OP- what a moving post.
I got two pieces of advice when I was your age-- and they have served me well.
1- Run your own race
2-Never love anything that won’t love you back
These have saved me from comparing myself to other people, to trying to become someone I’m not, from getting involved in ridiculous competitive situations which are zero sum games.
You be you. You do you. Figure out what brings you joy and do that. I promise you that you will find a wonderful place to continue your education where you will knock the cover off the ball- or sit back and chill and enjoy life to its fullest.
Sending hugs.