<p>My MIL once said to her children (semi-jokingly) that she has 5 children, but it is a pity that her 5 children only produce 3!</p>
<p>emerald, you don’t understand why people would want a large family?</p>
<p>It sounds good but wondered if it is credible.</p>
<p>* emerald, you don’t understand why people would want a large family?*</p>
<p>A large family of adoptive and foster children, yes, I know several and they work great considering their challenges.
But to spend decades being pregnant/nursing like a dairy cow? ( & what if there are problems with the pregnancy, who takes care of the kids?) No, but just as long as they don’t expect to make decisions about my reproductive organs, I wont expect to make decisions about theirs.
:)</p>
<p>I haven’t read the entire article yet but had to comment on the part about how they hated it when their parents made them eat everything on their plate but then they pretty much did the same with their kids by serving the foods they hated the most first. </p>
<p>When I was a kid my parents tried to make my sister eat dinner that she didn’t want and they made her sit at the table until she finally puked all over her plate. That was a lesson in how not to treat your kids and I never forgot it. </p>
<p>My kids were offered whatever we were having for dinner and if they didn’t want what we were having they could make something else (and clean up the mess from making the dinner). Before they were old enough to cook for themselves we saved the leftovers and they were welcome to eat that later if they became hungry.</p>
<p>That’s a glorious double standard you’ve got there, emerald. But you’re absolutely right. What you said can be applied towards opinions, as well. I’ll leave mine out at the moment. :)</p>
<p>MSDIS, wow. Your story is exactly the same as a scene in the book, The Art of Racing in the Rain. The parents were arguing over makin their daughter eat her food and making her food that she’d want to eat.</p>
<p>How on earth is having a personal preference to not be pregnant/nursing your whole reproductive life a double standard?</p>
<p>A double standard would be saying that you want to control their reproductive system while wanting control of yours.</p>
<p>We deliberately chose to have 2 kids because of ZPG (zero population growth). If we had wanted more, we would have looked into fostering or adoptiong. We also didn’t want more kids than we could support and provide for, from birth THROUGH college. We always felt that it was our duty as parents to help our kids graduate from college debt free. We are glad we were able to do so and didn’t feel it would have been fair to expect them to finance their own undergrad educations.</p>
<p>Having many kids, particularly in a short period of time (like 12 in 15 years) is exhausting for bodies. I also don’t consider it fair to foist younger kids off on older ones, expecting them to be raised by the elder kids. I helped my folks by shopping, preparing, cooking and serving meals for our family of nine for two years when I was in middle school, as well as helped anyone who wanted with homework and typing. That was enough responsibility for me.</p>
<p>HImom -yes! Sounds like children raising children.
I agree with the poster who mentioned the smug tone. Glad it worked for them, but it’s not a situation I would want, as a parent or as a child.</p>
<p>I also do not think that it is a child’s job to raise their siblings.
I am also puzzled where there is evidence of a double standard?
I do not want a large family & so I don’t have one.
As long as proponents of large families do not force me to have children I did not plan for, I won’t force them to use contraception.
How is that a double standard?</p>
<p>It’s not, ek :)</p>
<p>HI- I am making the same choice for that reason (though I think I only want one). I sincerely hope I have the money and energy to adopt as my fiance wants two or three. We both work/have worked with foster children and have a great desire to adopt at least one child.</p>
<p>As a mom who has spent 2 decades pregnant and nursing, I have this to say:
Mooooooo!</p>
<p>Actually, I am not a dairy cow. But I do enjoy having a large family, and I would do it again. Heck, I would have another child even now if it were possible! I’ll have to be content to wait for grandchildren, though.</p>
<p>Large family culture is hard to understand if you didn’t grow up with it. My family gets along very well and we all get together for holidays and reunions–it’s fun being part of a big extended family.</p>
<p>
Well, the thing is, when you have the three year old clean the toilets, it takes FOREVER to make them get the job done right, so you gotta get started early.</p>
<p>Does anyone know what this “Quartz” website is all about? All I can tell is that headlines don’t reflect the content of their articles, because this one should have been called “How I kept my boot on the necks of my wife and kids using just 20 or 30 inflexible rules, only some of which were borderline abusive.” </p>
<p>This story lost all credibility when we were asked to believe that a 16 year old taking the maximum number of AP classes, participating in both a sport and a club, doing community service, doing household chores before school, and having responsibility for a sibling, also had the time–to say nothing of the ability–to rebuild an auto engine and transmission and re-upholster the seats. On the other hand, I’m not surprised that none of the kids ever got speeding tickets–they were no doubt terrified that the penalty would have been to eat all the saved broccoli they’d passed up since infancy.</p>
<p>Personally, a couple who made the choice to give birth to 12 children, had better be rolling in money to support them, Imo.</p>
<p>Do you feel this way about someone who makes the choice to have 4 kids? How about 2 kids? how about 1 kid?</p>
<p>I do believe that people should NOT have any children UNLESS they are in a position to provide for them, just as they should not get married unless they can support themselves as a couple. Considering how many people our world has to support, I can’t understand how people can justify having these huge clans. </p>
<p>I grew up in a large loving family. We have frequent get togethers, as many of us as can gather, which generally includes about two dozen or more people–my parents, many of my sibs & their spouses, and whichever nieces and nephews can attend. We get together several times a month often. The largest family any of us has had was four kids, with most of us stopping with two or fewer. None of us have had more than we can support from birth through college.</p>
<p>I still think it speaks volumes that they haven’t been together since the OLDEST was ~22.</p>
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<p>LOL, MommaJ—so funny, and it encapsulates so well my reaction to this story. This guys sounds like an inflexible, ego-driven jerk. It’s all about him, you see. All entities exist to best reflect his image of himself. A three yr. old cleaning a toilet—does that even make sense?</p>
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<p>Yes, I do expect families to the best of their ability take care of their obligations.
Obviously a family who plans to have 12 children will need greater resources than a couple who plan one.</p>
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<p>There are plenty of parentless children (well over 100,000 in America alone!) out there if it is now physically impossible to have more :)</p>
<p>It doesn’t seem to say how the kids actually got the money to pay for college (merit scholarships? need-based financial aid? work earnings?). </p>
<p>The older ones might have been better able to “work their way through college” than the younger ones, though.</p>