Please let your daughter graduate from college without the angst of this issue hanging over her head…or yours.
Frankly, it sounds like you would stick it to you ex wife if you didn’t think it would affect your daughter.
My opinion…you need to forget about this. You are getting second and third hand information about the whereabouts of this money…the tax return information and the like.
Just stop.
If the custodial parent income generates a <$2000 EFC, it’s possible this student qualifies for the simplified needs test whereby assets wouldn’t be counted anyway.