One thing that I might add to my previous response: Due to circumstances somewhat similar to yours, both of my daughters attended public universities that were affordable, with merit aid. They had the option to attend higher ranked expensive private universities, but I would not let them take on any debt.
After graduating, the value of graduating with strong grades, a good education, and no debt at all, was vastly greater than any value that might have come from attending a more expensive private university. One daughter for example got a dream job after graduation that paid really badly. She could only take the job because she had no debt. She loved the job, it led to a different but related job, and this led her to now being enrolled in a very good graduate program at a university that has a very good program in her major. The other daughter was able to get a very good research job that again appears to be setting her up very well to do what she wants to do in life. Having a bachelor’s degree with no debt was very valuable in both cases. Having attended affordable public universities in both cases worked out just fine.