I love both colleges! Both would have been ED2 considerations for my son had he not gotten into his (similar) ED1 school. My husband went to Vassar.
Your daughter sounds a little more “Vassar” to me, but I bet she would have a great time at either school! She really cannot go wrong here.
I will add some reassurance (maybe?) on the dating scene. Vassar is LBGTQ+ friendly, which is great, but it should not be assumed from that fact that it is any less comfortable for heterosexual students. My husband and his four closest friends from Vassar are all heterosexual men, three of whom met their future wives at Vassar! And this was many years ago. Today Vassar is much more popular and competitive among boys than it was then. A young cousin in his twenties went to Vassar more recently, and he and many of his friends were also male heterosexuals, as are some of my son’s friends who are applying to Vassar.
I may add that my husband and one of his friends majored in psychology at Vassar. My husband is now a clinical psychologist, and his friend is a college professor of psychology. They both loved the department.
Vassar has the hipsters for your daughter, but no football team! Hamilton has football. Hamilton’s “dark side” stereotype includes hipsters as well. There seems to be a good mix of kids at Hamilton, but I think that is true at Vassar as well, although Vassar may lean a bit more artsy overall.
I think both schools are friendly. Hamilton was really remarkable for the friendly feel, and seemed like such a special place! And students and alumni on this site are super loyal to it.
But every student I know who went or currently goes to Vassar absolutely loves it and has made great friends there. It seemed to me as well that Vassar is a bit edgier, and protests are part of the experience there… although, as one poster pointed out, that does not mean that these overwhelm the experience nor that everyone participates in them.
Vassar does not have fraternities, and Hamilton does.
One thing I liked about both Vassar and Williams is that the social scene was not stratified or divided. Everyone is combined into dorms designed to be microcosms of the entire community. But the potential exclusivity of Greek life seems to be mitigated at Hamilton by the fact that frats are nonresidential.
Two great choices! Good luck to your daughter.