I haven’t seen a lot of preaching about what they should have done in the past, only about the choices they are making despite that.
I was raised (and raise my kids) that if you can’t afford it, you don’t get it. Plain and simple. It’s why my son drives a car 7 years older than he is and I have duct tape repaired more things than you can possibly imagine. If we naively applied to schools thinking it was going to be 15K because that’s what the NPC said and what we felt we could afford and it came back over 30K, the school would immediately be off the table as an option. That’s not “holier than thou”, that’s the truth. There wouldn’t be a figuring out how to make it work, it just would not be an option. About 2/3rds of the schools on DS’s list didn’t make it past the initial scrutiny of the NPC.
It’s hard for me to imagine being in this position though because I’m a big planner. I can’t fathom having one’s head in the sand for 18 years when all you hear in the media is about the rising costs of college and the student loan crisis. How could it be a surprise? To me, that’s almost as bad as retiring with no savings and no plan and just crossing your fingers…but I guess that happens too.