<p>Wow…I did not finish college, and look back with some regret. I have always stressed education to my children because I want them to have more choices and opportunities than I have had. I do not think I am less of a parent because of this.
Our dinner conversations were not lacking because of education level or the collection of books. I am a stronge believer that learning in general is a lifelong experience.
I know of a woman who is hands down the worst parent ( and person ) I have ever known, yet she finished college…and is an education snob.</p>
<p>vicariousparent - hence the words ‘somewhat influenced’…implies it is not the only/primary reason</p>
<p>I agree with Momofthreeboys and lumitari. There are good and bad parents with college degrees and without college degrees. LJE also makes a really good point about intellectual snobbery. Not every intelligent or intellectually curious person goes to college. If you doubt this, go to a national MENSA meeting. You’ll be surprised at the numbers of mailmen, sales clerks, cooks and others without college degrees who hold their own with physicists, doctors and lawyers.</p>
<p>My mother had very little education, but was a fantastic mother. She pushed us to get educations (I have a JD) even though she worked in a factory along with our father. In the days before the internet, she learned who the Seven Sisters were and encouraged us to apply to good colleges. She misspoke words and her grammar was poor, but it didn’t keep me from being a NMF in high school or receiving English awards and scholarships. (Another child became a book publisher). She didn’t understand why someone might want to take a bath or shower more than once a week, but she scrimped and saved so that we could go to stores where “better educated” sales clerks could help us dress for success. I am eternally grateful that I had her for a mother, whether or not she went to college. </p>
<p>Some of my classmates had college-educated parents (Moms were teachers or nurses back then, with an accountant or bookkeeper sprinkled here & there. Most of them had become stay-at-home Moms). A lot of the other kids’ parents were clueless about who was smoking weed and drinking on weekends, and which kids were cheating their way through school. My Mom knew when we were guilty of something before the door had closed behind us…it doesn’t take a college degree to have really good Mom instincts!</p>
<p>A degree is irrelevant IMO to being a good Mom.</p>
<p>SeeHerFly - your mom may also be wishing she had all the other intangibles that go along with a college education. The social activities and interactions during the college years along with the freedom and confidence to know that if things got tough in her marriage that should could get a great job and support herself.</p>
<p>But these women found ways to climb to the top in their own right. Think of the women in the PTA, room mothers, church groups, volunteer groups, the house where all the kids hang out after school. While they don’t hold powerful outside jobs, they perform the above tasks with perfection and pride. I am thankful for these women and the important roles they played in my life.</p>
<p>shawbridge – #18 – wow. You are an amazing person. Can I just say that?</p>
<p>You are an inspiration to me today. I am your fan.</p>
<p>I have a similar parenting story, but maybe not as difficult. I’m not going to cloud my admiration for you by telling it, I just want to tip my hat to you.</p>
<p>AnudduhMom, I’m honored. You should tell your story.</p>
<p>Having an education is an advantage when our children go through the whole application process. I teach at a community college and the overwhelming majority of my students are first-generation college students. While I realize that the college is a great option for many, I often wonder how many of them would have benefited from the advice of someone who had been through the process. Our public schools are so big that counselors have little time for any specific student.</p>
<p>My mother was widowed at age 39 and was a beautician, and the goal of being able to support myself (and perhaps children) got me through college. I don’t know that my children will have that drive, but I wouldn’t want them to get it the way I did. My mom always regretted not going to college.</p>
<p>My mother earned her college degree at the age of 60!! She did it for herself and because of her love of learning and reading and to never stop improving herself.</p>
<p>I can’t separate ‘parent’ from ‘person’ in her case. Yes, it made her a better parent/person, because she’s shown me to chase your dreams, constantly improve yourself, continue to learn and most importantly, give back to those in need (but that’s a whole other story 
)!</p>
<p>^ that is amazing! your mother is such an inspiration.</p>
<p>Someone said that education would make them a better provider (of income, of books, of knowledge, of god knows what) but not a better parent. I agree, there. But, then again, that would mean the measure of a “good” parent comes from the input (the clerk works just as hard as the ibanker) and not the output. Of course, emotional output maybe similar, however to catalyze that output an educated parent would be able to provide a more academically nurturing environment. Maybe it would be better put as education does not make someone a better person, but allows them to act as a parent to a higher degree? </p>
<p>Education doesn’t change what a person puts in, but it certainly has an effect on what comes out.</p>
<p>I think times are different now, but when I was in high school, many women that didn’t want to become full time mom’s (or waited until the children were in school) got great jobs without a college diploma. One worked in a bank, went from teller to vice president of a department without attending anything but in-house training. Her salary is about 60,000 now, more than some teachers. Another friend worked at Yale Univ and also without a college degree, worked herself up to a managerial position ,loads of benefits, which now include getting 1/2 her children’s tution paid for. She also makes a very enviable salary. There were many others but all say, that if they graduated now, it wouldn’t be the same. They were always educating themselves though, by reading taking a class they were interested in, and when their children were in high school, bought books to help them through the process. You don’t need a college education to know what would help your child, but you do need to be someone that likes to experience many things, is curious and want to have as much as learning as he/she can while nuturing their curiousity. I worked with many educated and affluent parents while in childcare many years ago, and they weren’t the type of parent, I would want to be, some were very cold, caculating and their children spent 90% of their time with caregivers. There is a balance in everything and nothing is perfect.
I understand though, through tutoring and helping out at schools, many, many parents don’t do these things and are not informed of things that can help their children (scholarships, waivers, free trips,etc) I like that some colleges have free programs for parents/students to visit, come see the school and attend talks on aid and what they can do to help.</p>