Elite school with top drama + top business programs

[MWolf]

@LDM_1

has her eye on the prize—an elite college (Ivy+) with a top drama program and a top business school

Stop. Right. There.

I am sorry, but admissions to an “elite” school is not a “prize”. A common end result of this type of thinking is a thread on CC starting with a post along the lines of “My Kid Was Rejected From All The Elite Colleges They Applied To”, with a long post about how devastated they are, how the admissions process is unfair, and how the Poor Kid’s Life Is Ruined.

In four years, your kid may, or may not, have been accepted to a college that you deem to be “elite”, but most likely not. However, they will almost certainly have spent 4 years in high school.

Are you willing to live with the almost certainty that your kid will be stressed out, unhappy, engaged in activities that they don’t especially enjoy for four years, for the small chance that they will be accepted to a “prestigious” college? Moreover, there is absolutely no reason to assume that your kid will enjoy that college, since the major criterion that you are focusing on is how popular that colleges is with subset of the population.

Even if they are accepted to their (or your) “dream college”, and even if they enjoy their time there, why do you believe that their four years of college are more important than their four years of high school?

Let us also compare the dangers. The potential effects of stress and anxiety in high schools students who are under pressure to perform and achieve in high school can be serious and long term physical and mental health issues, in some cases leading to self harm or worse. The potential effects of attending a non-elite college instead of an “elite” college, are, perhaps, a salary that is 15% lower.

This is something I wrote for a high school kid a few years ago, and that young teen was focused on UCs, I left what is relevant for you and your kid, just replaces “UCs” with “Elite Colleges”:

@MWolf

OK now. You are just starting high school. Your focus should be on doing your best in high school, not on “what should I do to maximize my chances to be accepted to the UC of my choice in another four years?? OMG, will that quiz affect my chances?! I’m only the president of three clubs, and there is somebody who is the president of four, how will that affect my chances??!!”

You have no idea what you’ll want to do in another year, much less in another three. The point of college is not “I need to be accepted to a Good College, otherwise My Life Is Over”. The point of high school is definitely not college.

Make a list of what you want to achieve from high school. That’s the list you should focus on, not a list items that you, or we, or your parents, or your GCs think are “what colleges want”. The list should NOT include “be accepted to a UC”. The list should be independent of college admissions outcomes.

In short - forget about colleges for now, and focus on high school.

Remember:

• You are at high school to get an education. That should be your goal.
• Your extracurricular activities are for you. Do what interests you, or explore new things. While hopping between too many things will not allow you to fully engage, don’t let inertia determine your activities. Don’t let “this is what I think colleges like” determine your ECs either
• College is not a goal or a target. It is the next step after high school for some students.
• There are literally hundreds of excellent colleges in the USA. You will find the right college for YOU based on your interests, focus or foci, and what you have done in high school.