<p>We don’t really “know” this parent’s parenting style. We know how it was portrayed in that article, which may or may not be forthright. And we assume that the “kids” here are his offspring, and that they are being forthright. Its unlikely, assuming it is them, that they would badmouth their dad or their family on this forum, which is not one they frequent. We are all entitled to share our thoughts and opinions here. </p>
<p>He may have had 3, maybe 4 kids in college at one time, and over a 4 year span. And if only a few had to work, the rest having scholarships, its not that hard to know what kind of work they did, it that it was not 40 hrs (thats pretty hard to do and go to school fulltime). Just sayin’.</p>
<p>So if the additional info given to the editor was not accurate, whose to say that other info portrayed in the article also isn’t completely accurate.</p>
<p>At least one of them said they went to a CC for two years and there was also something in that article about rental properties producing income. He probably knows, just didn’t go into every detail for every child.</p>
Good insight, GingerPeach. My biggest beef is with the title of the article - “How I Made Sure All 12 of My Kids Could Pay for College Themselves.” That’s what piqued my curiosity, though now I see I should have paid more attention to the conditional nature of the word “could.”</p>
<p>I dislike people taking credit for good fortune, and think that it’s spectacular good fortune to have 12 healthy children. And, forgive me if this has been addressed earlier in the thread, but was there not one among those 12 children who would rather have painted or played the piano or danced than done a sport? It’s rather fortunate for the children, then, that they had such similar interests, too.</p>
<p>No beef with the size of the family. My grandmother was one of 13, though none of them had more than 3 themselves. (Makes for a lot of cousins anyway.)</p>
<p>I don’t know why it’s so hard to accept that somebody can go to school full-time and work full-time.</p>
<p>I was working at Blizzard, doing 40 hours per week during the nights, went to school during the day, and slept when I could. I took between 12-18 units every semester. I know many of my siblings did the same, worked a lot, went to school a lot, and graduated with zero to little debt.</p>
<p>I think this goes along the lines of not believing a 3-year old can help clean a toilet. People IN GENERAL are a LOT more capable than I think you give them credit for when something is expected of them. It may be hard to believe, and sure, it was extremely demanding to work and go to school full-time. But I did it, pushed through it, got my degree, and it was worth it. Same with others in my family.</p>
<p>I worked full time while getting a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree with a kid. Not sure how that’s not possible. It’s definitely possible. Took a few well placed online classes but yeah. Did it.</p>
<p>My mom also took credit for how her kids turned out and we LET her. It wasn’t all genetics since we (most of us) are not full siblings so a VERY mixed genetic bag. All but one turned out to be steady as a rock tax paying citizens, not necessarily college grads but pretty level headed blue/white collar working people who buy houses and are able to put children through college. The troubled one was the oldest who was raised by my grandmother (so mom didn’t have much control over him and it showed). Mom ran a tight ship (single mom so had to) and she could have written many points in the article.</p>
<p>@frazzled1, Several do know how to play a piano, paint, dance, etc. We’re a math family, and an athletic family. It’s what was pushed, and obviously what most ended up doing in their professional careers. It’s what we know, and people like what they know.</p>
<p>That being said, it doesn’t preclude somebody from doing other things. Several do many other things, and have lots of other talents and gifts, and found a way to do that as well.</p>
<p>I suppose my question then is, how did the family members with artistic talents pursue them, and when? Serious music, art, or dance study require easily as much time as pursuing a sport. And weren’t you already quite busy with athletic practices, AP classes, chores, assisting with younger children, building computers and rebuilding cars? </p>
<p>My family is no slouch at time management but I just do not see how all that is possible, even with the most streamlined efficiency practices.</p>
<p>You have to remember, you have a lifetime to pursue these interests. Maybe you work on a car for a few weekends then you’re done for a while, once you have the computer built once you’re also done. We aren’t taking it apart, and re-building all day every day. You can practice the piano, or draw for an hour here and there. Really not that difficult at all. There are a lot of hours in the day. Granted, we sure as hell didn’t watch a lot of tv growing up…</p>
<p>Don’t most parents take some credit for how there kids turn out? Or blame themselves when things go wrong? Parenting is a job and it has some consequences if you mess it up. Sure, luck helps. But, it’s not like any of us just have a couple of kids and wait to see what happens next. What we do matters.</p>
<p>I apologize for not making clear that my question about pursuing the arts instead of a sport was about having a commitment to an art form that might rival an athlete’s commitment to his sport. That’s different, of course, from playing the piano or drawing for an hour here and there. My kids’ piano teacher was not going to settle for a haphazard practice schedule, and wouldn’t have been worth her fee if she had.</p>
<p>It’s interesting to find such similarity of interests among 12 siblings but, again, fortunate for all of you that you had that growing up. It’s nice to think of every adolescent happily pursuing his or her own interests.</p>
<p>Parents do set the tone for a family’s interests. I know a bunch like this who pursue the arts, largely because the mom kinda failed at it and is determined to see her kids succeed. Some are better than others and eventually that becomes clear and they move on to other interests. Some are doing very, very well. I agree that having a kid seriously involved in the arts can be a full-time job if you let it, though. Oh my.</p>
actingmt, I know too many people whose children are struggling with mental illness to think that parenting can be reduced to a neat equation. Of course what we do as parents matters. But some wonderful parents can have pretty messed-up kids, and it isn’t because they didn’t raise their children The Right Way. And I know many adults whose success in life was hard-won because their parents were not up to the job, and their children persevered anyway. </p>
<p>I have three great kids, worked damned hard to raise them, and take credit for none of their success. My husband and I are thankful for the good luck we’ve had every single day. The hard work was no more than we owed those kids.</p>
<p>Interesting, and I agree there’s nothing neat about it and **** happens, unfortunately. That said, I can look at my kids and see the results of some of the things I did right and wrong. These kids seem to be doing okay and the hostility to the family is fascinating. That’s all.</p>
<p>Not seeing hostility- just that its presented with rose colored glasses. Out of curiousity, are the kids using the same parenting style with their kids? If so, why? If not, why not?</p>
<p>actingmt, I meant no hostility in my posts. Do you see any? This remark of yours could be construed as hostile toward families with different interests, couldn’t it?
Is it hard to believe that a family of any number of children might prefer the arts to athletics for legitimate reasons?</p>
<p>No! That is not hostile, at all. That is the case in this family. I know them and in a moment of candor I’m reasonably sure the mom would acknowledge that’s the reason she got her kids involved. I mean, it only makes sense to encourage your children to get involved in things you know and love. And when you have a passel of them they all get dragged along. Nothing illegitimate about it. And, eventually I don’t think “families” prefer anything. Kids become people and pick their own pleasures. </p>
<p>The hostility on the thread earlier was real. Not suggesting it was you, frazzled. Sorry.</p>
<p>My husband worked full time and went to school full time and finished in three years. It can be done. And I really believe the remark above about both parents being on board. My husband has always been much more lenient than I and has not backed me when I wanted to impose chores and stricter rules. And because of schedules, he was able to spend much more time with the children. I think that’s part of what I meant about having control, although perhaps it was unfair of me to infer that the mother did not have control. If she and Dad agreed on parenting styles, and she chose this life, she did have control.</p>