<p>Well, I will have been at the job for more than a month before the graduation, so I will have a better picture of the situation then. </p>
<p>The graduation is a two-part event – with the first part on a Thursday evening and the second part on Friday morning. I will have two unused hours of vacation time at that point, beyond the eight hours that I will have used to pick up my daughter. </p>
<p>If I could leave two hours early on Thursday, I could attend the first part of the graduation. Depending on what I’ve learned by then about the policies and people at that workplace, I may ask. </p>
<p>But attending the second part would require them to advance me vacation time. I can’t see that happening. The job atmosphere seems very rigid. There are strict rules about signing in and out, even though we’re exempt employees, and I’ve been given a handout that specifies exactly what you can and cannot wear to work. Everyone’s phone calls go through the receptionist, who asks all callers to identify themselves, so I can’t imagine that personal phone calls take place much, and I’ve even been told that you have to ask to borrow a key to go to the bathroom. (Maybe they’re worried that we would hide in the bathroom to make personal calls from our cell phones.) The employer is a government contractor, and they seem scrupulous about following regulations. I can see the rationale for that. They have a lot of competitors (I sent resumes to most of them). They can’t afford to get caught breaking any rules because there are plenty of other firms that would love to have their government contracts. Giving me time off that I’m not entitled to would mean fudging the time sheets. I can’t imagine that happening in this particular company.</p>
<p>I do not particularly like the atmosphere of the company that I’m going to. But they’re going to pay me 50% more than I’ve ever been able to earn as a freelancer, and I need the money. I applied for quite a few other jobs, and this one pays substantially more than any of the others. So I am willing to put up with a lot of harshness, if that’s what it takes.</p>
<p>The rules about what questions potential employers can’t ask you at an interview can be funny sometimes. At my interview for the job I’m taking, one of the executives interviewing me noticed on my resume that I graduated from Cornell. She graduated from the same university, and as it happens, we both have kids on that campus now. I could tell that she was dying to ask me when I graduated (my resume doesn’t specify that) and then mention when she did, to see whether we might have been at Cornell at the same time. But this was a job interview, so she couldn’t ask that question because it would be the same thing as asking me to reveal my age, which is a forbidden question. In any other context, it would have been one of the first things that alumni of the same college would ask each other.</p>
<p>The trick with questions they shouldn’t ask is to deflect them nicely, not get all huffy and “that’s against the law.” Humor helps.</p>
<p>Are you having children soon? “Not for at least nine months.”
Where do you bank? “Oh, I’m changing banks soon, who do you recommend?”
Are you a Christian? “What religion should I be to get the job?”
How many boyfriends do you have? “I haven’t checked this morning.”</p>
<p>Questions you should answer seriously:
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“What are your long-term goals if you stay with this company?”
“What about working for ___ appeals to you?” (Be specific! Google the company before the interview.) (And the right answer is not “you offer health insurance” even if that’s the truth.)</p>
<p>grantedin: Maybe you should make a new thread and pose the same questions there. You might get additional great responses and more people will benefit.</p>
<p>At my company when I came in for the interview, I absolutely murdered it - completely. There was no way I wasn’t getting the job. It still took about 5 hours for them to extend the offer after I had left.</p>
<p>Keep in mind, I was just graduating from college.</p>
Not necessarily. There are generally a few ways to handle it - </p>
<ul>
<li>Borrow vacation time</li>
<li>Take time off without pay. </li>
<li>Work enough ‘make-up’ hours to offset the time off</li>
<li>If it’s an exempt position, at some companies the time off would ‘come out in the wash’. This may not apply to a defense contractor.</li>
</ul>
<p>The options of borrowed vacation or time off without pay are usually specified in the company’s benefits package or can be clarified with HR or the manager. They’re typically official benefits so no rules would be broken.</p>
<p>The option of working extra time or ‘coming out in the wash’ would usually be left up to the manager.</p>
<p>Many years ago when I was 5 months pregnant with my first child a firm wanted me to join them (they couldn’t tell I was pregnant even at 5 months). It was not a good time for me to leave my current employer because I would have lost my medical coverage and maternity leave. After they recovered from the fact that I was that far along, they offered to pay for my medical and to keep me on their payroll for 3 months while I was on my maternity leave. </p>
<p>A lot of benefits and special situations can be negotiated prior to a job offer. I am wearing a different shoe now, where I am doing the hiring, and I would be very upset if my staff were to miss their kid’s graduation because of work. There will always be work, but graduation only happens once in a life time.</p>
<p>My father did not move me in to college 30 years ago because of work (as an immigrant he thought he would be fired for taking extra days). I told him it didn’t matter, but it did.</p>
<p>Agree with patsmom - call in sick if all else fails.</p>
<p>I thought of that. But the college in question is our state university, an hour from my home. There is a significant possibility that I could be spotted there by someone who is somehow connected with the office.</p>
<p>I’m also wary of using up my sick time in that way. I’m older than many of you, and I have some chronic health issues. Among other things, I’m going to have to have a dexascan, a mammogram, and a stress test, as well as the related doctor visits, during my first six months on the job. I need to hold on to my accrued sick time for those purposes. If I’m actually sick, I will go to work unless the situation is extreme because I don’t want to have to go without the diagnostic tests.</p>
<p>Marian - big congratulations. It must be a big adjustment to work in an office after being a freelancer for so long. I worked out of home for 7 years before I went back to an office environment again.</p>
<p>Marian,
I had one job interview where the phone rang as soon as I walked in the door. I had major misgivings about the position, but I was desperate to find something closer to home. Big mistake. They were more desperate to hire someone than I was to get hired, and the job was not as advertised.</p>
<p>With my other jobs, I’ve heard back quickly, often within a week; I tend to get a good number of interviews relative to resumes sent out because my cover letters are personalized and (I’ve been told) well-written. </p>
<p>Hope your new position goes well and that you enjoy the people. Defense contracting is definitely its own subculture. The rules aren’t personal, as you’ve surmised; they are to protect the company’s contracts and the integrity of the work. DH goes to meetings at some of these places and the cell phones/crackberries have to be left outside the meeting room. On the other hand, he enjoys many of the people he works with in this context.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, I have only worked for three companies over 28 years, but, had multiple promotions in each.</p>
<p>I do remember now a job I didn’t get - I went on an interview, and it lasted all day long, starting at 8:00 in the morning and ending at 8:00 at night. The company flew me in, put me in a hotel, kept me there all day. and sent in one senior exec after the next, and sometimes they came in twos and threes. The CEO’s dog - lab as I recall - was there too - lovely dog, he had the run of the place, and I got to pet and play with him during the 5-15 minute intervals between execs interviewing me.</p>
<p>When I got back home, I couldn’t figure out how in the world to write thank you notes to the 20 or so execs who participated in the interview. The company was a very creative, outside-the-box sort of place, so, I took a risk and wrote my thank you letter to the CEO’s dog, and mailed it. I thought I did a terrific job on the letter - I spent like hours on it. </p>
<p>It was a bad idea. I didn’t get the job, and in fact when I called my point of contact to follow up, I received a very chilly reception, and “we’ve decided to continue our search and look elsewhere”…</p>
<p>Marian, I can understand your situation. However your son’s college graduation is such a life time event. Your company should understand. I think you should ask them what they think at least.</p>
<p>CountingDown, I will be working for a government contractor, but it’s not defense. The contractor I will be working for does projects for other types of government agencies.</p>
<p>My husband works for a defense contractor, though. And the rules there are VERY extreme. All cell phones have to be left at the security desk (although I think most people simply leave them in their cars.) Everything carried out of the building has to be searched. Computer passwords have to be changed so frequently that people are constantly forgetting them. Visitors who don’t have security clearances can’t get beyond the lobby of the building. Those who are not American citizens can’t even get into the building.</p>
<p>My husband had a medical procedure several months ago, after which he was asked to participate in a clinical study that involves having blood samples taken on multiple occasions. To minimize the inconvenience to the study participants, the technicians come to their workplaces to draw the blood samples. For most of the study participants, the actual blood drawing can be done somewhere reasonably private and comfortable. But in my husband’s case, the blood samples have to be drawn in the lobby, which is certainly disconcerting to the other people who happen to be there at the time. And if the research team ever sends a technician who is not an American citizen, the blood sample would have to be taken in the parking lot.</p>
<p>I don’t recommend calling in sick. For one thing you might get caught at it. For another, IMO it’s unethical. I’ve never once called in sick when I wasn’t sick although I know people who do that. It’s enough of a problem that some companies don’t give sick time anymore - they give ‘personal time’ that you use for vacation or sick. The upside is that the company doesn’t have to worry about sick time cheaters and the corresponding morale issues with other workers. The downside is that sometimes the combo of vacation/sick time is now less than it would have been. Let your conscience be your guide.</p>
<p>Really, I doubt your manager will have an issue with you either borrowing a vacation day or taking a day unpaid for an important event such as this. At least discuss it with the manager. Handling things like this is one of their duties and if the manager is decent at all there’ll be no issue.</p>
<p>LatetoSchool, I love your story. Writing to the dog – what a great idea!! I doubt that’s why you didn’t get the job. Usually we never really know why.</p>
<p>That’s not really the case. Sometimes they want to interview several candidates before making a decision, sometimes firm partners or hiring committees need to meet to make a decision… there are just so many different possibilities. The period after a job interview is always a stressful and anxious time but the only rule that really applies is that no news is no news. </p>
<p>The person(s) doing the interview should tell the candidate what happens next and if they don’t it’s perfectly acceptable to ask when you can expect to hear back from them. Don’t say “So when do I find out if I got the job?” but something like “It was very nice meeting you and I’m very excited by the opportunities available in the firm. When can I expect to hear from you next?” </p>
<p>Your husband not hearing anything after an interview is bad form on the company’s part. If they take the trouble to invite you in then they should certainly let one know either way just out of common courtesy.</p>
<p>Marian, I would agree that you should talk to your manager to see if there is any way to work it out so you can go to your son’s college graduation. If he says there is absolutely no way, this will also tell you to keep your resume in shape, and to go looking for another job soon. This will be all you will need to tell new prospective employers to explain why you are leaving so soon.</p>
<p>Hunt, I know you didn’t intend to do so, but actually you’ve provided the best argument AGAINST raising the issue with my manager.</p>
<p>I would not want her to feel that I resent her or the company or that I’m going to start hunting for a different job if I ask for the time off and she has to turn me down.</p>
<p>Rocketman, I’ve had several interviews in the past couple of months where I never heard from the company after the interview. I have also applied for and interviewed for freelance work many times over the years and gotten no reply. In my experience, applicants get the “Thank you for applying, but we have decided to give the position to someone else” e-mail only about half the time." Maybe things are different, though, for people who are applying for higher-level jobs.</p>
<p>When I was brand new at my office, I suggested to my HR manager that instead of taking a day off that I was not yet eligible for, I could come in very early, 7:00 a.m., work until 10:00 a.m., so I was present that day; and then make up the remaining 5 hours over the other 4 days of that week. She thought it was a great idea, and has let me do it for doctors’ appointments subsequently.</p>