We are very happy with this season of our lives. We have a D19 and a D23. D19 is graduating and has the next four years mapped out on what she is doing and should be able to start her career. D19 in February accepted a full ride at a state directional school. Our day to day child responsibilities are almost nothing. Meaning we don’t have to drive kids here or there for sports or activities. No more juggling who needs a ride or needs to be picked up. I have two kids that have retired from their sports and that is totally fine. I was joking with my wife that I only have two more K-12 things to do, Academic Awards Night and Graduation and then we are done. We have been able to connect with old friends for dinners and such. Those were next to impossible with our kids and their kids schedules. We traveled at Xmas with only immediate family and D19 college roommate. We have somewhat adopted her with her family situation. It was someplace warm and it was very calming and relaxing. Don’t get me wrong we both have full-time jobs that can be taxing at times. Although I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks which is why I have a little extra time on here as I finish up old job. The learning curve will for sure take up some time, but at least I am not juggling the kids also. With new job and D19’s full ride we should have extra funds to do some things we want and make up for retirement.
Just wondering how this turned out. Has the dad had his bday celebration(s) yet? What did OP and wife decide to do?
It was separate celebrations.
Still no contact with sister
Wanted to update anyone that was still interested. We are still no contact with SIL and her family. So we are going on 20 months now. We spent last Xmas in Cabo and it was wonderful. The other SIL did ask last week if we would come to FIL bday dinner this year. DW is still a no go if SIL and family will be there. That did get DW worked up some. I am flabbergasted that they would ask knowing the situation has not been resolved.
We have been empty nesters this past school year and it has been so relaxing. Well, except we have to take care of Vlad the tortoise. He wasn’t smart enough to make it to college.
I just re-read the entire thread. Happy to hear you and DW had a wonderful time in Cabo!
Sending your DW good vibes. It is hard when invites like the one from SIL#1 come. While SIL might think she is playing peacemaker, I have a feeling it felt like a very familiar slap in the face to DW. Once again, she is being asked to act as if everything is resolved when nothing has been.
P.S. Seems like Vlad was smart enough to not need college. He’s got a cushy life with two servants attending his every need.
How would she have felt if she had not been invited or asked at all. Then the complaint would be she wasn’t invited. How is the issue ever to be resolved if your wife continues to refuse to accept any invitation.
Sounds like your wife doesn’t actually want a resolution.
If you are at peace 20 months later, then I think that you should continue to have separate celebrations.
This way everyone gets what they want. No one, except the father-in-law, is saying that you have to be together.
It’s probably more pleasant without the tension and the gameplaying. I wish you both luck and more travels. Thanks for keeping us posted!
The situation will not get resolved until my wife and her sister that she has the issue with meet and hash out what happened. But it for sure won’t happen at a restaurant when we all are together. And if the other two sisters want to go to dinner with FIL for bday we will happily celebrate with him on another day and time. FIL hasn’t taken any initiative to mediate the situation.