<p>I would want to know how much PAID time off the mother is getting. While 8 weeks off sounds great, it’s not an option for some people if it’s unpaid, especially if the spouse has been out of work for weeks or months, or if one or both parents are underemployed, which is often the case these days. Also, from the OP’s follow up post it seems like the mother is worried for her job and concerned that it may not be there when she gets back if she’s gone for too long. I should know-that happened to me when I had my oldest. Oh, they did it legally, they didn’t eliminate the job. They just redesigned it so that it would be so unpalatable that I wouldn’t be able to make it work financially and timewise with a new baby. </p>
<p>And there are plenty of ways to get childcare without a daycare center. Parents can arrange work hours so that one is home at all times, like my sister did. Or a MIL can come stay for a few weeks after the birth. Or a friend can come sit for the first few weeks (I did that with my youngest in conjunction with re-arranging my hours.</p>
<p>This is something people without means have been doing for decades-using friends and family to help so that they can work to feed their families. And any mother with more than one kid is WORKING the second they get home from the hospital doing childcare while still recovering from childbirth. The idea that a mother might be unbalanced to think of working in an office two weeks after giving birth is a little repellant.</p>
<p>I feel for the mother in question-I’m one of five kids-I’m the oldest-and I know how much work it is to raise that many. My mom was lucky enough not to have to work outside the home. My H’s wasn’t. Her oldest kids (by 14 years) looked after the youngest ones, out of necessity, because that’s what she had to do. She wasn’t neglectful or unbalanced, she was doing the best she could, just as I’m sure the woman in the OP is doing. It sounds like she needs a more supportive workplace where she won’t be in fear of firing for taking needed time off.</p>
<p>MommaJ makes a good point about daycare for a 2 week old. Also, I would be shocked that any doctor would be ok with writing a patient back to work 2 weeks after a C-Section. The liability is too great and if your company is not asking for a physician’s approval to come back to work then they are foolish in that regard. </p>
<p>I don’t think the OP was trying to say the mother is unbalanced at all. I think the term “crazy” was used loosely. </p>
<p>FMLA gives 12 weeks (I think) before you can lose your job completely but yes, the company can make things difficult when you come back. I, myself, was subject to a supervisor who welcomed my comeback to work with an impossible shift change (9-5 after I had worked 6-2 for many years and reliably so). I responded to HER Supervisor who then found me my current position (which was a step up in pay and company hierarchy). Not everyone is so lucky though. I have known many people who came back from Maternity Leave unscathed and many more who found themselves relegated to a new position in a different area of the company. This is the way they skirt FMLA. However, the woman in question cannot lose her job entirely. If that is her main issue then she should not worry at all.</p>
<p>Are there no Supplemental Disability Benefits with your company? The woman would be entitled to State benefits I would think (does this vary from state to state?) and while those are smaller than regular pay I am guessing that the cost of not paying daycare during this time for all of those children would probably offset that a little bit.</p>
<p>If you can’t offer hour flexibility or a big enough raise to hire Mary Poppins, then you, as her supervisor, aren’t in a position to help, so there is no point in asking her about her personal life. </p>
<p>Calling CPS won’t help this mother or her children, but it will require her to take enough time off you can fire her, if that is your end goal. I’m thinking that won’t help her or her children either.</p>
<p>I think choosing not to get involved in vicious office rumors about her childcare situation is probably the best course of action.</p>
<p>I agree with this. Even if you really are concerned, you are her supervisor, and it’s because of the rules of her workplace with flexibility and the amount that she makes that she feels like she has to make this arrangement. She has friends to talk to and you really aren’t in a position to help, but it will make her feel criticized (any criticism from a supervisor feels bad, even if it’s not about work).</p>
<p>I do think trying to stop the rumor mill would also be a good idea.</p>
<p>It’s crazy. The lack of maternity/family leave benefits in the U.S. astounds me. Well, it probably shouldn’t, but it does. I’m amazed that with all the leaps and bounds that women have made through the years in the workplace that this issue seems to have never been addressed.</p>
<p>JUst because you cannot offer the solution to someone who is doing something illegal or dangerous does not preclude warning or reporting to authorities. One has nothing to do with the others. What would you do if you found out an employee was leaving an infant in a crib all day unwatched? Not found out for sure, but someone told you and you felt that there was that likelihood it was true? Or that am employee went out each night with friends leaving kids a lone? At what point does one “tell” on a person? I think we each have our personal lines and it depends on the situation and our involvement and relationship with the person. I also think that saying something does not require giving that person the solution.</p>
<p>All the more the reason to stay out of the person’ s private life if you are the employer. If you are friend or family, perhaps you can offer up services or get the person in touch with someone. As an employer you need to keep an arm’s length from personal situations. Sending your unemployed DD there for instance to help out is really crossing lines. Anything go wrong and your job is jeopardy. It doesn not complicate the situation as the employer, though one should make sure the job is not such where there is a requirement to report or a strong impetus to do so. Really, as an employer I would privately tell any of my employees about any rumors I’ve heard about them regarding any illegal doings or adverse publicity things. That is part of being a boss. It is NOT your job or place to intervene personally, as the employee really is at your mercy in terms of what you want done. By advising them that something not good and possibly illegal is being said about the person, you are telling them to fix the problem and leaving it up to them how to do it. It’ s crossing the line to get more invasive than that, unless you are able to come up with some great alternaives that are not personal. If you want to offer up money for child care, you may have to do so on a uniform basis to other employees . Too many other issues there.</p>
<p>Just for the record --It takes 6-8 weeks to heal from a FIRST C-section (and office work would be heaven over being at home) and only a week or so for a subsequent C-section.</p>
<p>That doesn’t make sense to me, why the difference?
I had a section with my first & while I had to be driven to visit her once i was discharged, by two weeks i was driving myself( I had a stick)</p>
<p>My next birth was a vbac, but if I had surgery,I’d expected a little longer recovery time ( since I was 8 years older)</p>
<p>I had a C-section with my first and I’d have given my left arm to sit on my butt in an office all day instead of going up and down stairs at home, standing at the stove and cooking, navigating my way down the gravel driveway to the car, and so on. As I said above, if you have a child at all-you are WORKING when you get home from the hospital, whether you have a c-section or not. Office work is much easier.</p>
<p>And I wasn’t saying the OP called the mother unbalanced-it was down the thread after the OP said mom planned on returning in 2 weeks. Questions about her judgement and all.</p>
<p>Having extended family around for a few months or longer to help out makes things easier. My MIL stayed with us for six-months to help out while my wife recovered. My mother stayed and helped my sisters when they had kids.</p>
<p>Neither my in laws ( hah!) or my mother ( she was hospitalized when my oldest was discharged from the hospital) were available to help after either my kids were born. (After my c-section, my H introduced me to a dad he’d met whose wife had * died* after delivery, so I was really motivated to get moving!)
We also spaced our children out by eight years.
I imagine if the couple in question had helpful & available extended family, that this situation wouldn’t have arisen in the first place.</p>
FMLA leave is required, yes, but there is no requirement that it be paid. With 5 kids and a husband just returning to work, a long period of unpaid leave may not be feasible.
All such benefits vary from state to state. Some have mandated maternity leave, some have none. There are no blanket statements possible.</p>
<p>The OP’s employee may have no financial choice except to go back to work after two weeks. Not all employers offer paid disability leave. My former employer offered five days (this was combined sick leave/short-term disability), and then nothing until one qualified for long term disability six months later. Period. The folks who had to have heart surgery or an emergency hysterectomy were just SOL in terms of paid leave.</p>
<p>OTOH, I don’t know of any day are centers or family day care who will take a two week old infant.</p>
<p>Emeraldkitty–the reason for an easier second section is that the stomach muscles have already been cut once–the second section follows the first incision line and healing is much faster (in fact a mini-tummy tuck is possible much to my happy surprise and a great doctor.) Mine were 5 years apart.
Now back to the real topic at hand…</p>
<p>Unions aren’t the only way to gain reasonable benefits like mat. leave. It can be a matter of public policy decisions, which is how it works in Canada. Having to return to work two weeks after giving birth is a very sad situation, for both the mom and the baby.</p>
