To me, discount stores like Nordstrom’s Rack are VERY much a treasure/scavenger hunt and NOT suitable for someone with limited time and interest in shopping. If it’s something that’s attractive but wrong size, oh well, that’s it. If it’s a full service store they probably will have another in the next size (maybe same or different color), and if she wants it in another shade, it can be ordered and delivered to her.
I would NOT take someone who hates shopping to outlets to get their basics–maybe to add to them but NOT for the blazer and other classic pieces. Yes, you can get bargains but you have to be patient and willing to hunt. Folks who rarely shop tend NOT to be patient and not willing to hunt.
Once she has a collection of basics I’d recommend nordstrom.com for additional pieces. Shipping and return shipping are free, so it’s easy to buy a few things and send back whatever doesn’t work.
I’ve never heard of Stitch Fix. I’ll check it out. It might be a good idea for her.
We have a preliminary budget – $2000. She emailed me that she wants a slacks suit, a summer weight suit and an all-season weight (not sure if that’s 2 or 3 suits).
She probably needs new undergarments and a bra fitting. And yes, she could use a haircut. And I’m sure she needs shoes. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Baby steps.
BTW – what is the status of pantyhose these days for lawyers/business women?
At least in LA, women generally go bare-legged. During the winter you may see tights. Not sure if it is different in your area. There’s always talk of pantyhose coming back, but I haven’t seen it.
Neither of my 20 something fashionistas would be caught dead in pantyhose. D2 works for a big public accounting firm (conservative) and she says they are supposed to wear them but no one ever says anything. She does wear tights when the weather is cold…at least half of the year here!
I’d encourage her to add a classic dress to her list, maybe like a DVF wrap dress, that can be worn to the office, dinner, weddings – really anyplace. That will add tremendous versatility.
Pantyhose is pretty much out, which is ironic considering that shaping undergarments are all in (recall how Spanx got started with control-top pantyhose). I’m dating myself, but when I started practicing law in the late 80s, no female attorney went barelegged (or wore a pantsuit) in the office. It was excruciating in the summer time.
Is there a specific reason that her notion of comfort requires clothes that is too big? Or is it just that the types of clothes that she has now are not as comfortable as they should be when in the correct size?
Dress clothes and shoes should not have to be uncomfortable, but it may be hard in some cases to find comfortable ones (particularly shoes – most men’s dress shoes seem to be quite bad in the comfort department, and I can only imagine what women have to go through since lots of women’s dress shoes look like torture devices).
I was in a professional women’s mentoring group and several of the women raved about StitchFix. Great idea.
If you know someone who sells Worth or Doncaster clothing in home, that might be something to try. I used to get lots of dress clothes through Doncaster.
I agree with HiMom that Nordatrom Rack is not a good idea for her - that kind of store is best for people who like the thrill of the chase, which is clearly not her.
We want pix!! Lol.
Nordstroms Classics Entier (house brand)may be a good line for fill-in pieces. If you find a nice sleeveless silk shell, for example, I’d suggest getting it in a couple of colors and teach her about jewel tones for colder weather, lighter hues for summer, etc.
Would you consider Brooks Bros? They are not quite as stodgy as one might think. And their “credentials” might put her at ease. Their salespeople are trained IME.
Suggestion: One blazer is great…but a new look is a dress with a coordinating sweater. One can get more bank for you buck by doing that. DVF and as mentioned Layfiette 148 has some really nice stuff. Especially with details on blouses.
But I do salute you as a friend. Saks really has some good stuff and let your shopper know that sale things should be looked at first. And at the end of the day: a great glass of wine
“Is her clothing just worn, or is it “actively 80s” - big shoulder pads, big black buttons, very high intensity colors?”
“Is there a specific reason that her notion of comfort requires clothes that is too big? Or is it just that the types of clothes that she has now are not as comfortable as they should be when in the correct size?”
As I said, I haven’t seen her work clothes. Her casual clothes tend to be classic but very stodgy. For example, she wears mom jeans – very high waisted, with enough fabric around her hips/butt to make another pair of pants. I assume that her work pants are probably the same. She wore a 1980s Laura Ashley dress to a recent wedding. I didn’t ask her for details about why comfort = too big for her.
BTW, she really is a very intelligent, inquisitive, caring person. She has a really nice figure, and it’s just a shame she buries it under too-big clothing. Someone earlier asked if she has certain body parts she doesn’t like – very possibly. I know she wears pantyhose because she doesn’t like her legs (which I’ve been told are fine, but I’ve never seen them!).
Congrats on getting her to go shopping, and hopefully things will go well. If she is really, really $$$$$ conscious, you might consider, though it can be hit or miss, checking out Fox’s on E. 86th st. It has sample clothes and a variety of interesting domestic and european lines, and usually a sales clerk will bring you things as you stay in the dressing room. Prices are VERY reasonable but often availability is limited so she might not find her size in a dress or suit she likes. We have one in my city and I go periodically. They have some fun stuff. The sales clerk who used to know exactly what would look good on me, unfortunately is no longer there, but last time I was there I was able to find a few things. They have clothes, shoes and accessories. But again it is hit or miss. Most people I know like it, but some do not.
Make note of her personal jewelry style when you see her. Does she wear any? Would she be open to some updated costume jewelry - a pair of earrings with some presence, a thin little necklace with a small charm or alternatively a necklace with some presence like a twisted multi strand pearl rope that looks fresher than grandma’s string of pearls?
Ask her this - what does she think her clothing says about her? (Even if privately you disagree) what does she want her clothing to say about her? Is there someone famous whose clothing style she admires or thinks is attractive - or alternatively someone whose look she abhors? And why? That can give insight into her fears. I’m going to go out a limb and guess that “standing out from the crowd/being noticed” is a bugaboo for her, and then you can gently help her realize that her choices are dated enough they make her stand out. Which is precisely what she doesn’t want. I’m just guessing though. Other women fear that looking " pretty" reduces credibility so then you show her that the two can work together.
“The problem with stores like Nordstrom Rack is that they are very hard to take for people who hate to shop. I hate to shop and I can’t deal with Nordstrom Rack; I become overwhelmed in 5 mins. That’s why the personal shopper idea makes sense. But she needs a budget and a list of target items.”
I think outlets would pose a similar problem for the person who hates to shop.
I also think she will need to up her budget. $2000 will not be enough if she also need bras/other undergarments and shoes.
Pretty = not serious is something people tell themselves when they are scared or confused about what pretty is. There is a big difference in being beautiful and being a bimbo/slutty. You can be pretty w/o showing your assets!!
I like the idea of brooks if she wants suits. Another thing shoppers who hate shopping is online. Try it one when you can, at home. Send what doesn’t work back. In the future that may with for you!
Agree $2000 not enough but you have to crawl before you walk and walk before you run!
Assuming she has business-dress needs, it might also work to find something where you have jacket, skirt, pants, sheath dress that all work together - show her she can be conservative and elegant with finer fabrics, up to date cuts but reduce her anxiety. I almost wonder if you don’t go black - maybe you find a really pretty steel gray or brown (assuming it works with her coloring) to give a little visual interest. It would be really easy to give this woman a “blah” black outfit. (Not that the OP would! Just that if the woman is into “safe” she might gravitate there)
