I’m just throwing out there that if you are in the military reserves you are considered independent on FAFSA. For some reason my younger son is interested in the Coast Guard.
Under certain circumstances, yes. But better educational financial aid should never be a top reason for making a commitment to the U.S. military (my opinion).
My brother was career Air Force. He’s firm in his opinion that the military isn’t a scholarship service. The only people who should join are those who want to pursue a military career.
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My mom has always been the one to manage financials. In Fall of 2014, my mom suffered a horrible stroke. She has been rendered disabled. Unable to work or contribute in any way. Currently in a nursing home.
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So sorry to hear about your mom.
You didn’t ask about this, but I’m going to offer this. When my mom suffered a major stroke and suddenly wasn’t able to do all that she had in the past (my mom was a wiz at everything, and my dad heavily relied on her AND he likely expected that she would “take care of him” in his old age since she was 10 years younger than he.).
While my dad wasn’t “angry,” he was very sad, bewildered, scared, etc. And they were much older than your parents when this happened. My parents were in their 70s/80s when this happened.
I imagine that your dad may be angry, depressed, LONELY, as well as all the other emotions. He’s kind of in limbo…he has a spouse, but he doesn’t really have a spouse since your mom’s stroke 3 years ago and living in a nursing home. Don’t know how old your dad is, but if he’s in his 50s, he may feeling all sort of emotions that you probably don’t really understand. Yes, you’ve lost your mom in a big way, and that’s very sad, too. I’m not diminishing that, so please don’t think that.
As I mentioned above, your dad may be feeling lonely and depressed, so lift this FAFSA burden from him now. Take the gap year, apply to schools that will give you HUGE merit for your stats, and this will give your dad a year to get things settled.
I am sorry your family is dealing with a very difficult situation.
There are a number of things that need to be addressed, so I’m going tomagree with @mom2collegekids about a gap year to sort this all out.
BUT it has to be sorted out. Do you have any trusted family member who can help you? An aunt or uncle? What about your school counselor or a clergy person?
The other thing…discuss the gap year idea with your dad…and explain that you very well could receive sufficient MERIT aid without his finances being taken into consideration…IF you apply this fall to a different set of school.
See what he says.
But I agree…your fa,ily has a lot on their plates.
Do you have siblings?
His siblings are older and already thru college. That’s why he thought that dad would pay for 3 years, as he had done for them.
This student is the baby, I think.
Maybe a trusted older sibling can help dad sort out the taxes.
Dad made an angry comment about quitting his job to find time to file taxes. At first that sounded like he didn’t have the money. Now, after learning about mom, it just sounds to me that he’s overwelmed, depressed, sad, etc…and his wife used to take care of these financial matters.
Thank you…and that is why I asked.
I would hope that the older siblings would be able to somehow help out.
- While a gap year might be good, perhaps this student should go to,college now if the finances can be worked out. He or she has been living with a very disabled mom, and an overwhelmed dad for three years or so.
- I hope someone can help this student.
It’s hard to know whether this would be an issue based on the limited facts here, but because the OP mentioned that the father is attempting to get Medicaid coverage for the mother, I will mention that paying college tuition might be treated as a divestment for Medicaid purposes. And even if it’s not, the Medicaid application process is difficult, so I understand the father feeling very stressed.
UAH…still taking applications? And with merit? Would this cover this student’s full costs?
However, if he is from ND, he might want to be a little closer to home.
Alright here we go again, I’ll try to address everything.
I double checked my cost of attendance at UND, and they only included scholarships that the government/they provided. So my cost of attendance all year is roughly going to be 11,300. Now that still doesn’t help considering the Stafford loan maxes out at $5500. But it’s new information nonetheless.
Also, I completely forgot about my SAT. I scored a 1510 on that, which apparently is equivalent to a 33 ACT, so that’s one point higher.
And I saw this mentioned a couple of times. I unfortunately do have a younger sister. But she is going to be much better situated than I am. She is much smarter than I am. And the college she plans to attend is much cheaper. And as long as she gets a high enough ACT score (which I know she will) she won’t have to pay a cent for the tuition. She’ll be able to exit with very little even if she gets no parental support all 4 years.
mom2collegekids
I’ll definitely look into those colleges.
Science was definitely my strong suit in high school, but I know thermo and organic chemistry are a whole new animal.
raclut
Thanks I’ll also do some research into George Mason.
OspreyCV22/Belknappoint/austinmshauri
I’m sort of in agreeance with the latter two. I know I have my back against the wall, but I don’t believe that I should take advantage of any group like that.
mom2collegekids
I definitely agree. He could be facing many of these emotions. I know he’s definitely overworked and is facing more than most people. But at this point, my frustration is just starting to seep through. I’ve been told throughout my whole life, “You’re an extremely smart person. You can do and go wherever you want in life.” And while I know that is an extremely overused phrase, I believed it. I worked hard in school, maintained a great GPA (3.99 unweighted), and rocked my ACT/SAT. Along the way, I’d pick up my favorite hobby ever (marathon and half-marathon running). And about a month ago, I had orientation and I signed up for my classes. The fact that I may have to give up my dream is devastating. And I know “it’s only a gap year,” but, especially around here, I have heard of and even know people who took what started off as a gap year only for that gap year to signal the end of their education. I know my dad may get his financials in order, but it’s just as likely that he doesn’t. The fact that I’m being held back by forces beyond my control is something that I am just struggling to deal with.
thumper1
I’ll have to have a long talk with him. He does not realize (and neither did I until it was pointed out here) that I need loans or I cannot go to college. But like I said, he prefers avoiding and stalling when he faces big problems, so I just don’t know if anything will ever get caught up.
And the older siblings will likely not be able to help out.
3rd oldest sibling: Still in college. She joined the National Guard. She’s going to start year 2 of a 2 year college in August and is riding a GI bill and money earned from her summer job/basic/AIT. But she won’t be able to help support me.
2nd oldest sibling: Just graduated a 4 year this past May. Not a very high paying job out of the gate. Making it through, but it’s not like she’s in any position to help me out.
oldest sibling: This one really frustrates me. She graduated a 4-year in 2016. But since then, she’s moved back home and only works part time and from everything I’ve gotten from talking her, has no future ambitions and doesn’t seem to mind. Definitely cannot help.
thumper1
Trust me when I say that distance does not matter one bit to me. I’ve been scouring far and wide looking for a way to figure everything out. I’ve looked at colleges in North Dakota, South Dakota, Texas, California, Florida, Massachusetts, and every other state. I don’t care if I have to cross an ocean. I’ve actually found two universities in Europe that match my major with the fact that I’m monolingual and that seem to be cheap, although I’m still researching to make sure that holds true for international students.
And in case anyone randomly happens to know anything about these two universities here are their names.
- Polytechnic Institute of Bragança (Portugal)
- University of Debrecen (Hungary)
And I’m still looking.
Once again, thank you everyone for the advice and kind words.
You are smart too, you said your younger sister is smart, but 3.99 uw and 1510 SAT, it doesn’t get much better than that.
What college can your sister go to for free and would that be an option for you too.
If your net cost at UND is still over $10,000 and you cannot get the student loan because you can’t file the FAFSA, then you can’t afford to go there. And dad can’t help because of all of the medical bills.
Are you NMF?
@mom2collegekids is it definitely too late for UAH for this year?
Europe might be low cost or free for tuition, but health insurance, housing and living expenses are still going to be a lot of money.
I was not suggesting you siblings help pay for your college. I wondered if they might help in terms of dealing with your dad on this issue.
mommdc
If by NMF, you mean National Merit Finalist, then no I was not. Not even a semifinalist.
And for UAH this year, that wouldn’t even be an improvement. I’d get the full tuition, but room, board, and other expenses still total about 17,000.
And that’d make sense for the European colleges.
thumper1
I will ask, but most of them went through the same problem. Except for them, the taxes needed were completed.
My dad is currently not home right now. He will be back later today. The fafsa will not give me enough loans to cover the whole year for college with the information that I have. When he gets back, I will have to simply inform him that he either will have to cosign on a loan or I will be unable to attend college this year. Whatever happens happens I guess. Even if I’m not able to attend college for a year or more, maybe that’ll light a fire under him and my younger sister won’t have to go through the same issues.
Although I’m still holding out a little hope for a cosigned loan. I mean the money is not due right away, so maybe it can happen.
Are you a North Dakota resident? Then UND is an excellent option provided the money can be sorted out. Ask UND if your scholarship can be held for you if you need to take a year off to pull the money together. One UND pre-med I know picked up a nurses aid certificate either in high school or the summer after (not a college credit program), and has been working part-time at Altru in Grand Forks while studying at UND.
Are you committed to on-campus housing right now? Some money can be saved by living off campus in Grand Forks or East Grand Forks, and a car is not absolutely necessary (but does make life a lot easier). The buses are free for students, and the routes go wherever you would need to go, but they don’t run as often as in other cities. I know people there who ride bicycles except in the very worst of the winter.
happymomof1
Definitely. There is a reason I chose UND. It’s a very good college. I am a North Dakota resident.
I am committed to living on-campus, mainly because it is required for me. I live on the western half of North Dakota. And first years are required to live on campus unless they have parents in the area.
Thanks for the advice!
Help me out with this. If the students parents REFUSE to do a FAFSA, are willing to NOT provide any support, and are willing not to declare this student as a tax dependent…and agree to these provisions…can’t the student submit the fafsa and get the Direct Loan ONLY in the amount an independent student would receive?
$9500 for freshman year?
Financial aid officers have quite a bit of leeway to do things under professional judgment. I don’t think they make students independent when there is contact between the parent and student, but maybe they could approve a loan.
@AroundHere no…the student would NOT be declared independent…but I do think there is something about parents who refuse to do the fafsa…but also agree not to provide any support…
@kelsmom??
I would contact UAH and ask.
However, really, I think a gap year is best because I think he’d do better at a flagship or similar school or private.
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The fact that I may have to give up my dream is devastating. And I know "it's only a gap year," but, especially around here, I have heard of and even know people who took what started off as a gap year only for that gap year to signal the end of their education. I know my dad may get his financials in order, but it's just as likely that he doesn't. The fact that I'm being held back by forces beyond my control is something that I am just struggling to deal with. <<<<
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I think you missed the point about older siblings helping. I was asking if your older siblings could help dad file his taxes. Maybe the oldest sister who lives at home can help dad with that chore. Or she could help dad with some other responsibility to free up time for your dad to file.
Yes, it’s possible that your dad won’t get his act together next year either. That’s another reason to do a gap year and apply to schools that will give you HUGE merit. With huge merit AND a contribution from your dad (which you mentioned that he can help you next year with costs), you’ll be able to go to college.
I don’t think that for YOU, a gap year would be the end of your education. Your gap year would not be for maturity reasons or because you’d never have the means to cover costs.
More non-soliticited advice…if your dad has good insurance, I suggest that the four of you living in the household, dad, oldest sis, baby sis, and you get into some sort of family counseling. It could likely lead to individual counseling for dad and oldest sis, who seem to be depressed.
You have a large family, 5 children, correct? You have four sisters. The more we learn about the family, the more I’m seeing that mom likely was the glue, and the center of the family. Obviously, her devastating stroke has “injured” more than just her. Your younger sibling may be doing super well in school, but she essentially lost her mom before she was a teenager. Oldest sister seems to be lost. Dad needs help.
Does your dad have good health insurance? If so, treatment for depression is likely covered.