words!! You were never one of the people who trashed and bashed the team and Duke. Many people believed the DA when he was selling his lies to everyone in the media. I didn’t want to believe because it didn’t sound right from the first time I heard about it…and I am a firm believer in hearing both sides and presuming innocence. </p>
<p>I hope andison is doing great!!! Big {{{{{{Hugs}}}}} for coming back to the Lax thread and being so sweet. Let’s hope that many lessons have been learned from this year!!</p>
<p>Andi - what a great post - certainly sounds like it is directly from your heart. It is heart warming to see a response such as you have written. There are many who were in the same boat - and your honesty is refreshing.</p>
<p>Hope your andison is doing well also :)</p>
<p><a href=“http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2007/04/30/News/Profs.Stand.By.social.Disaster.Ad-2888109.shtml[/url]”>http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2007/04/30/News/Profs.Stand.By.social.Disaster.Ad-2888109.shtml</a></p>
<p>“The ad attempted to give voice to those harassed by racism and sexism on campus, but ad signatory William Chafe, dean of the faculty of arts and sciences and Alice M. Baldwin professor of history, said the ensuing controversy made the signers objects
of harassment themselves.”</p>
<p>"“I am appalled at the way that bloggers who have targeted the ‘Group of 88’ have put words in our mouths, denied our individuality and racist and violent language to attack us-including sending us e-mails and making phone calls wishing our deaths and calling us ‘Jew b-’ and ‘n-b-,’” Chafe wrote in an e-mail. “Most of us never presumed guilt.”</p>
<p>Sigal reiterated that the intent of the ad was not to pass judgment on the players but to engage in conversation and instigate change within Duke’s campus culture.</p>
<p>“Had it proclaimed the guilt of the players, I would not have signed the ad,” he said."</p>
<p>:eek: Now we have some more VICTIMS !! :eek:</p>
<p>Speaking as a blogger who at times took aim at statements of folks who signed the listening ad, I’ll just put out there that I don’t believe I put words in anyone’s mouths, I tried to make folks see the signers as individuals, and I sure as heck never sent those kinds of e-mails. I hope Dr. Chafe recognizes that we bloggers, too, should not be denied our individuality, especially when making such serious charges…</p>