My livelihood is teaching skeptical approaches and critical thinking, @ucbalumnus . But thanks for the lesson.
Bus- agree. I can’t STAND the mean and offensive political slams and I’ve lost a few friends from commenting about the need for or truth of such posts. Tigger- agree that if someone is in groups or occasionally “likes” my posts that I don’t consider them a lurker. It’s just when someone might pop up that you totally forgot was even ON facebook or they mention something IRL that reminds you that they are there in the background that it can be a little spooky.
Pros: Here is an example… We set up a private Facebook group to be able to quickly share information about my husband’s cancer diagnosis, surgery, chemo and continuing progress and recovery. We were shellshocked and exhausted for several months, and the thought of having to have the same conversations over and over was more than we could handle. He was thankful to be able to read and respond to messages at his own convenience. (Our extended families were in that group, but we contacted them personally before we posted anything.)
I have loved finding specific groups for specific interests.
I have loved reconnecting with old friends.
Cons: Getting a peek at the real “man behind the curtain”, including the unfiltered thoughts of a few relatives. This is mostly about politics, and mostly in the last three or four years. I have learned to “unfollow” people, so I don’t see their posts unless I look specifically at their wall. I have also learned to not feel guilty about unfriending people and blocking people.
A recent major redistricting proposal in our county wide public school district has blown the whole county wide “choose civility” mantra right out of the water and shown a dark layer of nastiness right under that civil veneer. Facebook, with its ability to create interest groups, has added gasoline to an already contentious issue. Again, it has changed my views of some people I know IRL.
I find that quite a few people I know, including young people, have dropped Facebook completely in recent years (mostly as a mental health cleanse), and stick only to Instagram and Snapchat. My oldest child only uses Twitter, and only to follow sports. My middle wasn’t on any social media for several years, but is back on Facebook now only because his medical school class uses private groups as a means of communicating with each other. My youngest is on all social media but mostly uses Instagram and Snapchat.
I am not on FB, but my H is an addict. I hate it.
The benefits of being on Facebook FAR outweigh the annoyances for me. I keep my friend list tight and the amount of political posting and other annoying types of posts I see are minimal. I know who the meme and repost offenders are and just scroll right past. I do have a local acquaintance who is deeply political and I suspect I will need to hide or de-friend her as the 2020 election cycle heats up. Beyond her I don’t have any friends who use Facebook to rant or otherwise post inappropriately. Most of my friends use FB casually to post about interesting things they have done or places they visit, and I’m totally ok with seeing the best of their lives and I love knowing what they are up to. Reconnecting with important people in my life, including an exchange student who lived with our family for a year when I was young, has been a huge blessing.
TBH, I do have a love/hate reaction to birthday notifications. During certain times of the year, I have multiples every day and it can feel onerous to make sure I post a cheery HBD message to everyone. My closest friends who know this about me love to tease me about this; they make a big deal of wondering whether they will get a birthday post from me (they won’t, I text these close friends instead!)
Another annoyance has been the parent page of my D’s uni; the stuff some parents post is truly eye-rolling. Yet there was valuable info shared as well so I stuck with it. Nevertheless, I rejoiced when I unfollowed that page the day after her graduation.
Facebook is my main source of local community news these days (local paper has folded.) I also use the local yard sale site a fair amount, it has been hugely valuable for handing off some things to people who really want them. Latest example - we are converting S’s childhood room to guest room and had furniture to get rid of, but H had recent surgery and we couldn’t get it downstairs. I posted it for free on yard sale site on a “carry it yourself” basis. A woman who just moved into town from out of state came with a teen-ager and a U-haul truck the next day and they got it all out of our house - a huge win/win!
My D is living at home while she is job searching. She only uses FB to lurk and to post photos (as a means to archive her “albums”.) But she did just join our community page, as she realized it was THE source for all the local news and over the fence gossip and didn’t want to be out of the loop!
The “birthday” think on FB is a big CON for me. My own and others! (sorry friends!) I don’t want the attention for my birthday and I it’s weird to me to wish happy birthday to “friends” I am not close with. Partially because I feel if I am to post something it needs to be more than a generic “happy birthday!” - what is the point ?!
To be honest, I often just don’t bother with the happy birthday thing most of the time.
@eastcoascrazy , was there a particular reason you chose a private FB page to post updates on your DH’s condition, rather than Caringbridge?
Thank you @abasket, I feel validated in my dislike of the birthday notifications!!
Totally agree about feeling like I should post a greeting that is not generic. And when I do more than that for my closest friends and relatives, I wonder if other friends feel slighted that they just got the generic HBD. Just an ongoing sense of vague angst that I wish I didn’t have to deal with.
Re: young adults and Facebook - if FB remains relevant and viable, our young adults who currently are not using it or active on it will probably use it when they have children and especially when their children are school-age, as it seems to be the biggest forum for sharing school news - classroom pages, PTA page, school board page, team pages etc. Our church promotes community events on FB and young moms in our community are all VERY active on the local pages.
Regarding birthdays, lots of folks use false birthdays, so imagine the awkwardness of someone posting happy birthday wishes on your timeline?
One feature I do like about FB is the “Memories” that pop up on the anniversary of the posting. Things that I had posted nearly a decade ago is popping up and what a pleasant surprise to see some old posts that I had completely forgotten about.
I, too, like the memories. There is a link on the left side of my facebook timeline page that says memories. I click on that most days to be reminded what I was doing various years on this date. I have been reminded of what I was thinking during both darker and brighter times. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking. It is like an online diary.
I love the Memories, and sometimes I will post something that I might be on the fence about posting just because I think I might appreciate seeing it in future years.
@Nrdsb4 we used a private Facebook group instead of Caringbridge because it seems to be a much easier and more streamlined method at this time. At one time many years ago I did know friends who had set up Caringbridge sites, but that was before Facebook and other social media took off. It has actually been quite a few years since anyone I personally know has used Caringbridge. Maybe that is only a reflection of my little world? Anyway, I’m the administrator of this private Facebook group that can’t be accessed unless you are an invited friend of mine, and it has served us well.
This summer I decided to transplant some lilac saplings across my yard. I took photos of these and posted them on FB just so it will show up as “Memories” a year from the post date for growth comparison. No one wants to see such photos, so I made the photo album “private,” so I’m the only person who’d see.
I totally agree! I think it’s kinda creepy.
I was an early FB adopter who has pulled way back in the past couple of years. I have always had a tight friend list and friend groups (even before acquaintances came out) and my profile is locked down for privacy in many ways. But now it’s not the general public I worry about seeing my info, it’s FB itself.
I have been gradually deleting all my old content using a Chrome plugin (Social Book). I block the FB tracker (and all trackers actually) in my web browser, mobile and desktop, and I do not install or use the app. I now also block ads/sponsored posts on FB - that requires some manual filters being added to my ad blocker but it works.
That said, I do still use it occasionally. I’m just very aware that anything I put there, including “private” messages, are stored and potentially used by FB.
I set my birthday to not my actual birthday. One less thing ID thieves can get that way, I suppose.
I’d love the govt to break it up so I can have Instagram back, without FB. I use it anyway, but unlinked to FB, different emails, etc.
I check memories almost every morning. It really shows me the cyclical nature of my life, in a nice way
@OHMomof2 I have Instagram and Facebook. Can one not exist without the other?? Mine are set up separately in terms of posting. I either post on FB or Instagram - it doesn’t automatically go on both.
Oh my. This is concerning for me. I set up a facebook account years ago so I could follow a child on a travel-abroad class. Then I joined a group for a high school reunion class year, and accepted a few friend requests from people I recognized… Never felt the need to post, except for maybe in my neighborhood group about local traffic issues. So do the “friends” now think I’m some kind of creepy stalker ? Yikes! Is everyone on facebook expected to post about their life?
I think there must be a variety of expectations here… Maybe don’t think the worst of people.
Just like CC if everyone on FB only reads and follows and doesn’t comment and post it doesn’t make much of a “message board”. I stand by what I said. I’m not saying everyone who doesn’t post is a bad person - but I personally don’t think it’s fair play/posting.
I personally think that there is nothing about me outside of my professional activities that deserves to be preserved in cyberspace. When I am gone, no one will care. One less thing for my future heirs to worry about. Why waste cloud space. 