<p>^ Calmom, I couldn’t agree more - the ultimate goal is to launch them into successful competent adulthood, one step at a time. I’m the person who introduced the “skin in the game” conversation in this thread, but actually it was a glib throwaway line. The only loans we take out are the maximum Staffords, but with two in college and an EFC close to that of the OP that $10k or so per year isn’t just skin in the game for our kids, it’s a major part of our affordability calculations. Just as I suggested that the OP split the balance into “10 easy payments” - we do that as well, for two kids (and btw it’s not a bad way to go as the colleges don’t charge interest on the outstanding balance) but I can assure you those 10 (actually 20) payments are anything but “easy”. </p>
<p>Both my kids are responsible for their own spending money and books, and I have been pleased to see they take it seriously, budget well, search out the cheapest online options for book buying and haven’t had to come to us for additional spending money (although I toss a little their way every once in a while when I hear a note of quiet desperation). They have summer jobs, and on-campus jobs, although only the second was offered work study. Funny thing is, almost all of my friends, some of whom are very very rich, make their kids do the same thing. And they all call it skin in the game.</p>
<p>To the OP, it seems you are shifting from freakout mode to quiet acceptance of the situation. Truth is, with your income and college savings, you actually CAN afford this if you choose to. And if you don’t choose to, that’s ok too. My kids, husband, and I discussed ad nauseum the decision between the “dream” LAC and the state flagship, and even though we ultimately decided on the LACs none of us are 100% sure we made the right choice. Life’s like that, full of decisions and uncertainty and shades of gray - yet another lesson that our kids learn from this process.</p>